â„–87198[Reply]
This is my first time making a post on /r9k/, but I felt that this was a good place to ask my question since I have been lurking for a few months. I did the robot test a while back and got "cyborg," so I don't know if you guys will be able to relate all that well, especially considering how messed up this post is going to be, but it's anonymous, so it doesn’t really matter that much anyway.
The point of this post is that I need help. Yesterday, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were having a serious conversation. I end up remembering that I was raped by my father when I was very very very young, it had completely escaped my mind until that point (I am a male btw). I realized it messed me up. Not in a conscious way, because I didn’t understand what was happening when I was getting raped, so I wasn’t really that disturbed at the time, but in my subconscious. I ended up finding out about porn through it indirectly, and porn as well as masturbation has fucked up my life pretty bad ever since. My lust has crept so heavily into my life that when I am online in games and other social platforms, or even the rare times I go outside, when I see someone, my mind will sometimes wander into sexual or romantic thoughts, even without talking to them. I used to go on walks all the time, but whenever I would see someone, even if they didn’t even look at me, I would get these visions or thoughts that they wanted to fuck me or get with me. I have to chastise myself for it because 1. It's absolutely despicable. I actually despise uncontrolled lust (partially because of my addiction and partially because of my raped subconscious). I want to be comfortable with myself and my lust, because at the end of the day, I think that lust is human, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. How can I rewire my brain to escape my lust and addiction? This has been weighing on me pretty heavily, so any and all advice is appreciated.
23 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view. â„–87289
>>87287Sorry, but I'm not a fish. Bait isn't my thing.
â„–87298
>This is my first time making a post on /r9k/, but I felt that this was a good place to ask my question since I have been lurking for a few months. I did the robot test a while back and got "cyborg," so I don't know if you guys will be able to relate all that well, especially considering how messed up this post is going to be, but it's anonymous, so it doesn’t really matter that much anyway.
>
> The point of this post is that I need help. Yesterday, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were having a serious conversation. I end up remembering that I was raped by my father when I was very very very young, it had completely escaped my mind until that point (I am a male btw). I realized it messed me up. Not in a conscious way, because I didn’t understand what was happening when I was getting raped, so I wasn’t really that disturbed at the time, but in my subconscious. I ended up finding out about porn through it indirectly, and porn as well as masturbation has fucked up my life pretty bad ever since. My lust has crept so heavily into my life that when I am online in games and other social platforms, or even the rare times I go outside, when I see someone, my mind will sometimes wander into sexual or romantic thoughts, even without talking to them. I used to go on walks all the time, but whenever I would see someone, even if they didn’t even look at me, I would get these visions or thoughts that they wanted to fuck me or get with me. I have to chastise myself for it because 1. It's absolutely despicable. I actually despise uncontrolled lust (partially because of my addiction and partially because of my raped subconscious). I want to be comfortable with myself and my lust, because at the end of the day, I think that lust is human, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. How can I rewire my brain to escape my lust and addiction? This has been weighing on me pretty heavily, so any and all advice is appreciated. I was raped btw
â„–87312
>>87277Sounds horrible. Yeah, they live in your gut and release chemicals called xenagons which alter your hormone levels and behavior. Most human hormone synthesis goes on in guts, it's perfect place to disrupt whole thing. As long as you keep them alive your abnormal lust won't go away.
â„–87343
I hope the best for you op and that you can grow from this, you're a gemmy
â„–87416
>>87343Thanks you for the words of encouragement. It means a lot to me.
â„–88550
JSID KEKKK