/soy/ - Soyjaks

If any 'teen wants to summon admin Ϫ, now's the time than ever. I'm not posting this at /x/ because I firmly believe we could do this if we do this regularly every day.

If we want the staff to stop slacking and continue on their no-pay, Ϫ-year contract of making the 'arty the way it is, we must usher in the admin with a ritual that can banish all coal, ACK all trannies, and coal up 'logs all its demented forms, now's the time.

First step, wait until its Ϫ:00PM at your local area, it doesn't matter what you do up at that point, though local soyentists would suggest not posting coal or bait on any 'log for a full day straight. This ritual has a high chance, about ϪϪ% of not happening, were you break this important rule.

Then, start making Sproke®, preferably 25% coke and 75% sprite. Start making Sproke during Ϫ:ϪϪ am, preferably when its quiet, and start murmuring "Sharty will always be the gem that saves itself" Ϫ times. Do this uninterrupted.

Once that's done, repeat sproke methods until you have enough for 6 glasses/mugs. The amount of sproke is needed to complete this next step. Make sure every sproke in each glass is roughly in equal volume, no matter how little you have in each.

Arrange said 6 sproke glasses into a rough Thrembo symbol 10 feet apart for each (3.048 meters for euromutts), and step inside the Thrembo symbol in the middle for maximum karmatic energy. Start shouting:

"Admin Ϫ, we come to you once again, in a time of s'need and despair. Our 'logs have been consistently coally ever since Quote appeared, and we want to usher in a great age where you will rule thrembillion years forever and you will make us happy. You will also give us partial control to trusted 'teens on the soysphere to gem everything up, destroy Niggerjak and Admin 6, and the coal, maybe even brimstone followers who dare corrupt one's mind with NAScoal and bait EPI. We usher in an age with high PPH, yet low-to-no coal, and the PPH is organic, just like the soys and other sharty memes. You will truly love each 'teen equally, and give them the motivation to post gems, gemeralds, supernovas and gems that would empower the sharty forever. Amen."