Basically, I'm really fucked in the head, and it's ruining other people's lives as well. This post was motivated by this thread >>71537
Over the past several months, my mental health has somewhat deteriorated. I've mostly stopped gooning, not because of NNN but because my libido is so low. I scroll past porn sometimes and most thumbnails involving women make me viscerally disgusted (maybe at myself, maybe at the material) for some unknown reason. I've also become completely desensitized to gore; I used to use 4cuck for porn but now I just go there to watch gore because it gives me an adrenaline rush o algo.
I struggle with relationships. I don't have any close friends and have something that manifests as major trust issues. Meaning I have great social skills in one-off interactions but when I see them again I don't know how to behave. This is very off-putting for a lot of people, and I sometimes intentionally avoid making friendships because I ruin them all one way or another. I've been considering getting a waifu because it's been like this my whole life.
the only issue is
i'm attractiveever since I started university, I've had a bunch of genuinely nice women show interest in me and I keep fucking them over. It's torture. Just recently a girl who probably had a crush on me for a few months came up to me and said hi in a kind of flirty voice but I just said “what’s up” and went back to my phone in a very rude manner because I was too fucking nervous.
This is probably the most brutal thing I've ever done in my life and I feel terrible. I caught her glancing at me several times afterward and she's now completely ignoring me in group. settings.
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