/soy/ - Soyjaks

I have been on this website for a few weeks now, and I have become addicted to refreshing the 'log every few seconds while waiting for gemmies. I spend around 10 hours a day scrolling /soy/ and posting bait and last night I didn't even go to sleep. I am currently in my last year of school and I have really important exams coming up in a month or so that will determine my future for the rest of my life. But since I spend all my free time on the sharty looking at coal, I have no time to study and absolutely no desire to do the latter. I also started drinking while on the log because it makes the bait ten times funnier. By the time I finish scrolling, my brain is completely, irreperably fried and I can't even read a sentence afterwards. I am meant to study at least a few hours a day but I haven't opened a book in months. The guilt and anxiety are destroying me daily and the sharty is the only thing that makes my head go quiet. I might genuenly ropemaxx soon if nothing changes. All I can hope for is for something within me to click, for me to realise that this is an utter waste of time and that I need to lock in, but all I can do is wait. Perhaps it's not all that I can do, perhaps I can start acting, but I am too weak, I literally stay in bed all day whenever I am at home, it is too difficult for me to even sit. I would be better off dead than living like this for the rest of my miserable and short life. My mom is pressuring me to go to medschool so I need to get max points on the exam but I am afraid I might fail every subject in school. So maybe it would be better if I wasn't alive by then. I know it's not too late to turn back and redeem myself but every day I choose not to, and I already know that tomorrow won't be any different. O algo.