/soy/ - Soyjaks

So I've been dealing with this strange habit/coping mechanism lately where whenever I feel effeminate or low confidence I just start masturbating to cuckolding porn but importantly I only ever self insert as the bull and try to find only videos from that pov. It's actually worked pretty well. The thing about confidence is that it literally improves everything else in your life. You don't have to go through some stoic mental gymnastics to reduce your sensitivity to pain and discomfort because those things just happen naturally. You don't have to worry about what's right and wrong because your testosterone and drive to dominate will take care of that for you. Your mind doesn't wander and lose its train of thought because the only thing that matters is your superiority. I feel more intelligent and experience a level of mental clarity that I never even expected to be possible. It just feels so natural. For context, this is coming from someone who used to be so porn addicted I could only get off to the idea of being a gay bottom. I've even penetrated myself with various objects to fulfill that fantasy,and used to self insert as the cuck in that genre of pornography. Now I've taken the reins and find myself wondering why it ever felt so wrong? It feels like my body is finally doing all the work for me. It's not even that hard. Once you fall into the groove of valuing yourself first and wanting to dominate, you don't even entertain the idea of failure. It feels like living in a dream that just never ends. Someone slap me awake before I become a psychopathic narcissist.