/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

I feel like I’m not really in control of my thoughts. While I don’t think I am mentally ill or something, I also don’t want to get it tested as that would make getting a gun license harder.
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It’s hard for me to fully concentrate on things because I’ll always think of some stuff my conscious doesn’t care about and knows isn’t important at the moment, but it still won’t let me get my mind off things. This is especially annoying because I have recently (2-3 months ago now) quit more porn addiction cold turkey, and all the triggers (as much as I hate to use that word) around me haven’t let me catch a break from these intrusive thoughts or whatever you want to call them. It also won’t let me do my school assignments in peace and I can’t enjoy one if my hobbies to the fullest anymore, as it requires focus for an extended period of time.
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Something that used to help was listening to chuddy audiobooks/podcasts or, as retarded as it sounds, stimming to The Gateway Tapes. But my headphones have been broken for a month or so now at the worst possible time, as the winter is when my mental get’s the worst.
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I’ve been looking more into Christianity lately and, although I’m not fully convinced yet, I would pick it over any other religion any day if the week. The only thing bothering me is that I know I have sinned heavily in my life, and I am constantly wondering if what I am doing is right or wrong or if it is a test or a message of God.
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Do any of you have any suggestions or similar experiences? I know some of you on here are doing way worse and I truly hope you get better.

long story short, some Gen Z wigger hit me with his car last night on my way home from work and fractured my collarbone/injured my foot. it could've been worse of course and i'm thankful it wasn't a super serious injury but i ended up having to go to urgent care to get imaging done, along with a sling i need to wear for a few weeks + painkillers.

hospital was apparently out of network so im not sure what my insurance company is planning to do, and although i won't have any shifts over winter break (thankfully) i'm worried i won't be able to recover in time and they're gonna fire my ass (looked into applying for FMLA leave but im not even sure my company meets the eligibility requirements). guy who hit me gave me $1k in gratuity and said he would cover any medical costs insurance wouldn't cover, but beyond that i don't know what i'm going to do and i'm worried this shit is gonna turn me into a NEET living off welfare and SDI checks for the foreseeable future.

any soyteens here ever gone through something similar? is there anything i can do or should i just blow my shit smooth off at this point?

Do you like my new hairstyle?

Pro Ana thread. Yes this is topical because we are talking about food and eating, specifically what is safe to eat and what is not safe. A few things to help thinanons get comfortable…
>Do you keep a diary?
>Do you wear proana beads?
>What are your "safe" foods?

Share ana tips…
>for sweet cravings, lick a chopstick and dip it in sugar free hot chocolate mix
>keep thinspiration everywhere
>celery is okay in moderation
>constantly be drinking water
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Hey guys, just wanted to give you an update on Lindsay.

Lindsay now absolutely refuses to clean up after herself at all. She still refuses to use the toilet which is fine but she NEEDS to clean up after herself. Other than that she is an amazing roommate and we all really like her but this is really becoming a problem. Our boyfriends and girlfriends don't even want to come over anymore. She says it isn't a big deal and that we're making a big deal out of nothing. She says she doesn't tell us how or where to use the bathroom and it isn't her problem that the rest of us just happened to agree on using a specific place to shit when we met and that having roommates means having to make compromises sometimes and putting aside our differences to keep peace in the house and that everyone is hanging up on her.

I went to the shop where she works and from talking to her co-worker it seems like she doesn't behave this way at work or I assume he would have said something so I don't know what her deal is. She refuses to actually discuss this. She doesn't know this yet but Josh is considering moving back with his parents in Wisconsin.

I got along with Lindsay right away when we met and is a super close friend but this is making me wonder if our friendship will even last. Thanks for listening again and I'll keep you guys posted.

Actual gemerald theme

The cute 19 year old Mexican girl who barely speaks English and works in the kitchen where I work just handed me a note saying "You are so fuck(sic) handsome". Should I pursue this and get myself a Latinx tradcath tradwife? She's a nice girl. I think I should give her my number today before I leave. I swear to God this isn't bait. I've never dated a girl and I don't know the exact ramifications of race mixing so I'm at a loss.

Does anyone here also feel a lack of guidance in their lives? I'm not sure if it's because I was mostly forced to do things by myself for a few years, but nothing ever stuck. I tried religions, philosophies, hell even movements, but nothing ever seemed right.
Is there a way I can find guidance? I am trying to be self-sufficient but sometimes you need someone (or something) to help you.

Yesterday I was on the bus, and for some reason I was 100% convinced there was a severed head in my bag. I couldn't stop thinking about it or trying to hide it. Oddly enough, I had no problem opening the bag and never considered just throwing it away. I've also experienced some fairly similar delusions recently, but they weren't as severe.
I'm mentally healthy (as far as I'm aware), but I use DPH every once in a while. Could it have somehow permanently messed up my brain? This can't just be HPPD, right?

honestly there's a chance that nobody is going to take this seriously at all, but i'm posting it anyways.
it's likely that i'm really mentally ill, i mean my mind hasn't given me an actual break for months about my fuck ups i made with my porn addiction (related to hentai). i should probably be visiting some mental health professional or talking to a friend but here i am, but for anyone taking a serious look at this thread would you really say that it's only some pOCD related worry at this point?
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i was told that it is and that i should stay off here but it feels like i can't give my mind enough evidence for it to not shred me apart,
i don't even have anyone IRL to talk to about this at the moment too unfortunately and i don't know how to open up yet so it makes it harder to get over.
just to make avoid making this a gigantic text wall, you can read >>75024 and go from there on my ID in that thread to see what my worries are about.
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i seem to be obsessed with investigating myself for my past actions a lot.
even if i have NO attraction to any of that shit in hindsight, considering it just seemed to be a bunch of mistakes i made during my porn addiction.
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What are some good books/resources to start learning politics?

I saw your thread was deleted, but I hope you se this

I know your pain. I missed out on teen love too. Even when I was a little child, I hoped teenage life would be filled with love and adventure, but I didn’t get it. I

I always blamed myself for the circumstances I was in, failing to see how inhospitable the environment I lived in really was. We have been taught to only blame ourselves, so we don’t realize how bad things really are. Every aspect of our lives is deteriorating. This goes for almost every westernized country, and it’s only getting worse. Our health, wealth, social lives, and love lives have been nefariously sabotaged through multiple action plans by our enemies before we were even born.

You're not alone. You may have had a terrible start like me and countless other zoomers, but we can still grow in poor soil, and there's still good girls out there who can give us the love we never had. Don't believe all the psyops that tell you that you cannot experience love the same way after a certain age. It's not completely wrong, but it doesn't really have anything to do with age. Rather, it has something to do with virginity. When a girl has already slept with a man, her love grows weaker. She cannot love her new boyfriend the same way she enthusiastically loved her first. This love from a female virgin is often mistaken for teen love when it really should be called the love of a virgin.

You’re far from alone we are in this together.

I'm joining my countrys army cuz i think my degree is useless and i cant go back to college for another degree.

i relapsed

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