/soy/ - Soyjaks

The Virgin Normal Pancreas vs. The Sharn't-Digest-Food SoyjakThe Virgin Healthy Organ: Produces optimal levels of lipase, protease, and amylase. Effortlessly breaks down macronutrients into bioavailable particles.The EPI Soyjak: "NOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST PASS TRACE LIPIDS UNABSORBED THROUGH THE DUODENUM, CHRONIC PANCREATITIS IS A HECKINO VALID CONDITION!!!"The "Steatorrhea-Posting" Starter PackThe Floating Logs: Fecal matter literally floating due to unabsorbed fats. Yellowish, greasy, and smells worse than a dead thread.The Malnourishment Wojak: Eating 3,000 calories a day but looking like a skeleton because zero nutrients are being absorbed.The Liquid Bloat: Guzzling water to stop the cramps but it just makes the gurgling worse.The PERT Chad SolutionThe Mandatory Ritual: You must take the porcine capsules with the first bite of food. No capsule = total GI destruction.The Micro-Managing Diet: Tracking every gram of fat just to calculate the exact dosage of Creon or Zenpep required to survive a burger.Would you like me to draw up a ASCII soyjak text-art of a doctor prescribing Creon, or explain the specific diagnostic stool tests in this same style?