I haven't had a genuine connection with anyone since I was around ten. I haven't had an acquaintance in two. Even at that, the two acquaintances I had hated me, I was always the third wheel. Outside of education, they - for the three years I knew them - never spoke a word to me, so I just fucked off on my own accord. Loneliness, coupled with being a manlet sub-3, has left me buried in a hole that wasn't fully of my own creation, but it's quite comfy when I don't think about it beyond the tranquil silence, so I'll stick it.
Sociability is an inherent human trait, as is adaption, thusly making my condition bother me less than it should. I have no-one to talk to outside of imageboards, but my mind has evidently suckled every last drop of "social-feed" that gives me, and I don't know if I'd have it any other way. I've never liked being observed by people, due to my own observations of them proving to me that their common denominator is manufactured, over-saturated, over-social, filthy and abrasive. I don't want to get caught in their lives, and seeing as I look and refuse to feed their sick games of social grape-vine as I do, it's a shared disdain. That's the basic surface of my opinion. There's much more to it, much more to how I formed said view and acted accordingly, but it's not interesting.
The only form of contact I long for, would be that of a girlfriend. That's one I cannot shake, for it's buried in every mans mind behind layers upon layers of natures law. I quench my thirst with waifufaggotry, and although it's a fruitless on a larger-scale, it works. It works because its fantasy, and no real woman could ever match even the longing for hypothetical scenarios involving basic hand-holding and talking between herself and I. Not with me being as I am anyway, I'm simply not compatible with anyone but adjacent freaks like myself online for it doesn't involve anything physical. But once more, I don't know if I'd have it any other way. Online discussion doesn't involve people glancing at you like your a five-headed animal for simply being there, nor does it involve body-language revealing what you refuse to state verbally.
At the end of the day, "comme ci, comme ça", as the tranquility has given me time in spades to expend on creative pursuits and study into topis I enjoy. It's not healthy for the more grounded "animalistic" foundations that all social animals share, but it is dismissable to all built upon it in the case of man. Not
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