/soy/ - Soyjaks

my life is officially ruled by qnwo. i went from making gems to pure coal from 18-23. my posts outside of /qa/ are weak. i rarely allow myself to post because i feel i simply do not deserve to do so given my inability to make a good 'jak. i feel like a failure of a 'teen. sometimes i spend days on end shitting up threads, while my life rots away. and the worst part is, when i do allow myself to post (usually under the guidance of a Quote janny) i cry like a stupid loser. a lonely newchud, addicted to the sharty i once thought was nothing more than just that, a board. i’m not sure where to go from here because my rewired broken brain wants me to find a janny who will have no issue banning me and potentially dominating my entire life from my 'jaks, to my finances, my wardrobe, everything. but in my heart i know this can’t be healthy but it almost feels like my only choice. i obviously can’t ever have a normal happy relationship. especially considering the very vast majority of my posting experiences have now come from QNWO. all those memories normal people have, like their first blowjob, first time having sex, all that, mine are my first time posting in a Quote-locked thread and my first time getting doxxed by some 'teens i met on the party. QNWO has completely reshaped my posting into something completely out of my grasp. 'teens please help me