β15601917[Quote]
i went to a sonic once and i got served by this rude niggress who obviously didnt give a shit about her job, she just had this sass about everything she was also laughing to her other niggress coworkers.
Food came out sloppy, chowed down the meal then got up and went to the bathroom, took a ton of tissues from the dispenser and i created this pad / mitten which i shat into, using this pad, i then smeared the shit all over the walls of the cubicle, and some on the door and mirror. I then left the bathroom quickly, ran up to the counter and told them to check the mens bathroom, then i sprinted out of that place at fucking lightning speed
Havent returned since, but whenever i walk / drive past it i get this horrible feeling that they will recognize me and hurt me
β15601932[Quote]
>>15601917gegg giga behavior
β15601937[Quote]
changed the wallpaper of a library computer to porn
β15601954[Quote]
>>15600930 (OP)lied to myself, friends and family
β15601967[Quote]
Holy shit please post more poopy stories theyβre so fucking funny
β15601976[Quote]
Gooned to a gay incest anime porn comic
β15601980[Quote]
gooned to crystal cafe femjak dominating a soyteen
β15601991[Quote]
gooned to mlp porn
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>>15602000Based and redpilled
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>>15602000nusoicacas are motherfuckers
β15602083[Quote]
>>15600930 (OP)Look at the stories in this thread
β15602102[Quote]
i killed an entire family of 4 then went on a rampage and killed 10 more people and then i robbed a bank and then i set fire to someones house then i killed 5 cops in a shootout before being taken into custody now im posting this from jail with a phone i smuggled in
β15602257[Quote]
salvia though
β15602297[Quote]
when i was 13 i used to ride bikes through this small forest with my friends. one day we came across a tent in the middle of this forest and it empty, but it smelt awful and it was obviously the abode of some homeless guy
being 13 year old me, i hated the homeless so i got in his tent and took a shit directly ontop of his sleeping bag. got out the tent and rode-off, i was nervous the entire time but a mixture of peer pressure and hatred towards to homeless made me do it
β15602404[Quote]
I murdered someone and got away with it
β15602460[Quote]
one time i shat on a piece of tissue, picked through the shit with my bear hands and i picked out every single individual piece of peanut in my pile of shit. put the de-peanutted shit in the toilet and flushed, then i took the shit peanuts, rinsed them in water to get the shit off and i put them all on a platter, then i washed my hands
i tried one and it tastes like shit as expected, but i wanted to do an experiment to see if people could tolerate the taste of shit if they thought the shit they were tasting was actually just a unique expensive flavouring / something cultural that they just dont understand because they are white.
went out in public with these nuts on the platter in a busy high-street, and i gave them out as samples. I told people that they were specially grown in persia, and that they are limited and expensive, but a popular delicacy in certain regions. Pretty much everyone bought the story and i ended up having alot of people interested, which freaked me out because i would get lynched if someone realized.
people ended up pulling a face, but given the "backstory" they described the flavour as unique, and quite a few said they would buy some if they were on offer. It just goes to show how much bullshit (no pun intended) people will put up with if they are told that the bullshit in question is an ancient cultural tradition that must be respected. People are fucking retarded.
β15602472[Quote]
>one time i shat on a piece of tissue, picked through the shit with my bear hands and i picked out every single individual piece of peanut in my pile of shit. put the de-peanutted shit in the toilet and flushed, then i took the shit peanuts, rinsed them in water to get the shit off and i put them all on a platter, then i washed my hands
>
>i tried one and it tastes like shit as expected, but i wanted to do an experiment to see if people could tolerate the taste of shit if they thought the shit they were tasting was actually just a unique expensive flavouring / something cultural that they just dont understand because they are white.
>
>went out in public with these nuts on the platter in a busy high-street, and i gave them out as samples. I told people that they were specially grown in persia, and that they are limited and expensive, but a popular delicacy in certain regions. Pretty much everyone bought the story and i ended up having alot of people interested, which freaked me out because i would get lynched if someone realized.
>
>people ended up pulling a face, but given the "backstory" they described the flavour as unique, and quite a few said they would buy some if they were on offer. It just goes to show how much bullshit (no pun intended) people will put up with if they are told that the bullshit in question is an ancient cultural tradition that must be respected. People are fucking retarded.
β15602476[Quote]
>>15602460holy shit nigga
β15602490[Quote]
>one time i shat on a piece of tissue, picked through the shit with my bear hands and i picked out every single individual piece of peanut in my pile of shit. put the de-peanutted shit in the toilet and flushed, then i took the shit peanuts, rinsed them in water to get the shit off and i put them all on a platter, then i washed my hands
<
>i tried one and it tastes like shit as expected, but i wanted to do an experiment to see if people could tolerate the taste of shit if they thought the shit they were tasting was actually just a unique expensive flavouring / something cultural that they just dont understand because they are white.
<
>went out in public with these nuts on the platter in a busy high-street, and i gave them out as samples. I told people that they were specially grown in persia, and that they are limited and expensive, but a popular delicacy in certain regions. Pretty much everyone bought the story and i ended up having alot of people interested, which freaked me out because i would get lynched if someone realized.
<
>people ended up pulling a face, but given the "backstory" they described the flavour as unique, and quite a few said they would buy some if they were on offer. It just goes to show how much bullshit (no pun intended) people will put up with if they are told that the bullshit in question is an ancient cultural tradition that must be respected. People are fucking retarded.
β15602495[Quote]
>>15600930 (OP)So in the army when we're training on AT-4s, which is a type of rocket launcher that we use against vehicles and whatever, we don't actually use normal live rockets. What we use instead is 9mm tracer rounds, which are inserted into a modified version of the launching tube. However they calculated it, the 9mm tracer travels in the same trajectory and speed as the normal rocket, so it's good for training or whatever.
<reddit spaceAnyway so we were doing a field training exercise in a big fuckoff forest in the middle of Georgia. It was summer too so really really hot, lots of overgrowth in most places, it sucked. The day before I was the RTO and that day I was saddled with the AT-4 so I was sorta irritated that I was always lugging some big retarded piece of gear.
<army spaceSo anyway we're pushing through this treeline doing a movement to contact with another squad, and right off the bat things are already going sideways because immediately this retarded Hispanic ND's the 240 into the dirt maybe thirty feet from the patrol base. Just absolutely rips off like four or five rounds into the ground for no reason. Everyone hits the deck because we think we're under fire by opfor and the kid is just standing there holding this machine gun looking genuinely confused about what happened, like the weapon did it on its own. So we have to radio to TOC about that and it's already embarrassing and a pain in the ass but whatever, we eventually get moving again.
<retard spaceThe other squad we were supposed to coordinate this whole maneuver with had an RTO who was this blak chick who had absolutely no idea how to use a radio. No radio etiquette whatsoever, she would just key up and start talking in full conversational sentences. "Hey ummmmm yeah so uh like we're at the wood line" *beep* "oh um over" *beep*. By buddy was RTO for our squad and he was losing his mind every time she keyed up because she was making it impossible to coordinate literally anything. Like it's genuinely fucking up our coordination.
<ESL spcaeSo we're pushing out of the treeline into this big open field area to set up a support by fire position and it is absolutely baking out there. Like the grass is basically straw it's so dry, and there's basically no cover or concealment, the sun is just hammering down on everything. This is where I'm supposed to wait to engage a simulated vehicle with the AT-4. I get into position, do my checks, and then when we start taking fire and it's my time to shine I fire the thing, and the 9mm tracer goes downrange perfectly into the designated non-flammable sandy impact zone, and immediately I watch it skip off something and disappear into this dry grass patch maybe two hundred meters out.
<notproperlyspacedspaceWithin like fifty seconds there is a very visible and very real fire going. Not like a little smoke situation. An actual fire that starts spreading laterally because there's a light wind and everything out there is bone dry. I said absolutely nothing. I just slowly lowered the tube and looked around to make sure nobody who I'm not like tight tight with saw where it came from. Everyone just started yelling about the fire and within a few minutes it's gotten big enough that cadre are getting on their own radios.
β15602498[Quote]
Right in the middle of all this we start taking fire from the opfor because the cadre are pissed and when they're pissed they basically start shooting at us or dropping artillery on us usually. We actually do a solid job of engaging them though so we don't really have to fuckoff. Right after this the blak girl in the other squad keys up on the radio and says they took casualties. No nineline or anything, just that they took casualties. So naturally we assume it's a simulated casualty, their aid and litter team is supposed to move to them and treat it notionally while we continue the mission. We radio back asking for status and she just says "he's on the ground." Okay. We figure their team has it.
<ecaps sdrowkcab
Fifteen minutes go by. The fire is now legitimately out of control and people are starting to talk about calling the whole thing. Then the blak chick gets back on the radio again and asks when the ambulance will be here and we're like Marge??? So we ask her to clarify what the fuck she means and we learn that one of their guys had stepped in a hole wrong coming down a slope and snapped his leg and it like bent backwards a little above the ankle. He had been laying out there for fifteen minutes because nobody understood from her transmission that it was a real casualty. They had to get a humvee out to extract him.
<br ok en sp ac e
Problem being the normal path for the humvee was blocked by the bushfire, and so they start driving that way only to get a radio call from TOC like halfway there to turn around and find a new route, because I guess they had the drone guys getting imagery from there by then, and so they had to reroute and it took them like nearly an hour to reach the guy, who was in genuinely agonizing pain. The other squad was like almost a click from us and I could pretty clearly hear the dude crying and yelling. Not that I blame him.
<space: the final frontier
Within a few hours the training area fire shut the entire FTX down and we left early to get chewed out for being fuckups basically. The fire investigation apparently went nowhere. Nobody ever figured out what started it, and I'm never going to tell them mostly because I don't want that one dude to know I'm halfway the reason why he had to sit in pain with a broken leg for over an hour. though
β15602511[Quote]
>one time i shat on a piece of tissue, picked through the shit with my bear hands and i picked out every single individual piece of peanut in my pile of shit. put the de-peanutted shit in the toilet and flushed, then i took the shit peanuts, rinsed them in water to get the shit off and i put them all on a platter, then i washed my hands
>
>i tried one and it tastes like shit as expected, but i wanted to do an experiment to see if people could tolerate the taste of shit if they thought the shit they were tasting was actually just a unique expensive flavouring / something cultural that they just dont understand because they are white.
>
>went out in public with these nuts on the platter in a busy high-street, and i gave them out as samples. I told people that they were specially grown in persia, and that they are limited and expensive, but a popular delicacy in certain regions. Pretty much everyone bought the story and i ended up having alot of people interested, which freaked me out because i would get lynched if someone realized.
>
>people ended up pulling a face, but given the "backstory" they described the flavour as unique, and quite a few said they would buy some if they were on offer. It just goes to show how much bullshit (no pun intended) people will put up with if they are told that the bullshit in question is an ancient cultural tradition that must be respected. People are fucking retarded.
β15602529[Quote]
>>>15600930 (OP)
>So in the army when we're training on AT-4s, which is a type of rocket launcher that we use against vehicles and whatever, we don't actually use normal live rockets. What we use instead is 9mm tracer rounds, which are inserted into a modified version of the launching tube. However they calculated it, the 9mm tracer travels in the same trajectory and speed as the normal rocket, so it's good for training or whatever.
><reddit space
>Anyway so we were doing a field training exercise in a big fuckoff forest in the middle of Georgia. It was summer too so really really hot, lots of overgrowth in most places, it sucked. The day before I was the RTO and that day I was saddled with the AT-4 so I was sorta irritated that I was always lugging some big retarded piece of gear.
><army space
>So anyway we're pushing through this treeline doing a movement to contact with another squad, and right off the bat things are already going sideways because immediately this retarded Hispanic ND's the 240 into the dirt maybe thirty feet from the patrol base. Just absolutely rips off like four or five rounds into the ground for no reason. Everyone hits the deck because we think we're under fire by opfor and the kid is just standing there holding this machine gun looking genuinely confused about what happened, like the weapon did it on its own. So we have to radio to TOC about that and it's already embarrassing and a pain in the ass but whatever, we eventually get moving again.
><retard space
>The other squad we were supposed to coordinate this whole maneuver with had an RTO who was this blak chick who had absolutely no idea how to use a radio. No radio etiquette whatsoever, she would just key up and start talking in full conversational sentences. "Hey ummmmm yeah so uh like we're at the wood line" *beep* "oh um over" *beep*. By buddy was RTO for our squad and he was losing his mind every time she keyed up because she was making it impossible to coordinate literally anything. Like it's genuinely fucking up our coordination.
><ESL spcae
>So we're pushing out of the treeline into this big open field area to set up a support by fire position and it is absolutely baking out there. Like the grass is basically straw it's so dry, and there's basically no cover or concealment, the sun is just hammering down on everything. This is where I'm supposed to wait to engage a simulated vehicle with the AT-4. I get into position, do my checks, and then when we start taking fire and it's my time to shine I fire the thing, and the 9mm tracer goes downrange perfectly into the designated non-flammable sandy impact zone, and immediately I watch it skip off something and disappear into this dry grass patch maybe two hundred meters out.
><notproperlyspacedspace
>Within like fifty seconds there is a very visible and very real fire going. Not like a little smoke situation. An actual fire that starts spreading laterally because there's a light wind and everything out there is bone dry. I said absolutely nothing. I just slowly lowered the tube and looked around to make sure nobody who I'm not like tight tight with saw where it came from. Everyone just started yelling about the fire and within a few minutes it's gotten big enough that cadre are getting on their own radios.
β15602582[Quote]
>>15602460sentient nameroll
β15602604[Quote]
>>15602495><ESL spcaeout of everything this actually made me geg
β15602914[Quote]
>>15602102I do this, say this and look like this
β15602935[Quote]
>>15600930 (OP)sent a grandma to the hospital because of emotional stress, not too bad I believe
β15603013[Quote]
>>15602495>feds actually posting their life story on hereabsolutely haunted timeline dni or something
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>>15603013>timelineyou have to go BACK
β15603184[Quote]
>>15602026did your friend turn out okay? is he not mindraped by that experience?
β15603206[Quote]
>>15603184not at all thankfully