№14322778[Last 50 Posts][1][2][Quote]
You are Norman Jackson, a below average, relatively apolitical soyjak. You've had very few thoughts and feelings over the course of your past 35 years of existing, but you have recently decided to move up in the world, from being a fast food wagie to being a Soysylum staff member.
Your current goal is to travel to the Soysylum for your interview, but you are impeded by many things. The easiest way to get to the Soysylum is by the bus stop near the community college. Yet, many things impede you.
BEGIN
You wake up in your apartment. You are surrounded by doors you see daily: A closet, a bathroom, and a kitchen.
Appendix
Basic ruleset:
Characters have stats that affect their capabilities. S.P.E.C.I.A.L is borrowed from Fallout. However, it is modified/simplified.
You start as a Level 1 cuck. All your S.P.E.C.I.A.L stats start at 0.
You have an Insanity stat. Generally, positive things help this and negative things harm this.
Party limit of 4. You have to kick someone out upon overcount.
Floydian Magic.
№14322782[Quote]
shart yourself
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I shit myself, have breakfast then get up from bed
№14322797[Quote]
Go to the bathroom to lay a raisin.
№14322800[Quote]
Are you the same guy who made the Santa adventure last year?
№14322807[Quote]
can You give me the norman jackson just by himself please as a template thank you
№14322837[Quote]
>>14322782>>14322793You feel someone watching you and compelling your very actions. You try to fart but then it turns into a wet shart that ruins your pants. You feel embarrassed, losing insanity. You try having your hand for breakfast but it fails.
-6 Sanity
-1 HP
You consider going to the bathroom to mend yourself back into shape. fuggen jerdee
№14322853[Quote]
>>14322837go to the bus stop and wait for the bus but post about you shitting yourself on r/ageregression
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>>14322841thank you nigga
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My hecking battery died while making the next post o algx
№14323031[Quote]
Created an adventure thread while another was happening award
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>>14322837stop wasting time and go outside
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>>14323031happens often though
№14323045[Quote]
>>14322837Go to the bathroom to take a shower and clean yourself, will prob give sanity as well
№14323154[Quote]
>>14322853>>14323020>>14323040You blogpost about your sharting on preddit. +3 Sanity, received a Reddit Gold award.
You skip the kitchen and begin your first steps towards the bus stop. The path ahead is forboding, you know you'll encounter more enemies than friends.
You spot two folx of color. TJD, community leaders, master botanists. They wave at you, but only because you have purchased their plants before.
In the distance, you can see the evil highway that you will have to cross to get to the bus stop. An accurate mental map forms in your mind.
№14323156[Quote]
>>14323045this would be a useful action
№14323182[Quote]
>>14323154ignore the hp bars i messed them up
№14323221[Quote]
>>14323154You hear the news about a valid trans queen jumping off the st. Johns bridge
№14323283[Quote]
>>14323221Someone throws a TV outta their window. You hear of a suicide in Portland. Trans qxveen, REST IN POWER. You are devastated. -5 Sanity.
If post ends in evens, you gain a negative mental health perk.
№14323334[Quote]
>>14323318No way they're hiring our soyGQD ass with shit in the pants, go take a shower nigga
№14323355[Quote]
up
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>>14323334You won't tolerate future shame. Maybe you should've left your regressionfaggotry in your room and not in the sight of the kangs.
You take a nice shower, which washes your clothes and your body. You end up in the bathroom, feeling refreshed.
+5 Sanity
You want to take some pills before you return outside. Confidence pills seem attractive right now.
№14323455[Quote]
>>14323445mix some sproke incase you need it later
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>>14323445BVMP, should we rawdog it or take pills? award
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>>14323455>>14323445put the pills in sproke and down it in one go GEG
№14323484[Quote]
up
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BVMP
№14323543[Quote]
>>14323455>>14323458>>14323464>>14323467You prepare some 'roke in the big 'ug, then spill all the pills into it. You sense that many chemicals are reacting.
Roll:
Evens = You get a natural drink
Odds below 5 = it blows up, no meds or sproke for Norm
Other odds = it has a big downside
Dubs = It turns into a super drink
№14323569[Quote]
>>14323543im a nusoicaca, what does "evens" "odds" "dubs" mean?
№14323579[Quote]
>>14323569it's the last number or set of numbers in the post where the roll is included
№14323586[Quote]
>>>14323569 (You)
>it's the last number or set of numbers in the post where the roll is included
ok thanks soyspeakGQD
№14323718[Quote]
>>14323690Norman gains 15 XP somehow.
He can retry making the confidence pills in Sproke, or he can try something else.
№14323732[Quote]
>>14323718yell for help then fuggen jerdee
№14323830[Quote]
>>>14323690
>Norman gains 15 XP somehow.
>
>He can retry making the confidence pills in Sproke, or he can try something else.
Scavenge the fridge for Soylent so he can gain some hp back o algo
№14323918[Quote]
>>14323732>>14323830You yell for help. You also yell for some soylent.
Roll
If evens, TJD pull up and help
If most odds, combat encounter
If 9, the soylent truck arrives
№14323966[Quote]
>>>14323918
>roll
Fuck yeah soylent
№14324021[Quote]
Hey OP, your thread is gemmy so I added it to the Save The Bull website. that way you have a way of getting people easily caught up on the story. I'll be keeping it updated it as you continue
https://hansamsler.com/comic/soysylum-adventure/ №14324081[Quote]
>>14323949>>14323966>>14323918The TJD arrive and render assistance to Norman. They learned medical work by necessity, making them good doctors. They also give Norman some purple soylent.
Meanwhile, the Soylent truck pulls up.
<Shiet, we hear dat soylent truck! Thank the lawd! Let's get that shit! Norman, return tha favor, mane.They want you to get some of the soylent. Do you accept this quest of sorts?
№14324102[Quote]
>>14324021That's a nice project. I appreciate it.
№14324109[Quote]
>>14324081accept it because if we dont they will stab us o algo (eventhoughalbeit they will probably stab us even if we give them the soylent)
№14324177[Quote]
bvmp
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>>14324109>Right on it, gentlemen! Thanks for the heals!<No worries bro. We need a dozen.You mosey on to the outside again. You have to get to the bottom.
Roll
If odds, you get a combat encounter.
If 7 or 9, you clumsily fall, due to bad luck.
№14324214[Quote]
>>14324200A small purple cube falls from the sky
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>No negative outcome. Guess it's time to go down the stairs.
we should go to the goyslop stripmall to see if there is any soy in there, bring it back and then go back there to cross the street so we stay away from the evil retarded hobo park
№14324243[Quote]
>>14324215You reach the soylent truck. You have a hundred dollars. Do you purchase a dozen soylent bottles for twenty bucks, or do you try to steal them?
You also think that maybe you could go to the goyslop strip later for some Soybucks and MuttDonald's.
№14324262[Quote]
>>14324243Steal them and rush over to the niggers while screaming about how much of a "hood gangster african-american" you are and how you are just like the heckin' wholesome 100 bvlls
№14324342[Quote]
>>14324262>I'll buy them… sike!Norman reaches towards the back, but is he a proficient thief?
Roll
Evens, wrestling match, next roll
Odds, avoid wrestling, next roll
Digits, instant win
№14324400[Quote]
>>14324394throw a BBC dildo out of your pocket to distract him
№14324401[Quote]
>>>14324394
>throw a BBC dildo out of your pocket to distract him
GEG do this
№14324455[Quote]
>>14324400>>14324401You pull a BBC dildo out of your pocket. It definitely surprises him.
>You… you're fucking crazy! Get away from me, you freak!He's not pacified yet… do something.
№14324468[Quote]
>>14324455stuff the dildo in his mouth and scream "THIS IS FOR MY BVLL!"
№14324587[Quote]
>>14324468*SCHLORP*
<Hehehe! This… THIS IS FOR MY BVLLL!Roll
Evens, does physical damage
Odds, does psychological damage
Digits, instant win
№14324609[Quote]
>>14324587honestly if some fag put a dildo in my mouth i would instantly kill myself, this better do some good psycho damage
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>>14324633cmon normal just tank the fists, steal the soy and get tf outta there
№14324771[Quote]
>>14324729DAMN bro this might actually be the worst outcome, its over
№14324811[Quote]
>>1432478645 damage in total bro thats like half his hp, right?
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>>14324786Dr. Obsession Brimstein comes and gives the schizo meds
№14324834[Quote]
>>14324786watch care bears unlock the magic
№14324855[Quote]
>>14324821nah hes gonna have a schizo meltdown now and we can use that to our advantage, meds now are bad
№14324918[Quote]
>>14324811>>14324821>>14324834The flurry of punches sends Norman Jackson to the ground, but he can immediately recover. It was devastating, dealing 45 damage in one turn.
The schizo will be rambling to himself for two turns, or just enough time to grab the soy and run.
Or maybe Norman should forget the soy.
Whoever this schizo is, he'll be a dangerous enemy. Norman should also call the Soysylum. He has Dr. Brimstein's number, but he shouldn't call it until he at least has the soy and/or is running.
№14324924[Quote]
>>14324918use the care bear stare on him
№14324930[Quote]
Loop this janigger
№14324934[Quote]
>>14324918get as much soy as he can carry, if he gets more than a dozen he should drink the rest to heal up
№14324938[Quote]
>>>14324918
>use the care bear stare on him
nigga tf is the care bear stare
№14324989[Quote]
>>14324934You begin to loot the soy. At least a dozen.
Evens, successfully secure the dozen then a few
Odds, accidentally overload
Digits, find a cart that can haul 100 at once
№14324998[Quote]
>>14324989YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THE FIRST ONE
№14325006[Quote]
>>14324989drink it all and become superman
№14325058[Quote]
Norman gets overloaded.
>>14325006Roll
Evens, execute drinking action
Odds, negative outcome
Digits, get a zenkai boost or some shit
№14325065[Quote]
>>>14324989
>YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO THE FIRST ONE
nigger "care bear" is SNCA that nophono knows
№14325070[Quote]
>>14324984What happened to my beloved cars bears
Why are they all so selfish?
№14325083[Quote]
>>14325058now the marvel good guy beats the bad guy from the multiverse with the power of consumerism or something along those lines, yeah
№14325099[Quote]
>>14325006You frantically drink the soy, hoping it'll give you the energy to counteract the overload.
Evens, success
Most odds, failure
7 or 9, retry
Digits, zenkai boost
№14325166[Quote]
>>14325148>WAOW!!!!!!!throw one of the bottles at the schizos head at light speed or something like my heckin wholesome characters from that one show about superman but evil
№14325173[Quote]
>>14325148snopes and world economic forum told me that this will max his hp out instantly
№14325230[Quote]
we have to go to the soyslum doebeit
№14325267[Quote]
>>14325148OP WHERE IS YOU
№14325282[Quote]
>>14325267>>14325148op got 'aped by feraljak and died
№14325293[Quote]
>
>Norman has leveled up. He can enhance one of his stats. Which one?
gun sounds good but does it have limited ammo?
№14325295[Quote]
>>14325280norman should have the ability to fly
№14325299[Quote]
>>14325280kys fallout pedo
№14325317[Quote]
>>>14325280
>kys fallout pedo
ESL that cant read award fuggen jerdee
№14325322[Quote]
>>14325293agility makes norman better at using guns
№14325327[Quote]
>>14325280perception goodest so he can has better aiming
№14325334[Quote]
>>14325322shouldnt it improve his sneak skill doe?
№14325337[Quote]
>>>14325293 (You)
>agility makes norman better at using guns
so he doesnt get a gun? yeah luck is best since almost everything is based on rolls and were getting absolutely 'aped with our current luck
№14325383[Quote]
>>14325230yes but the current quest will help norman level up
№14325489[Quote]
JANNIES LQQP THIS
№14325591[Quote]
bump
№14325683[Quote]
>gemmy thread
'ki deserving adventure thread im trans btw
№14325684[Quote]
>>14325166>>14325173>>14325221>>14325280Norman's Luck stat increases by 1. His luck isn't great yet, but it's closer.
He gains a new perk:
Soylent Slurper
Drinking a Soylent gives Norman better damage odds for his next attack. (+1 to multiplier) It also gives his next attack slightly better odds of success.
In this zenkai State, he throws a bottle of soy at the Schizo Feral.
Roll
Any number above 4, zenkai enhances attack
Evens, attack hits
Odds, attack misses (or if zenkai applies, it compromises to a regular hit)
digits = schizo feral gets decapitated
№14325823[Quote]
The bottle throw does a whopping 36 damage to the Schizo Feral.
The Schizo Feral wasn't stunned, so he gets to attack.
>>14325745He executes a dropkick.
Roll
If odds above 3, you can evade and run away.
Otherwise, you are forced to fight.
№14325850[Quote]
have to fight the schizo feral
№14325930[Quote]
>>14325885give up and start gooning
№14326043[Quote]
>>14325951You get a heavy urge to masturbate to slopjaks, so you figure that running is the quickest way to get out of the coaly fight.
Roll
>5, success0,1,2 = get clothelined like a clittycel
digits = summon a doctor to deal with the schizo
№14326088[Quote]
Counter him
№14326149[Quote]
Your movement speed has been slowed for 3 turns, making evasion unfeasible.
>>14326088You attempt to counter by stomping on the Schizo Feral's head.
Roll
[last number]*3=damage
Evens = increased damage (minicrit, 1.5x)
odds = +stun
digits = critical
№14326176[Quote]
Try to break one of the ferals bones
№14326200[Quote]
Try to break one of the feral’s legs
№14326213[Quote]
>>14326192rip the head off the feral's body
№14326235[Quote]
>>14326192Try to choke him with unopened bottles of soy
№14326267[Quote]
>>14326192steal the truck and run him over
№14326281[Quote]
>>14326176>>14326200You limp towards Feral's legs, hoping to take some from him… his knee. You lift a soy bottle, then thrust it down towards his knee like an arrow…
Roll
Evens = effective
Odds = ineffective
Above 5 = sprains(ineff)breaks(eff)
damage=last number*2
№14326287[Quote]
>>14326281steal the truck and run him over
№14326297[Quote]
gem thread o algo
№14326380[Quote]
>>14326287The thrown bottle does 2 damage to the Feral Schizo.
<Fauci damnit…You try to get to the truck, but it's Feral's turn. He headbutts Norman's chest.
Roll
Evens = pushed over and stunned
Most Odds = grappled by Feral
1,3,digits = Norman basically ignores the attack and steals the truck
№14326460[Quote]
>>14326380Get hit then drink more soy
№14326521[Quote]
Try to counter
№14326610[Quote]
>>14326460>>14326521>>14326528Norman drinks a bottle of soy, then Feral swings at him, which Norman anticipates somewhat, so he tries to dodge.
Roll
4 or 6 = dodged
Other evens = hits Norman for [number]x2
odds = hits Norman for [number]x3]
digits = norman gets knocked out, concluding battle
№14326667[Quote]
>>14326610After drinking the soy and dodging kick feral in the balls
№14326697[Quote]
Try to rip feral’s dick off
№14326707[Quote]
>>14326672Punch ferals cock
№14326776[Quote]
>adventure thread
>hp bar
brim…
№14326826[Quote]
>>adventure thread
>>hp bar
>brim…
Nusoicucks can't even bait anymore
№14327267[Quote]
Up
№14328201[Quote]
Bump
№14328269[Quote]
up, jannies lqqp this thread
№14328576[Quote]
rise
№14329270[Quote]
bump