"GET YOUR AUTISTIC ASS OFF THE PHONE AND JOIN THE MILITARY!"
Woah! Even Soot himself said you should enlist! Fun fact for you 'nusois' (soyjak.party slang [noun] definition - 'newcomers') - both Soot and Doll served for the US Army.
If they were still here they themselves would be sponsoring you 'Nates' for recruitment. They know what's best for you, son!
https://www.goarmy.com/how-to-join/steps