>>93405Yeah, I have noticed that some of it has to do with political violence. That might explains the violent parts but I still don't know if it explains everything.
>>93444That's not the only thing though. I might've done a bad job of explaining it really feels like something is happening. I'm at about the age where schizophrenia/similar disorders develop. I've read about how those disorders develop and it seems scarily similar to what I'm going through.
I haven't had any visual hallucinations but I've experienced plenty of other stuff. I have frequent periods of stress where I feel my life is at risk, I'm randomly suspicious and angry at people over things I really shouldn't, I have very violent fantasies and seem to be desensitized to violence.
I've also sort of begun hearing voices. They're not really auditory but they're more like thoughts which pop into my head and I narrate without my control. For example I often experience my life being narrated as if it's a documentary, I can sort of suppress but it's mostly out of my control. It's not a particular vivid/loud voice but it's certainly there. Other than that I experience what are sort of whispers telling me to do something or getting angry at me for doing something "wrong"