>>94219 (OP) I feel like I'm improving, but not fast enough.
I'm fixing that, beating my old self, but then I start to feel like this again.
My worst enemy is me. My best friend is me. I feel distanced from my body and mind. I feel hidden reality, sometimes I can see it, I'm trying to help others to see it, but over year's I understood that its not possible. Very few can see it. I'm trying to share with what I see in it, but human words cannot properly describe it, I'm trying to animate it with digital tools. So others will finally understand what I'm seeing.
I'm trying to help others to improve, but I need to do it better. I feel like I will fail to save others if I won't become better, but bar moves higher all the time. I cant properly rest, I can't properly sleep, I'm getting haunted by nightmares which I'm completely desentized to. I feel like I'm running from train in a tight tunnel and it keeps speeding up. I must not fail people around me. I must and I will keep going.
I must save as much people as possible from what is about to happen in 2030-2035. They want us dead. I will try my best to not let them do that, even if I'm most likely to just get killed like just another whistleblower. People will get angry, then they will meme about it and move to next algorithmic trend. They will not think and they will forget, again.
I know that people will keep hiding and pretending that everything is fine, so I will do it myself.