№97829[Quote]
use your willpower to train your brain to stop being an faggot. start ideating about being a normal guy and fantasizing about living a normal life. whenever you think your thoughts put effort into thinking in a lower octave or whatever, do this by overwriting the thought you just had with a new one in a lower tone until it becomes automatic .otherwise basically just do all the shit you did as a kid but with a different desired outcome in mind
№97831[Quote]
I had similar fantasies and familial circumstances as yours, but in relation to fantasies they were not related to ralsei, deltarune, furries, etc.
What worked for me is becoming religious and generally look at the example of what did the object of worship would do.
If I'd be explicit, in my case I became a Christian, and looked at the example of Jesus Christ, who both were gentle with people who wronged him, but wasn't a doormat either and was firm.
Though, religion isn't the only way, but it's a VERY good one. You aren't being forced into being religious to solve this. It's just something that worked for me because God was my own example of how a man should act.
Masculinity isn't about being a buff nigger who rapes and kills everyone who says mean things about you, and Masculinity isn't about pampering to everyone's wishes either. It's about a balance between being tender and gentle when you have to be like this, and being strong and protective when you have to be that.
Don't be pantied and sissified basically, if you're not going to be religious, just don't be pantied and sissified like ralsei is.
Put effort into developing masculine hobbies if you like any. I like blacksmithing for example, if you like tinkering, craftsmanship, or even farming - Give it a try.
Be patient, be unbothered.
Don't be soy.
№97833[Quote]
>>97831I do want to clarify I have avoided deltarune and any kind of "soy" media in general for a long time while I was trying to fix this problem alone however I realized I should start seeking help when I had a dream where I woke up older with chest hair and a more masculine build and I felt a very deep depressing sense of loss and grief during it. Loss of youth for some reason really terrifies me and each passing year I keep getting the urge to just kill myself so I don't ever have to be old and ugly.
№97834[Quote]
>>97829So what your saying is I should start manually thinking out the words with a normal voice to overwrite the squeaky one?
№97836[Quote]
>>97834yeah. just repeat your thoughts in the desired voice as soon as you have them, and identify yourself with the new voice instead of the old one
№97837[Quote]
>>97833I didn't want to be masculine physically, as in appearance.
Very similarly to you, I actually wanted to look like a young man without facial hair, or chest hair, or really anything.
You have to look at masculinity as something that isn't related to being pretty. A man doesn't have to look pretty, because A man's masculinity and value isn't determined by his appearance, but by his works.
You can stay skinny, you can become buff.
You can be hairy old wizard-looking man, or you can be hairless. Really, it's up to you, but you should eventually accept the fact that you cannot stay young forever, and eventually more feminine features will fade away as you become old, and it's okay, in fact,
That's good.At first it may be difficult, and you'll probably struggle with the same suicidal thoughts, but you shouldn't kill yourself, because suicide doesn't lead to you being more of a man, it doesn't lead to better future, and it doesn't fix your problems.
It hurt a bit when I thought of that, I had same thoughts, but I grew accustomed, and even decided to grow a 'stache once I get a chance to. Find what you'd like to stick to, and what'd you find fashionable, not attractive to yourself.
Don't look at yourself like you'd look at a woman, you don't have to look attractive to yourself like a woman would seem attractive to you, You're a man. №97839[Quote]
>>97837Yeah I understand what your getting at, the hard part however is like I said that im having to work against what I was sort of "taught". Because of circumstances growing up I developed a notion of the normal male form as "gross" and then I had those insane suicide delusions of getting whisked off to fantasyland in my teen years. So the two things merged into a sort of intrusive thing in the back of my head saying I'll be missing my chance or whatever anytime I try to be more normal.
№97841[Quote]
>>97840>>97839And so were I, I was taught that masculinity iz le evil and le bad and le yucky, both by myself and other people when I was a caca.
In terms of lovey-dovey relationships, it's a separate topic.
Men should be loving towards their wives, but they should be the head of the home.
It's all going to be okay. Don't worry, just take your time and become a buff gray man. If there's anything that you need help with, maybe reach out here and there'll be someone else who'd be willing to give a tip or two.
It will take time, and it will be difficult, but you'll go through this.
>arrow because I am not a caca №97842[Quote]
>>97841The biggest issues:
1 I basically sort of "relapse" into the headspace I was at as a teenager sometimes, I can have a good solid month or so of adopting a more sane and functional mindset but then something happens like the dream I mentioned or I have a negative interaction with someone, and I wind up getting back the notion Im "just not meant to be a normal guy" because my mind just automatically defaults to seeing myself as the tiny squeaky voiced bitch boy, part of my fear with age is my mind sees my young and frail self as "me" and so aging or growing into a normal guy feels like "death" to it.
2:I feel sort of "Separate" from the normal reality of being a man, I have been isolated for a long time and so the normal course of life where a boy grows into a man gets strong finds a wife gets a house and dies a grandpa, is just sort of "alien" to me, I never really had any idea for how things would "end", my mind just kind of has expected life for me to be like a cartoon sitcom where the character never ages or progresses in life, so you can see how my mind had a easier time accepting the crazy delusion of offing myself to go off to fantasyland than it does accepting the idea of growing into a normal guy.
Hopefully I can just kill off this weird part of me/
№97846[Quote]
>>97842progress is not a straight shot. it is more like the winding path up a mountain, and relapses are natural. as long as you don't stop fighting you will never truly be as low as you were before, because even in your weakness you have the strength to keep climbing, a strength you couldn't even conceive of previously.
№97848[Quote]
>>97828 (OP)I can't relate to the furryshit but yeah, I do not enjoy masculinity. I enjoy being a man but I hate all the traditional things associated with it. I hate our fashion, with the drab fashion, and being hairy. I don't mind being stoic but I would prefer to be more expressive. I want to wear all sorts of colors and outfits, I want to be expressive and bubbly like I am deep down. I don't understand why it's stigmatized for men to do that. I hate that I have to conform to all of this stupid bullshit for people to respect me, to be attracted to me, to not hurt me.
№97925[Quote]
>>97828 (OP)i was able to fix this within myself by hyperfixating on masculinity instead of femininity. im prone to psychoindoctrinating myself to achieve goals so making the switch was based on convincing myself that masculinity was more desirable and once i did it became a matter of time
№97956[Quote]
>>97828 (OP)some advices for you.
1. get rid of porn addiction and deworm (if you have an addiction).
<2. remove as much toby fox furry troonslop from your daily media feed as possible.
<3. try some new hobbies. it doesn't have to be ultra manly like
cutting nigger heads off with chainsaw, anything practical/done with your hands will do.
<4. imagine how would your face look when you become old and just accept it. don't get sad, gigaold looks great and handsome for example. you misinterpret what male beauty is because you were mindraped by all that cute troonslop.
<5. socialise more with male groups, and it includes sharty. one of things I like is that men can laugh at things to which soyciety would demand a fully different reaction. (not to failtroll degree doe)
№97958[Quote]
>>97881See whenever I think about furries for more than two seconds my mind immediately goes to those bodily issues. I start thinking about bad dog breath or smelly furry that animals actually have, so I'm grossed out by it. I guess it'd be nice to be a cute furry thing but I can't suspend my disbelief with it. But yeah hopefully one day the world will be kinder to men like us. Again I like being male, but sometimes I wonder if my life would be easier if I were female, because I could behave in the ways I'd like to without as much pushback.
№97982[Quote]
>>97956I have the first 3 things down
I tried to do number 4 but that one dream I had fucked me up and kinda reset my progress and like I said my brain for some reason is just hardwired to see myself as this squeaky voiced "bitch boy" I pictured myself as for a long time so its hard to make it realize im not actually that.
I do try number 5 but its always tricky making friends
I had one social thing I was a part of but I had a awkward moment due to my own sensitivity so I wound up leaving it and that kind of reset my progress since I had been working towards a more masculine reality accepting mindset but after losing the social thing because I was too sensitive to fit in I got the notion I should just stop trying to be normal for a while.
№97987[Quote]
try the Robert Plant method. dress like a faggot while still not being one
№98019[Quote]
>>98017Yea I probably wouldnt go too far with dressing up as a women with makeup and shit. The most I would probably do was get a more feminine haircut as my family would lose their shit if they saw me with a dress or something. If I was white and had a family that didnt care I might have gone all out but its just some food for thought for me.
As for the fantasy stuff, do you mean like dreaming/day dreaming about being in a happy world where you can be feminine? I have stuff like that alot
№98039[Quote]
>OHH NOES, I'm not a 6 ft tall giganigga and I got no father figure!
Just enter an amateur football league, cracker. Do any sport that isn't 'murican muttball or rugby honestly.
>Bu- Bu- Bu- But I'm not athletic and manly.
Professional sports, especially football were never that masculine, really. Some of the best football players of all time were kind of flamboyant and not even physically intimidating. Pelé was 5'8, Landon Donovan is 5'8, Maradona was 5'5', Messi is 5'7, Garrincha barely even cracked 5'7, Hugo Sánchez looked as if he had just walked out of a gaybar, and Mbappe is a chaser, you get the point. You don't need to be a roidbeast to move your ass around a field or a speeding track.
>Inner voices that aren't yours
Just try to speak more often, I've also had this problem and I got over it by just humming and reading aloud whatever I read.
№98042[Quote]
>>97982try to join a hang out with guys from your college/uni/work group etc. you somewhat know each other so it'll be easier than making friends with unknown people. maybe you'll join a friend circle that way.
what is that sensitivity issue? if you feel offended just don't show it, most times it's razzing each other as a joke. "if you remain unbothered you're our guy" sort of thing
№98135[Quote]
Forgot to reply to
>>98066 №98139[Quote]
>wants to stop being a fag
>keeps avatarfagging as deltatroon
yup, issa w bait
№98161[Quote]
>>98139Yeah I guess I shouldn't have done that but you know I needed to provide a visual of what things I had in mind.
This art here however depicts the kind of "ideal" im trying to get my mind to accept instead of the furry stuff:
№98162[Quote]
You need to ACK NOW.
If you want to stop being a fag, a good start would be to delete your folder of deltatroon brim and moder or whatever. Every time i go on /r9k/ theres another shitty image. Stop idealising a fictional, nonhuman character as a role model, and try to live in reality. Go do things that will increase your testosterone levels, like eating red meat and doing exercise. Join a sports group to surround yourself with men that arent spineless faggots that sit at a computer all day. Youll find yourself getting mogged by them in many ways and you should make an effort to close the gap.
№98163[Quote]
>>98127Genuinely correct advice if you have a normal way of releasing it later. If you go on a run for a couple kilometres its like a reset for your brain and will get rid of the buildup. Better than sitting around wallowing in your misery all the time
№98164[Quote]
>>98132I was gonna give you advice and tell you that you need to cut out the troonery but I am mentally insane and want to be a cartoon character so I feel like a pot calling a kettle black
№98165[Quote]
>>98162I never had a folder of that stuff until I started seeking help since I needed images to convey what I am speaking about + kind of easily differentiate between whats me and whats someone else, so I wanted to prevent that by having images tied to my subject matter, which I guess didn't work since you still confused me and the black guy posting boymoder slop as the same person.
I might be a furry but I'd never even ironically dabble in that sort of thing.
№98167[Quote]
>>98162I actually for a long time have been focusing on masculine things and I have had good masculine role models, but I had this dream semi recently where I saw myself as a normal muscular guy with chest hair in his middle years and I genuinely wanted to cry when I woke up, I remember waking in my bed thinking "No no I don't want that!"
and so it basically reset me back to my teenage headspace bear in mind I literally was doing everything in my power to be more masculine and was reading self improvement books and everything, but that dream happened and the thoughts and feelings I had since it happened showed me I clearly need to do something beyond just acting masculine if I want to not be a suicidal furry.
№98172[Quote]
>>98132>when did the furry stuff start? I mean no offence im just interested.Kind of since forever I have had a thing for angsty cartoon animals as a sort of catharsis and for some reason always had a interest in the idea of someone being turned into a cartoon animal character, I don't know where it came from exactly, Because of how bad my mental and life state has been I very often fantasized and daydreamt about these sort of things im into to comfort me since I get this warm fuzzy feeling inside when I imagine being an or interacting with an cartoon animal character, it feels like my brain is being wrapped in a blanket.
I don't remember exactly when I became a "furry" I guess I always counted as one if you take my prior interests at one point I had a sort of internal conflict over being a furry but the part that wanted to be normal lost because I got sort of "doomed" when I became a teenager as now I had my usual comfort fantasy of being turned into a cute and innocent animal character, using Deltarune and some furry media as a outlet for my emotional state, and then things like zootopia (they knew what they were fucking doing designing Judy like that) also made it so I if I comforted myself by thinking about girls and romance like a boy often does I basically always pictured a anthro animal girl instead of a actual human woman (hmofa romance does tug at my heartstrings thoever), I've been trying to undo this for a long while but even now if I daydream about a romance story or imagine something like going out on a date my brain just defaults to imagining an anthro animal girl, its bad but hey atleast I managed to avoid being gay. I basically have had furryism hard baked into my psyche since childhood, and as you'd expect this overlapped with the feminine mindset issue and wanting to be pretty thus things like self inserting as Ralsei.
№98177[Quote]
Have you tried stopping cooming?
№98187[Quote]
>>98161this guy is not really "ideal" man, he looks kind of malnourished. try to be more gradual with accepting masculinity, maybe it will help
>>98172I think that aside from bad mental state you have parasites which make you attracted to furries since childhood and give these weird thoughts. for instance I always percieve furries as animals and they never arouse me even if it was intended by the artist.
№98199[Quote]
>>98187>parasitesYou niggas will come up with the most crazy excuses holy shit
№98217[Quote]
if youre not poor and in a first world country get therapy nigga
№98219[Quote]
>>98187See for me thats why the guy in the painting is a good "ideal" image since he's just a guy, malnourished and addicted to cigs, but he's living in reality and not obsessing over cartoon animals.
>I think that aside from bad mental state you have parasites which make you attracted to furries since childhood and give these weird thoughts. for instance I always percieve furries as animals and they never arouse me even if it was intended by the artist.I don't know what it is but I just feel this warm sensation all over whenever I see anthro characters, picturing myself as one of the cutesy male ones makes me feel happy and "pretty" and the female ones make me feel things that real woman don't seem to trigger in me, I get this weird sort of intoxicated sensation, so maybe your right and I have some weird external thing.
№98225[Quote]
Talking about this is kind of a doubled edged sword because I both make progress but also wind up giving in to the urges alot more since it takes presence in my mind
№98238[Quote]
laugh at the problem, and be self aware because it is pretty ridiculous. It won't solve it on it's own but dodis to maybe help
№98250[Quote]
>>98238Im aware of how retarded it is to have a mental crisis because of cartoon animals but man… its a oddly serious problem when your the one actually suffering from it
№98251[Quote]
self-inserting as furfag cartoon characters on the soyjak website is bad enough let alone self-inserting as them in your own mind
№98257[Quote]
>>98251Hence why im trying to get out of doing that.
№98262[Quote]
>>98219>I don't know what it is but I just feel this warm sensation all over whenever I see anthro characters, picturing myself as one of the cutesy male ones makes me feel happy and "pretty" and the female ones make me feel things that real woman don't seem to trigger in me, I get this weird sort of intoxicated sensationYES that's the thing, you described it precisely. I had this tickling warm sensation in my stomach, faster arhythmic heart beat and heavy breathing when I was viewing fetish content before I dewormed myself. after that it was gone and I stopped feeling it at all
№98292[Quote]
>>98257Have you tried replacing your furry folders with giga folders when you select a file to post?
№98451[Quote]
>>98262Holy shit, tell me more and how you got the worms out.
№98453[Quote]
>>98262Did you also feel a kind of pain relief? A common contributor to the problem for me was discomfort or physical pain would go away while I engaged with the stuff as part of the warm sensation I'd get
№98457[Quote]
>>98451first I killed part of worms unintentionally and addiction somehow became weaker, then found parasite pill pdf and dewormed fully.
here it is
>>93852>>98453I didn't end up having pain and that sensation at same time so idk. but if I got over-excited with this sensation (like getting a very strong arousal o algo) my heart started doing weird shit and I felt like I was slowly suffocating/having a heart attack/starting to faint idk but it was pleasant instead of uncomfortable.
№98555[Quote]
>>98457What pdf do you mean also?
№98589[Quote]
>>98555this one, it's in docdroid link there
soyjakwiki.org/SNCA:Parasite_Pill
№98613[Quote]
bvmo because this interests me
№98620[Quote]
>>98589This would make some sense especially since I was outright suicidal when I was totally consumed by this stuff and not fighting against it and it mentions how worms make the host destroy themselves to spread.
№98622[Quote]
>>98613Thank you. I think im on the road to making real progress on this since prior I was kind of stuck in a loop of silently struggling with this and then kind of "relapsing" after a negative incident, but having extra input on things has helped like the idea to manually sound out thoughts so I hear them in a normal voice and not the cartoon animal voice my mind defaults to.
№98927[Quote]
>>98895that recurring dreams thing sounds disturbing. I seldom had some which included my fetishes but these weren't wet doe. they were different from each other and they didn't revert my disgust in any way.
>it kind of feels like someone or something WANTS me to be like this.I had similar feeling, especially during nut clarity. as if I was possessed when lusting over stuff. your case seems interesting in aspect that it's close to trannyism but without outright lustful things
<how often do you think about this character?<do you have Ralsei on wallpapers/avatar/etc?<how did the idea of Ralsei being male affix inside your mind? when I see this character my brain says "I'm sure this is a female"