â„–14416203[Last 50 Posts][1][2][Quote]
On a journey for self-fulfillment, Norman Jackson has set his sights on the prestige of working at the Soysylum. On the day of his interview, he went on a perilous adventure back in his home town, and fought against various evils. He also made a few friends along the way. Three of which are with him, while traveling by bus, to his destination.
BEGIN
Norman Jackson gets off the bus, along with Ernest the Hobo, Daquarius the TJD Medic, and Muttphono McDroid.
You are now in the downtown area. The main building of importance is the Soysylum Office, where your interview will be conducted. The fact that you made the Muttdroid is very promising, proving yourself to be a good soyentist and combatant.
The other building of importance is the Gun Store, where you can get better, gemmier guns, and some very gemmy attachments that modify your guns behavior. You are too broke currently thoughever, only having a combined $200 that might get a cheap shotgun or another coal Saturday Night Special.
Appendix
Basic ruleset:
Characters have stats that affect their capabilities. S.P.E.C.I.A.L is borrowed from Fallout. However, it is modified/simplified.
You start as a Level 1 cuck. All your S.P.E.C.I.A.L stats start at 0. Norman has leveled up to Level 11, making him less coal.
You have an Insanity stat. Generally, positive things help this and negative things harm this.
Party limit of 4. You have to kick someone out upon overcount.
Floydian Magic.
Norman's SPECIAL Stats: S: 0 P: 1 E: 0 C: 1 I: 4 A: 1 L: 3
â„–14416342[Quote]
>>14416203 (OP)You head towards the office
â„–14416440[Quote]
>>14416342You enter the unmarked Soysylum office.
Dr. Obsession Brimstein greets you.
>Hola mi interviewees. Vamos.You enter the room. There is a Niggerbabble Translator 3000, which works both ways and expedites the interview process.
^Sorry for the translator. It was installed by racist white people, who kept calling me an ESL. â„–14416457[Quote]
OH. MY. FAUCI!!!!! ALREADY LEAKING MY XEO-CLITTY TO XHIS!!!!
â„–14416823[Quote]
Agent so we can Kikemax
â„–14417079[Quote]
>>14416744bump, please voote
â„–14417280[Quote]
5 minutes
â„–14417328[Quote]
>>14416744agent seems good. would vote but my ip got changed since last thread.
â„–14417441[Quote]
>>14417328>>14416823>>14416744>>14416826Class Selected: AgentYou may access the Agent Market at any time, given that you're in good standing and employed at Soysylum…
You don a variation of your work clothes.
^Good choice. I can already tell you'll be out and about, doing missions. Anyways, any questions before we proceed? â„–14417678[Quote]
>>14417441what the heckin' heck are my salary and bonuses? do i get dental?
â„–14417882[Quote]
>>14417678>I have a question: How much do I get paid… more importantly, do I get free dental?^Yes, you get free dental. You also get a 401K, insurance, etc. You receive a daily wage of $100 - I mean $125. Most of the money you make will be from missions. We have a sign-on bonus of $625, which you may receive immediately.^Anyways, welcome to the Soysylum. We have a company taxi that can take you to the main site, or to the gun store.You now have $825.
Although you have the Agent Market, the Gun Store has some lower quality, cheaper, citizen-legal weapons. Otherwise, you can save your money for later and go to the Soysylum now.
â„–14418128[Quote]
fighting cattywipe
â„–14418242[Quote]
bump
â„–14418292[Quote]
>>14417882Ask him about the missions, specifically who is gonna give you your missions and when can you start doing them
â„–14418842[Quote]
>>14418292
>>14418294You ask Brimstein who will pay you.
^It is all automated. You may talk to the site administrator about your pay, but he's a hard man to persuade! By the way, this man is not called Dr. Soystein. He is a different man.+600 XP (500+100 from 4 INT)
Leveled up twice!Vote for two stats to enhance. Top 2 will win, or we'll have a random tiebreaker.
You visit the gun store. The 1 Charisma gives you a small barter-borne discount. This'll be applied after purchasing a civilian-legal firearm.
You also have 2 Browning Hi-Powers in your inventory. This should sell for 25% of the purchase price (50 dollars), if you choose to do so.
â„–14418903[Quote]
Playing CK3 with friends tonight so I can't join in for the time being but it was gemmy!
â„–14418929[Quote]
>>14418903cool have a great night
â„–14419008[Quote]
note that it's multiple choice - you can vote for as many as you'd like
â„–14419027[Quote]
>>14418842buy eight revolvers because you so someone in a move once somehow hold 8 guns at the same time for more fire power. you went to university afterall right?
â„–14419118[Quote]
>>14419027this has a chance of working somehow but it'll be just as likely to screw the party over
if evens, ill accept the prompt…
â„–14419305[Quote]
>>14419261go outside and find something
â„–14419372[Quote]
>>14419348Is there anything we can do rn apart from getting a quest?
â„–14419572[Quote]
>>14419372not really for now besides doing sandbox stuff
â„–14419618[Quote]
>>14418292misunderstood the prompt. missions are done in a special room in the soysylum.
â„–14419687[Quote]
>>14419348ask ernest if he wants a gun or knows how to use one. also check what amerimutt uses as a weapon
â„–14419880[Quote]
>>14419687You hand Ernest one of the Brownings.
>Thanks, boss. I'm not sure if I really should, but thanks…You check Muttphono's weapons. He presents a 6 foot long tentacle, which is a vestige of Nophono's torso.
He says
<Give me gun or something.Ernest says
>Hey, Norman. Do you mind if the Muttdroid has this thing? I prefer melee weapons. â„–14420047[Quote]
>>14419880geg forgot to give objective yeah give the gun to mutt instead
â„–14420267[Quote]
>>14419880Ernest does not need a gun
â„–14420427[Quote]
>>14420047>>14420267You give the Muttdroid the gun.
<This is what freedom looks like, yeah.Brimstein says
>Eh gringos let's vamo to the asoylum o algo.You also spot a gym and the shart mart if you want to ruin somebody's day or some shiet, or you can stick to the plan.
â„–14420878[Quote]
>>14420495You go to the Gym. You don't feel inclined to train here. It probably won't help your stats due to how the XP and leveling works.
A peculiar man motions to you.
>Hey, you guys doing a tour?It's Etan Sreggih, the estranged brother of Nate Higgers. He SHOULD be in New York City. What is he doing in this podunk?
â„–14420917[Quote]
>>14420878ask him what hes doing
â„–14420921[Quote]
>>14420878we ask etan what hes doing he tells us hes here to pick up his estranger brother nate higgers from the asylum his parents sent him there 1 months ago because he wouldnt stop talking about something called "Jarde" and kept talking about discord something called a esl fnf pedo and "splinters"
â„–14420934[Quote]
>>14420878Ask him what he's doing here and bring up that he should be in New York
â„–14420944[Quote]
>>14420921kys nigger you arent making the story but OP is
â„–14420954[Quote]
>>14420921>>14420495good prompts because they lead somewhere and aren't just forcing something then dipping next minute
â„–14420970[Quote]
>>14420954its setting up for a another character join the party on their journey to the asylum with a clear established motive or however the fries are made
â„–14420990[Quote]
>>14420878notice how the mirror isnt reflecting anything and it could be a portal to another reality
â„–14421102[Quote]
>>14420917>>14420921>>14420934>>14420990You ask Etan why he's here, and not in New York.
>It's a personal matter. You know about the local facility?^es el soysylum? we trabajo at there no mame guey tell us about please!>Well, anyway, my brother's locked in there. My family told me to pick him up because he doesn't have a car. It turns out they have to do massive amounts of paper work! I rented a trailer and I'm working out. I don't really like this town. Can you all resolve this for me? Thanks!You hyperfocus on the mirror, and how bizarre it looks… It's reflecting things incorrectly. You think that you can jump through it. The intrusive thoughts take ahold.
â„–14421112[Quote]
>>14421102try jumping through it hope it doesnt just shatter and you have to pay for the gym window
â„–14421117[Quote]
>>14421102Ask about the mirror
â„–14421125[Quote]
>>14421117dont ask. jump.
â„–14421138[Quote]
>>14421125What if something bad happens o algo
â„–14421152[Quote]
>>14421138there wont, it will be a mirror like in retro mario! just like how he jumps into paintings and mirrors to go into new worlds! thats heckin cool and nothing bad can happen!
â„–14421157[Quote]
>>14421117Ask about the jager instead
â„–14421159[Quote]
>>14421152his sanity is gonna go down
â„–14421166[Quote]
>>14421159ermmm… how would being able to live like mario in my heckin' bing bing wahoo consoles bring sanity down exactly? it should bring it up to be honest!
â„–14421176[Quote]
>>14421166MY LIFE IS LIKE A HECKIN VIDEO GAME AWESOMERINO
â„–14421467[Quote]
>>14421112>>14421117>>14421125>>14421138>>14421152>>14421159>>14421166>>14421176You ask about the mirror, taking a few steps towards it.
<It's a perfectly normal mirror, Norman!>No. It. Isn't!Norman sprints towards the mirror and dropkicks it……
Rolling
Evens above 5 = it reveals something sinister
Odds above 5 = it reveals something paranormal and sinister
Digits = you wrap around the screen
otherwise, roll the mirror's integrity…
â„–14421563[Quote]
.
â„–14421572[Quote]
>>14421467ITS JUST LIKE MY HECKIN LOVECRAFTIAN HORROR
â„–14421649[Quote]
>>14421626SAY od u fi tnelyos eerf uoy evig lliw ew ?esaelp yduts rof su htiw emoc uoy fo eno nac mmu ti naem tndid i yrros mi
â„–14421752[Quote]
>>14421649Norman tries his best to negotiate with them…
>od u fi tnelyos eerf uoy evig lliw ew ?esaelp yduts rof su htiw emoc uoy fo eno nac mmu ti naem tndid i yrros miThat is, he apologizes and offers them soylent, if one of them volunteers, in their chiral English.
rolling (low charisma)
if evens, except 4, they relent
if 5 or 7, they relent
if above 4, except for 9, they agree
â„–14421825[Quote]
i didn't fvckine supersage
â„–14421856[Quote]
try talking to them again
?yrutnec ts12 evissergorp eht ni su fo tser eht nioj naht sduhc lecni nahc4 live eb rehtar uoy dluow cibohpomoh dna cibohpsnart ,tsicar yrev si ymonotua dna modeerf tub hgU im trans btw
â„–14421864[Quote]
>>14421856raped by nameroll so we get negative charisma geg
â„–14421945[Quote]
>>14421856You attempt to win them over using some fallacy or some shiet:
>wtb snart mi ?yrutnec ts12 evissergorp eht ni su fo tser eht nioj naht sduhc lecni nahc4 live eb rehtar uoy dluow cibohpomoh dna cibohpsnart ,tsicar yrev si ymonotua dna modeerf tub hgURolling
Evens or digits = they don't want to be teansphobic racist 4chin incels so they take the va-i mean haul themselves off to the Soysylum
below 6 = you accidentally lose 50 sanity by speaking too much of their language
descending numbers = norman goes schizo but they do haul themselves off
â„–14421968[Quote]
>descending numbers
marge? so something like 54 would have triggered it?
â„–14422015[Quote]
>>14421968also we have high int and isnt there something in fallout where you can avoid being brainwashed or psychologically affected if you have high int? i never played it i only played stalker since its a whiter game with Monolith
â„–14422018[Quote]
>>14421968that would but it's 45
â„–14422027[Quote]
>>14422015i played some fallout and never encountered that but in this adventure high int does increase the sanity cap
â„–14422071[Quote]
>>14422054We should just let Brimstein deal with them making him unaviable for a while. Norman does some sets in the gym to try and increase hie STR stat then he leaves for the asylum
â„–14422080[Quote]
>>14422054since you are using logical fallacies anyway, appeal to power by showing off what your guns can do by firing off an octowield series of shot at the ceiling or something
â„–14422482[Quote]
bumo
â„–14422494[Quote]
how is this on page 1
â„–14422507[Quote]
>>14422080>>14422071>>14422080>>14422071Norman smirks.
>Oh, well. Even if it doesn't make you transphobic… You should listen to me anyways, because, well…<?gniyas ognirg ese se ftw¿BOOM!
>Look at my volley of rounds! I have the appeal to power, baby!Evens, except 8 = they are scared off
odds, except 9 = they attack
digits, 8 or 9, they go to the soysolum out of fear
â„–14422618[Quote]
>>14422507smugly say "bet you feel heckin' scared now, huh?"
â„–14422800[Quote]
>>14422618it was an odd number unfortunately
â„–14422839[Quote]
shiet forgot to nigg the insanity and flip the screen o algo
â„–14422884[Quote]
>>14422777use octowield to beat them with your pistol grip so you dont really kill them. yell out "WERE NOT TRAPPED IN HERE WITH YOU, YOURE TRAPPED IN HERE WITH US!" in your soyrage from them selfishly attacking you first without telegraphing their attack like decent human beings
â„–14423015[Quote]
>>14422884You yell
>WE'RE NOT TRAPPED IN HERE WITH YOU, YOU'RE TRAPPED IN HERE WITH US!With all your might, then whip them with the power of 8 pistol whips. Non-lethal. :)
Rolling (low strength but 8 pistol whips)
[post number] * 2 * 8 = damage
evens or 5 = +stun
8,9,digits = +knockout
â„–14423491[Quote]
>>14423476wait only one is attacking i copy pasted like a lazy nigger
â„–14423559[Quote]
>>14423539HE CANT HECKIN HURT ERNEST. TACKLE HIM AND TRY TO TELL EVERYONE TO JUMP ON HIM SO HE GETS FLATTENED.
â„–14423654[Quote]
>>14423559Norman yells
>You can mess with me, but don't mess with Ernest! PMUJ NO SIHT RECKUFREMOTH!He accidentally butchers the reverse chiro speech command.
Rolling
Evens or digits = everyone understands, party dogpiles the scumbag
â„–14423761[Quote]
>>14423734marge? didnt you say there was only 1 left that wasnt knocked out and we just crushed him? award
â„–14423791[Quote]
>>14423761Muttphono pinned down one of them. The previous "last remaining" is the "only one who could attack"
â„–14423849[Quote]
>>14423839if we attack them for no reason, then we are no worse than them…. STOP THE VIOLENCE
â„–14423937[Quote]
>>14423849You tell Muttphono:
>.meht naht retteb on era ew, doolb dloc ni ,siht ekil mix etucexe uoy fIHe releases the chiral.
The Chiral says
>Thank you…You suppose that all the Chiral are neutralized in one way or the other. You're still faced with the problem of having a language barrier… How do you proceed?
â„–14424030[Quote]
>>14423937Pull out your phone to easily translate what the Chiral say o algo
â„–14424112[Quote]
>>14424030the problem isn't communicating with the chiral people, it's communicating with regular people, because your main language you speak and hear is reverse English right now.
â„–14424122[Quote]
>>14424112Marge I just got back, what the fuck happened since i've been gone?
â„–14424153[Quote]
>>14424122Jumping in the mirror revealed that it was a really a pocket dimension controlled by chiral people. Players tried to reason with them, but this causes Norman's language to get screwed up. Then, the party was forced to fight the chiral. We're currently in the aftermath of that.
â„–14424159[Quote]
>>14424153Oh, yeah I got no clue what to do then geg
â„–14424184[Quote]
>>14424159it should be temporary like when norman gained weight but curing it makes things easier
â„–14424198[Quote]
>>14423937we need meds NOW.
â„–14424289[Quote]
>>14424198Norman calmly explains in reverse (from his perspective) that he needs to take some meds.
Obsession Brimstein gives him meds. +25 sanity
Rolling (not the intended solution)
Digits, evens, except 4 or 8 = the meds work
1,5,9 = the duration of the issue is shortened, similar effects are to be expected from subsequent meds
â„–14424370[Quote]
>>14424360What's in our inventory?
â„–14424421[Quote]
>>14424370You check your party's inventory.
It does not have meds, only Brimstein, who isn't in the party.
You have:
>Goyslop>2 Browning Hi-Powers>8 SNS Revolvers (octowield)>Drugs, opioid painkiller>Pipebomb â„–14424432[Quote]
>>14424421Try the opioid painkiller
â„–14424578[Quote]
>>14424432Norman takes the Opioid painkiller, which is different from meds.
+2 Endurance +25 armor +25 health (only the health boost is permanent, the rest lasts 5 turns) +10 sanity
Rolling (not the intended solution, less likely to treat psychological issues)
5,9,digits=painkillers cure the condition
1,3=you get addicted
â„–14424669[Quote]
>>14424644use the fact that you still like one of them to your advantage by interrogating the one you had spared, and inform him of your language problem situation
â„–14424671[Quote]
>>14424669still talk like one of them*
â„–14424703[Quote]
>>14424644Dual wield you hi-powers (and break your hands in the process)
â„–14424863[Quote]
>>14424669>>14424671You begin to interrogate the only conscious Chiral person about your condition.
>Okay, so we've established that you speak in reverse, and that trying to speak your reverse language gives me this disease… but how do I cure it?Rolling
If evens, he reveals the intended solution, due to the epic soyence the chiral people do or something
â„–14425024[Quote]
>>14424703they're 9mm and norman is already quadwielding like a giga