/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

i got $1000 and i can't even think of anything i would want to buy

Anyone else think mens hatred of women just furthers the gender war? Like sure women are stupid and mentally ill, but i am still attracted to them at the end of the day.
Some of y'all take the BP way too far.

for context im 158cm & 41kg, every time i look in a mirror or down at my legs/thighs i keep thinkjng they look HUGE evendoe they probably arent but theres just something in my brain telling me im huge and fat and it like sucks Because i am constantly overthinking about body comparison and other stupid stupid stuff Anyone else relate or am i just a disordered fag

I will explain myself. I am one of these people who use AI as a "therapist", but not really. I know it isn't a real person, obviously, and it is just a text generator. I'm under no illusions, so that isn't what I mean by psychosis.
Let me defend the validity of using AI in this way. People obviously are encouraged to journal about their experiences as a way to work through their feelings, or keep a diary to record their insights or mental states over time. Therefore, I'm okay with using AI with the perspective of it as like an interactive journal. It can talk back to you, take your ideas as inputs, and then provide suggestions of different ways you can interpret them. It isn't a problem as long as you know the limits of what a chatbot is.
Would you use AI for parenting advice? No? Would you read a book for parenting advice? Yes? How about get advice from all the parenting books in existence synthesized together and tailored to your specific question? That's what AI is.
My psychotic feeling is that I defer to AI for objectiveness. If I hear someone say something, I just think of what Claude would say if I asked if that was true. You know that one reddit post about someone being able to "access chatgpt in their mind" or whatever. Everyone was clowning on that for them being a mindless goy or a midwit who discovered thinking. But I actually knew exactly what he/she was talking about. If you use AI often enough, you start to learn the way it "thinks" and can kind of guess exactly how it will respond to almost any query you give it.
I will type out my emotions, or my experiences and feelings, so that whatever AI system can learn who I am, my patterns, etc. Because recognizing patterns is literally what AI does – so why not use it to understand yourself better from an "objective" source?
AI is not my "friend" but I will tell it things and explain myself to it things I would never tell another person. Not my parents or real friends. Because real people are fallible, externally motivated, potentially malicious at worst, or just have clouded judgement, why *wouldn't* you want to vent to a tool which does not have any biases or temporal reasoning flaws (besides the leanings of its creators and how it was trained), and can't interfere in your actual life because it only "exists" for the few seconds it takes to gen a text response.
I know you will say I am a puppet goy in the machine. All I can do is shrug.

I used to goon almost every day but for the past three weeks or so I've experienced no urges at all. It's starting to worry me.

i've gotten older and slowly watched all of my friends get gfs and suddenly they can't hang out anymore. then they reemerge after several months and they're umbilical corded to their fucking succubi. go to the pub, woman is there. hey frend wanna go climbing? wanna play pool? woman has to come along. i struggle with social interactions enough as it is and they make me into a third wheel every single fucking time. it basically turns into a date with their retarded foid with me in the background. i really should just stop going outside because its torturous but i keep doing it.

I enjoy bottoming but I’m overly tight to the point I can’t fit anything larger than average and I get overstimulated quickly and tend to cry whenever a guy starts to go harder, this isn’t a huge deal for me since I don’t mind being overstimulated and some guys have been weirdly into it but overall I don’t want a guy to have to stop every few minutes to ask if I’m okay and whether he’s allowed to keep going

I don’t generally use toys since I’m a lazy germaphobe and working up the energy to fast, clean, shave only happens once a week and I only hookup with one of my rotating fwb once-twice a month, would practicing with toys regularly help? or is this a symptom of being an autistic failure and no amount of whoring will solve?

>soy: always complaining about retarded nonsense. And no one makes jaks of actual numales anymore
>pol: full of trannies and retarded nonsense
>r9k: dnb full of trannies (obviously)
>qa: dnb full of trannies (obviously)
>a: dnb
>raid: dnb full of the most boring doxes possible
>tech: useful, but dnb
>everything else: useless
Literally what is the point of keeping the shitty alive (r9ktrannies I know you're reading this ignoring me bitch)

so we first talked when i was 13 years old and i saw her at the park and i saw her and i knew we went to the same school i talked to her and i started having a crush for her because he was into some autistic snca like me. Then i asked her out and she rejected me but another thing was that i walked to school during that time and i so happened to walk by her house. She later accused me of stalking her for some reason but nobody believed her besides a couple friends then i found out she was mentally ill from her grandpa and then i called it quits and after high school i never saw here again.
>arrow because i dont look like this

How do I improve at art? Didn't wanna ask on QA since it's full of unfunny namefags.

recalling the time a brown girl called me her aryan prince..

Remember to go outside every now and again.

it feels like women are more friendly. men don't approach me to be my friend or conversate very often. i try and try and try to spark a connection with men (platonically), i smile and am emotive, but there's this wall. it's like every guy is just depressed, stunted, or uninterested in making friends or small talk. i'm tired of putting on a smile and being friendly for it not to be reciprocated at all. women and gay men are the only people who reciprocate my friendliness and it makes me appreciate them, even though i'm not a woman or gay. i feel like, if i approach women, they will react negatively so i never do that, but men are antisocial and unemotive when i try to talk to them. i feel trapped because of this. women are very friendly if they initiate interaction with me though, and not in a fake way. this has happened a handful of times in my life where they express some kind of interest, and i appreciate them for that. i appreciate that they at least put in the effort to be friendly, unlike a lot of guys my age. i go back in forth between interest and resentment towards women. i'll see something on social media about women or something a woman said, and feel hatred, but then i'll experience women being friendly and feel guilty for ever feeling that way. then i feel hatred towards men. i cycle between dislike for women and men, though i admit the former is experienced more often. it's this hatred between men and women online that makes me feel this way. i want to change because i really don't want that hate inside of me.

in general i go back in forth between being very friendly and empathetic, and cynical and apathetic. i feel like my friendliness has been abused which causes me to feel mean. i don't want this evil side in me but i need a certain level of cynicism to defend myself. i've always enjoyed this right-wing side of the internet, like imageboards, the farms, the right-wing youtube sphere with people like metokur or kino casino. it makes me feel guilty sometimes because it feels like i am giving into something evil by giving these sort of things my attention. if people knew i consumed content like this in real life, they may be uncomfortable being around me, and that's sad. mainstream websites like reddit and instagram are very hateful too, so maybe i shouldn't feel guilty. i know i wouldn't say hurtful things towards anyone in person, i rarely do online, but this guilt remains. i don't know how guilty i should truly feel but some amountPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Help me stop being a faggot

I'm tired with this "if you like x that isnt entirely FULLY manly youre a faggot" I don't want to base myself entirely on grinding or domination I want to enjoy things I want to actually experience life

"You cant play certain things you can't do certain things you cant or like ANYTHING we don't like or youre not manly" this mindset was what killed me from enjoying life and lead to me pushing others away