I don’t think I’m going out on a limb by saying that air travel can be stressful. Crowded flights rarely bring out the best in people, and that’s why common courtesy is so important. If you’ve ever been on a plane where a parent blatantly disregards that courtesy and lets her little black kid cry his lungs out in the seat next to you, then you’ve probably been pretty aggravated, much as I was on a recent flight to Atlanta. And yet somehow—don’t ask me how—for some reason I’ve come out of this whole episode as the bad guy. Yes, me. You know, as if that makes any sense at all.
Why? Oh, because apparently slapping a little nigger baby and telling him to shut up makes you some kind of monster in this day and age. Go figure.
Seriously, though, explain to me how I come out of this one looking like “the villain.” What was I doing wrong? Sitting in my seat, drinking my alcohol, and minding my own business? I acted like a normal human being, and now I’m being vilified. Look, I have all the sympathy in the world for parents traveling with young children. I know it’s no picnic. But if you can’t get your child to behave, then I’m sorry, steps need to be taken. I mean, am I missing something here?
And man, you wouldn’t believe the looks I got after I hit that nigger kid. Seriously, they were looking at me like I just totally lost my shit. Like I’d been the one crying, ruining the flight for everyone! No joke, these people turned on me so quick. On me! The good guy in this situation! It was one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen in my life: An airplane full of people looked at a screaming colored kid, and then looked at me—the guy who hit the kid, mind you—and they all decide to side with the colored kid. I couldn’t believe my fucking eyes.
Are you telling me if you were sitting next to this screeching little tar baby, you wouldn’t slap him? Or at least call him a nigger and just tell him to shut up? Well, if you have that kind of restraint, then way to go, Mother Teresa! Good for you. But I think the rest of us mortals would have done exactly the same thing. And again, what exactly was wrong about what I did? That’s right, nothing! I was doing the right thing! I was making the flight better for everyone!
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