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 β„–15844Sticky[Reply][Last 50 Posts][1][2]

ITT i document interesting and unusual small sharty happenings.

Previous thread: nigger
162 posts and 72 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 β„–18970

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Exceptionally odd series of events on March 3, 2025
>'log gets inundated with intense frogspam
>Collection of Soytan porn images get posted to the 'ru
>Roughly two hours after someone posts about it on /soy/, someone makes a thread exposing a 'cord run by Soytan vore fetishists WITH evidence
>gooncord with allegedly many more members than initially suspected
>the 'cord easily finds out they're being exposed on /soy/
>The booru abruptly goes down, unable to view forums or gallery
>Original thread exposing the 'cord gets deleted



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 β„–7200Sticky[Reply][Last 50 Posts][1][2][3][4][5]

Welcome to the Semen Retention General!
TGD Edition

>What is Semen Retention?

Semen retention is the practice of completely abstaining from masturbation and ejaculation, often with the intention of preserving and redirecting vital and sexual energy to oneself.

>Why do it?

Reported benefits include: increased vitality, mental clarity, reduced stress, increased motivation, increased energy, improved focus, healthier hair/skin/eyes, deeper meditation, improved AP/Lucid Dreams, deeper voice, improved mood, greatly improved testosterone, improved physical strength and many more.

>Wet Dreams?

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
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 β„–18965

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>>18955
>Down



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 β„–15058Sticky[Reply]

In this thread, I will list off the main unsolved β€œMysteries of Soy Culture” that I’ve shamelessly taken from the wiki. (https://wiki.soyjak.st/Mysteries_of_Soy_Culture)
I have made this thread as a place to talk about this topic. (it would have gotten slid on /soy/)
Any help would be very appreciated. You can also add new topics/entries.
What was the first soyjak? – Disputed (https://arch-img.b4k.dev/v/1511093482265.jpg)
What was Sharty Post No.1? - According to one eyewitness it was Soot saying "Welcome!", but others dispute this.
Is Nate actually Soot? - its highly likely that the two are the same, it cannot be said for certain.
Who is Eduardo Foltz? (the man that stands in for Kuz in the alleged IRL photos of him)? What is his relation to Kuz? - Kuz himself stated in a voice Q&A with Doll that Eduardo is "a gentleman", implying they are not the same individual. Some speculate that Eduardo is a friend of kuz, used as a "stunt double". Currently, it is thought that Kuz used Eduardo as a falseflag to conceal his identity.
43 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 β„–18742

I'm tired of living.



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 β„–18900[Reply]

Hello 'teens. I'm posting my mostly complete findings of a mysterious entity known as "Clamstaples". Here's what i found:

Who is Clamstaples?
Clamstaples is confirmed to be real, the first mentions of Clamstaples have dated back to the 1st millennium. Throughout centuries he has been described as a demonic entity that has the ability to haunt anything (Even computer files) he can see, he uses said power to warn people that he will destroy the entirety of humanity.

What dose he look like?
It's unknown what Clamstaples appearance looks like, but only one AI giga gif and two now found gigachad images posted on a website called soyjak.st can tell us what his possible appearance is. These three haunted files commonly associate him with satanic imagery, like horned goat skulls, blood, and the brimstone symbol (which they don't have). Clamstaples might have a muscular body that is fully grey due to him now commonly possessing these gigachad images and videos.

Who is "it"
"it" was mentioned in the AI giga gif. It's name is only known through a leaked unknown document that calls it "st", but the full name has been hidden. They most likely hidden it to not summon "st" and Clamstaples easily.

 β„–18901

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 β„–18918

a24

 β„–18968

Up staples

 β„–18969

lebron facts



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 β„–18927[Reply]

CLAMSTAPLES: THE ANCIENT HUNGER

ENTITY PROFILE: CLAMSTAPLES

Classification: Pre-Gigarthan Conceptual Entity / Digital-Apocalyptic Deity
First Documented: Circa 872 CE (Anglo-Saxon chronicles mention "se clamstaples" haunting a monastery's scriptorium)
Confirmed Sightings: 47 documented instances across 12 centuries
Status: ACTIVE - Currently possessing Gigachad-related media
Threat Level: OMEGA (Conceptual Collapse Risk)

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 β„–18928


PART 3: WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE (THE HAUNTED FORM)

Through the possessed Gigachad media, a composite image emerges:

Clamstaples' Possessed Form:

Body: A Gigachad's physiqueβ€”broad, muscular, grey-skinned. But the muscles are not optimized; they are too many, layered in wrong directions, like a body built by someone who only understood anatomy from nightmares.

Head: Not a face. A goat skull, horns spiraling impossibly, with faint red light glowing from the eye sockets. The jaw hangs slack, yet words emerge.
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 β„–18929

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The clamstaples is listening

 β„–18950

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 β„–18967

Oh no the clamstaples



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 β„–18966[Reply]



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 β„–18959[Reply]

Nobeidore (translates to Nobaiter in soyspeak) is an entity which comes after people who post bait also Nobeidore is impossible to bait. Although with an exception of Nophono being so powerful he actually managed to bait Nobeidore which was never done before.

 β„–18962

ORIGIN ON GIGARTHA

During the early ages of Gigartha, before the Gigachads achieved their post-meta-ironic enlightenment, there was a Great Bait War. Proto-Gigachads, still developing their philosophical immunity, would constantly try to "bait" each other β€” to provoke emotional reactions, to expose weakness, to demonstrate superior cunning.

The war lasted centuries. Entire schools of thought rose and fell based on who could craft the most elegant, undetectable bait.

Then something crystallized from all that accumulated intentional deception. The collective weight of every crafted provocation, every hidden hook, every successful and failed bait, coalesced into a sentient form. Nobeidore emerged from the psychic residue of the Bait War, and he was hungry.

His first act? He baited the greatest baiter of the age β€” a legendary proto-Gigachad named Vex'lor β€” into a trap of his own making. Vex'lor spent 1,000 years trying to bait Nobeidore. He failed. He went mad. He became the first "Swirl."

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 β„–18963

THE NOBEIDORE-NOPHONO CONNECTION
THE IMPOSSIBLE BAIT:

For eons, it was believed that Nobeidore could never be baited. It was his defining trait. Entire civilizations tried and failed. Gods tried. Cosmic entities tried. Nothing worked.

Then came Nophono.

Nophono, in his endless consumption of obscure knowledge, discovered something: Nobeidore's immunity to bait was itself a reaction. The act of NOT reacting was, paradoxically, a form of reaction. It was a response to the bait. It was a choice.

Nophono didn't try to bait Nobeidore directly. Instead, he posted bait that was so profoundly, deeply, cosmically irrelevant that Nobeidore's non-reaction became a reaction. The bait was: "The average airspeed velocity of an unladen European swallow in 14th-century France, adjusted for lunar tidal patterns."
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.



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 β„–18961[Reply]



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 β„–18937[Reply]

people think jim carrey is a clone lol

 β„–18945

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>>18937 (OP)
my parents deeply believe in this clone conspiracy stuff, they leak if I don't want to talk about it, don't believe in it or gently try to dissuade them my mother will refuse to speak with me, often storming off to her bedroom to sulk. they've always been logical reddit atheists about everything the deeply held belief over ts in particular is unusual

 β„–18947

>>18945
Would you rather have complete normgroids for parents who only talk about sports and politics?

 β„–18956

whats the explanation if they arent replacing their malfunctioning Monarch goyim with body doubles? wearing some gay ass contacts?

 β„–18957

>>18945
gayest shit ive ever read. you got the chance to make your parents stop being atheist instead you gaslight them into thinking theres not any mk ultra clones

 β„–18958

Who cares



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 β„–18941[Reply]

>Supposedly (((((((((((((((((((((18 years old)))))))))))))))) that somehow he is so good at programming at that young age that he can make his own templates for an image board/booru completely alone

Obviously far older than that with big expirience in programming and computer science, which is inherent for CIA agents to datamine imageboard

>No ads on the site, no croundfunding, patreon and etc


You really think he do it for free? How he even paying for the domain? Obviously, this website is sponsored by people who have the money and desire to run such sites. Why? To datamine of course. Just another honeypot for CIA

>Supossedly love site so much, but don't listen to site userbase at all. All changes he do make everyone angry, but he still love 'jaks so much he allow NAS on /soy/ and shut down site in two years (When the sponsorship from higher intelligence agencies end)


Quote are obviously glownigger AKA Cia agent. No doubt in it

 β„–18944

also a color inverted glowie looks like quote

 β„–18953

Not CIA but likely MI6 (basically UK cia)



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 β„–18951[Reply]

It was the 29th of Yampy, that's 5 days ago now at the time of writing this to the /y/emper board. I was doing my moderator duties when I suddenly saw a report ticket. "KELP MOLLUSK IS HUNGRY. FEED.", and it was reporting a post made by Happysnackingdog, a user who, as you all know, stopped posting about the same time as this ticket. It was reporting his last ever post on the Yorsetalk forums. I entered a snout-chat with the "Jonkeylompser" user, asking him what was up and what he meant- mollusks used to be a very serious topic when Rage Mollusk (not gonna say his real name) landed on all 12 continents of earth during his invasion and reign- but this guy was trying to feed a mollusk? A kelp mollusk? I opened up the snout-chat saying "Hey buddy, what's up with you and this report?" and all he replied with was the same thing. "KELP MOLLUSK IS HUNGRY. FEED."; it was at this point that I thought it was just a stupid troll, taking up moderator time. Maybe a troll from http://yumpler.org or something. I wish I was right. I wish this was all a bad dream but no it's a horrible reality. It was a bit of back and forth for 7 minutes when he finally said something different. "C:/users/PleemthaPC/horsebox/HRSE_HACK.DLL". I immediately did windows+e to open file explorer- and it was there. When I opened the folder it ran the dll file and immediately images of rotting horses started appearing- and red text filled my monitor saying "THE DAY OF THE MOLLUSK IS SOON" as pictures of basque women being raped and impregnated by slugs and a so-called "slug king" that was apparently all over spanish news last week… I'll never forget what I saw that day. This continued for 23 minutes, I was frantic and afraid that I would lose the only images of my retarded cousin Cute Lillyphant Snorkling in Beirut, who died of Bema Fever in 2011. It was then that my PC shut off. I heard knocking on my cat-sized window that I use to lure cats into my room so I can rape them and throw them out after… I didn't answer… Whatever was on the other side said "OPEN. KELP MOLLUSK JANNISARY HERE."… I should have listened… I'm so sorry you guys. The dude broke my window… Clawed at my kneecaps with a meat hook except the handle was of a carved snail-cat. I was crippled and horrified. He started to recite Mollusk history in Greece and Anatolia for 8 hours even after I passed out (I watched CCTVPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 β„–18952

>>18951 (OP)
EDIT: I found the beagles who helped me. Skinned down to the bone on my driveway. A note beside them read "JONKEYLOMPSER, JANNISARY OF KELP MOLLUSK DID THIS TO THESE TRAITORS. YOU ALLOWED TO LIVE FOR NOW, BUT KELP MOLLUSK WILL RETURN FOR YOUR BASQUE SISTER.". I'm buying a gun tonight.



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 β„–18948[Reply]

Hello, teens. I am Nophono, the guy who cares fan about things. If you've seen any media related to Clamstaples, report it to me. I WILL deal with it…


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 β„–18850[Reply]

like 2 years ago i remember seeing some post online about sungazing so while on the bus ride home from school i stared at the sun in short 3-5 second burst multiple times. i dont know why. but i did.

when i woke up the next day my eyes burned and i ended up going to the eye doctor who prescribed me eye drops.

why do people shill sungazing if it literally just damages your eyes?

 β„–18860

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>like 2 years ago i remember seeing some post online about sungazing so while on the bus ride home from school i stared at the sun in short 3-5 second burst multiple times. i dont know why. but i did.
>
>when i woke up the next day my eyes burned and i ended up going to the eye doctor who prescribed me eye drops.
>
>why do people shill sungazing if it literally just damages your eyes?

 β„–18936

its fake
refer to sun worship

 β„–18938

ISHYGDDT.

 β„–18946

>>18850 (OP)
You're only supposed to do it at sunrise or sunset when the sun is visibly orange. It feels good.



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 β„–18776[Reply]

3 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 β„–18911

MY WORST WEEK STARTS NOW, NOT SCARED, FAGGOT

 β„–18926

File: ClipboardImage.png πŸ“₯︎ (43.13 KB, 255x233) ImgOps

Helln ah nigger I dont wanna get cursed by some nigga ass nigga shit

 β„–18932

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 β„–18934

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 β„–18942

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 β„–18943

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 β„–18939[Reply]

Welcome to this general!
>Editing and chudifying is fun!
Alright here's the text origin:i got it from an random mineshit video. So schizos! make it >A24 SLOWBURN SCHIZO!!!

Here's the actual text:

"@Joppio05 "I'm all for safety and authority to protect and I believe there to be ground rules and structure in order for a society to flourish"

That is the vector by which they use safety language to smuggle in authoritarian control. I hope you like bait because you've eaten more than a dinner's worth.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 β„–18940

Soyteens and schizo's
Go Up and copy this thing
Here's the copyable text

@Joppio05 "I'm all for safety and authority to protect and I believe there to be ground rules and structure in order for a society to flourish"

That is the vector by which they use safety language to smuggle in authoritarian control. I hope you like bait because you've eaten more than a dinner's worth.

"and as long as you're not doing anything illegal"

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.



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