It was the 29th of Yampy, that's 5 days ago now at the time of writing this to the /y/emper board. I was doing my moderator duties when I suddenly saw a report ticket. "KELP MOLLUSK IS HUNGRY. FEED.", and it was reporting a post made by Happysnackingdog, a user who, as you all know, stopped posting about the same time as this ticket. It was reporting his last ever post on the Yorsetalk forums. I entered a snout-chat with the "Jonkeylompser" user, asking him what was up and what he meant- mollusks used to be a very serious topic when Rage Mollusk (not gonna say his real name) landed on all 12 continents of earth during his invasion and reign- but this guy was trying to feed a mollusk? A kelp mollusk? I opened up the snout-chat saying "Hey buddy, what's up with you and this report?" and all he replied with was the same thing. "KELP MOLLUSK IS HUNGRY. FEED."; it was at this point that I thought it was just a stupid troll, taking up moderator time. Maybe a troll from
http://yumpler.org or something. I wish I was right. I wish this was all a bad dream but no it's a horrible reality. It was a bit of back and forth for 7 minutes when he finally said something different. "C:/users/PleemthaPC/horsebox/HRSE_HACK.DLL". I immediately did windows+e to open file explorer- and it was there. When I opened the folder it ran the dll file and immediately images of rotting horses started appearing- and red text filled my monitor saying "THE DAY OF THE MOLLUSK IS SOON" as pictures of basque women being raped and impregnated by slugs and a so-called "slug king" that was apparently all over spanish news last week… I'll never forget what I saw that day. This continued for 23 minutes, I was frantic and afraid that I would lose the only images of my retarded cousin Cute Lillyphant Snorkling in Beirut, who died of Bema Fever in 2011. It was then that my PC shut off. I heard knocking on my cat-sized window that I use to lure cats into my room so I can rape them and throw them out after… I didn't answer… Whatever was on the other side said "OPEN. KELP MOLLUSK JANNISARY HERE."… I should have listened… I'm so sorry you guys. The dude broke my window… Clawed at my kneecaps with a meat hook except the handle was of a carved snail-cat. I was crippled and horrified. He started to recite Mollusk history in Greece and Anatolia for 8 hours even after I passed out (I watched CCTV footage of my room and he was still there after I passed out doing it). I'm glad I know the difference between Slonkeyturks and Bimallenic Tribes now so I can be less dogcist but I'm still crippled. I woke up to a note and my hands and feet tied down to my floor… The note was being held up by a little beagle with his little doggy mouth and it read; "KELP MOLLUSK TOOK PLEASURE IN RAPING YOU BASQUE SISTER."… I won't go into detail but it wasn't lying. The CCTV footage is there. I sobbed for 5 days until the beagles rebelled and set me free. Then I hobbled to my PC and started writing. I saw a note on my desk too. It said… "KELP MOLLUSK COME FOR ALL WHO ON /Y/EMPER BOARD.". Whatever this thing is guys… I couldn't stop it. It's all up to you now. I don't know whats gonna happen to me now.