/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

I posted this a few times before but this doesn't get off my mind i'm still feeling the like the worst Brannnigger to exist ig i had to describe more details. I got exposed to fetish (in particulary tranime) porn at the age of 12 although i never even masturbated to it. Then between the age of 13 and early 16 i went through reading the most messed up hentai doujins in existence, was creating extremely nasty stories on ai and was watching weird irl movies that are still legal somehow but never masturbated (i apperently was edging myself to it once) them either and never saw that stuff regularly and always got freaked out at it but i was absolute scum. I also got almost groomed into a tranny/femboy when i was 13 because of der 'cord/tranime before getting completely disgusted at it a month later. My main issue is that i started developing a mix of HOCD/POCD when i was early 16 because i was probably stressed at the time but i don't remember the exact reason i could see a link between it and lack of Vitamin D/Physical activity. It started pretty normal before becoming slightly worse over time. I first had a wet dream wich was pretty messed up and revolved about past addictions wich sort of triggered the POCD/HOCD. The dream itself was straight but the dialogue in the dream made it far worse. Couple days later i was suffering from a severe diarrhea because i ate a bunch of protein bars at once it went so bad I couldn't get the POCD/HOCD out of my head. I also didn't know about OCD back then. I eventually was so distressed about it that i had to watch some non pornographic movie scene that is still somehow legal and for some reason was on a porn site to test myself i obviously was completely disgusted and freaked out. The day after i was still distressed and i typed some femdom story on ai (wich also involved messed up fetishes) for another test. I think there was some sick pedophilic image wich got stuck in my head after googling about pedophile rings on jewgle but i can't fully remember if that was actually the case. I since developed addictions mostly to femdom and other nasty stuff mainly tranime i developed some other OCDs like Bestiality/Incest etc. before going away eventually while However my addictions persisted and i felt heavily desensitized to degeneracy against my will. And after going to a extremely rough time in my life the OCD came back and my addictions started to become messed up. There was even one incident where i couldn't sleep the whole night because of it. I haven't gooned for around 3 months so far and stopped having any interest whatsoever in it but i had a strong urge to goon to incest tranime but decided not to do it. I currently don't feel any urge to do this again anymore i also feel less desensitized but the OCD somehow persists and getting reminded of it still sucks me.