β80434
>I'm leaving in less than two weeks to go to basic training
These are the people "defending" our country and they wonder why i despise the army and think everyone in it needs to be thrown off a 1000 story building
β80462
>being this cucked by a sandnigger religion
β80504
sorry for the xitter rant, but i also struggle with the topic at hand, except ive never had a relationship with anyone, i was convinced that i was 100% straight for a long time and that identity made sense to me and was important to me. i was never attracted to men in any way and i used to have crushes on girls and all that, but after all of the EPI, being called gay as an insult (cuz i was a crybaby and likely autistic caca so that mightve stuck with me), the influence from other retards because of always being forced to be with the other weirdos and the brainwashing of unrestricted internet access with constant interaction with fags i think some of this shit actually got to me somehow. i mainly blame it on all that stuff and the furry shit making me start becoming a degenerate and falling down the gooner rabbit hole. its a blessing i stopped sooner or i might've become something lower than sub human. point is: ive looked at stuff i can never unsee, and i cant undo things i did in the past and this makes me seethe. this was never meant to happen, i DESPISE this doubt about whether i actually am irreversibly a fag or if i was never one at all. i hang onto the possibility that it can either be reversed or that this is just brain bullshit because of trauma but everywhere i search im told that im "born this way", that we cant change this, that the hatred is just "internalized phobia" or some troon shit, and that fucking makes me lose my shit. if i didnt know that dwelling on it just makes it worse, i'd have ropemaxxed a while ago. i havent done that because i dont think it would fix the problem (if god exists and such) and i wouldnt dare leaving my family who has already suffered enough. the parasite theory is kinda schizo but i wouldn't be against trying lmao. im trying my best out here but i don't see much hope, but id rather die or celibatemaxx than live just accepting to add another mental illness to my "collection", why would i ever accept to be someone i hate? i already hate most of my traits without this shit.
β80859
>vlodposters are groomed faggots
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG