It's like 2 in the morning as I write this, so forgive me if it gets nonsensical. (included a stupid doodle of my shark guy if that matters)
I used to be ok at making friends. that was until sophomore year, I realized that I was always the "backup friend" for everybody I ever talked to/was "friends" with. Im graduating on the 24th, I've committed to a college for a marine bio degree, and im dreading having to talk to people. I honestly feel like I've already wasted my life.
Ive been holed up in my mom's apartment for the last 2 years. All my attempts at hanging out or contacting people had resulted in unanswered texts or being left on read. So instead, I started rotting on my shitty pc sinking hours into Troonfortress 2. I used to love the game, used it as a comfort thing to supplement my nonexistent social life. objectively the worst decision I ever made.
I met a few people on the game, unfortunately, most of them are retarded gay/trans furniggers (although I am technically a furry, I try to not be associated with a majority of them.)
I talk to them sometimes, but it just feels off. All of them are a little odd in one way or another, and it bothers me. Yet I feel like im too anxious/retarded to speak to normal people. It makes me so angry that im not part of a freind group, or have somebody to talk to or do stuff with. Like it's getting to the point whenever I see a group of friends havin fun, or a happy couple together, I just want to see that joy taken from them. It just feeds my cycle of rotting on the computer or just lifting weights to distract myself.
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