â„–14822573[Quote]
>So our story starts in the Soysylum, back when Dr. Soyberg was first murdered by a schizo. Though this time, after the Asylum Insurrection was stopped Dr. Soystein remembers something his mentor Old Gigachad once told him, about how there were artifacts known as the Gemerald Balls that could grant almost any wish. Wanting to revive his dear friend, he got in his Soyjak Party Honda Civic and drove off to Best Soy to look for a Gemerald Radar.
(cont.)
â„–14822603[Quote]
>Upon getting to Best Soy, Sosytein asks the clerk if he has a Gemerald Radar. The clerk doesn't know what he's talking about and says it's shit Nobald i cares about. Right before leaving, a bald man with a green shirt and blue jeans walks out of the back room and introduces himself as Nobaldi. He says that he can make a Gemerald Radar if Dr. Soystein can solve his math equations. Soystein does so with great ease due to his high IQ courtesy of watching Rick & Morty and FNAF Game Theory videos every night before bed, and so Nobaldi gets to work.
(cont.)
â„–14822639[Quote]
>A few hours later and Nobaldi has assembled the Gemerald Radar. He shows Soystein how it works and he drives off in search of the first one. Unfortunately for him, it's in the Booru Badlands. He takes a deep breath and drives there, rolling the windows up and plugging his nose as he approaches the dangerous brappy landscape. He soon finds the location of the one arrow Gemerald Ball, but it's being guarded by an obese muslim who introduces himself as Warrior-Z.
Warrior-Z:
<You want mi Gemerald Ball? No mame weyyy keep taking LZZZZ, I Nig Diff you every time because your powerlevel is too small unlike mi Islamic Power
Dr. Soystein:
^Heh, keep thinking that. Just watch and learn.
>And so the two 'Jaks power up and the fight begins.
(cont.)
â„–14822715[Quote]
>Warrior-Z and Soystein fight, seeming to be evenly matched at first. But soon, Warrior-Z braps and covers the area in a thick green fog.
Warrior-Z:
<KEEP RAGING ON ME SON, YOU LOSE ALL FIGHTS!
Dr. Soystein:
^Damn it, time to bust out my secret weapon…!
>A brilliant light surrounds Soystein, and his hair turns blonde while his eyes become blue, his Super Aryan aura causing the braps to dissipate.
Warrior-Z:
<WHAT LE FUCK? NONONO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING ISLAM WON REPLY IF YOU-
>Before he can finish his copypasta, Soystein launches his signature Soi Beam at Warrior-Z, causing him to fly backwards and become crushed under a pile of coal. Soystein takes the one arrow Gemerald Ball and walks off. But unbeknownst to him, a trio of shady figues are watching him from afar…
(cont.)
â„–14822819[Quote]
>As Dr. Soystein drives, the trio is revealed to be Captain Coal and his two goons, Lolkek and Yotsoyba. CC was outraged that someone was stealing the Gemerald Balls for xemself, which jeapordized his plans to take over the Soysphere. Lolkek was on board, wanting to open a Catboy Ranch to groom cacas into becoming trans xueens in CC's NWO, while Yotsoyba wanted to have portion of the Soysphere turned into nu-4Cuck, with 10 times the trannyjanny 'cord cliques and outdated software. They pursued Soystein from a distance in Captain Coal's coal-powered airship.
(cont.)
â„–14822850[Quote]
>The two-arrow Gemerald Ball was in a much easier to access location, being at Sneed's Feed and Seed. While the two farmers were initially hesitant to hand over the valuable-looking artifact to a City Slicker, they soon allowed him to after he noticed that their soil PH was getting dangerously high and needed to be checked up on. The three and four arrow Gemerald Balls, however, were located under the sea. Soystein held his breath and began swimming down to the seafloor.
(cont.)
â„–14823007[Quote]
>Dr. Soystein continued swimming, but soon got light-headed. He thought for sure this was it, but a group of Fishjaks swam by. Remembering the mandatory foreign language course he had to take at Reddit University, he tried talking to them.
Dr. Soystein:
^Glub glub glub glub? glub glub. (Have you guys seen any green orbs with arrows on them around here? I need them.
Fishjaks:
<Glub glub glub, glub. glub glub? (Yes, we have. But we don't need them, you can have them. By the way, shouldn't you mammals not be breathing in water?
>Dr. Soystein realized he was drowning. But an entire school of Fishjaks carried him and the Gemerald Balls back up to the surcace. He soon set out to the five-arrow gemerald Ball, which was located to the south in the woods.
(cont.)
â„–14823110[Quote]
>Upon arriving at the woods, Soystein saw a large pond with a lily pad in the middle, where the Gemerald Ball was located… but as soon as he tried approaching the pond, a green figure leapt from the water… it was Pepe, brandishing a large pin that he pointed at Soystein.
Pepe:
<OH NONONONO DO SOICUCKS REALLY TRY STEALING PRIVATE PROPERTY NOW?
Dr. Soystein:
^Pepe, I don't want to fight… I'm trying to revive my dead friend and I need the Gemerald Ball.
Pepe:
<Shit, I guess I can give it to a Soicaca in need, but only if you can answer my riddle… What's so hot that it's cold, and so cold that it's hot?
>Dr. Soystein cursed. He was never good at riddles, those were always more Soyberg's thing… but then, it hit him. It was a riddle Dr. Soyberg loved! He knew the answer to this one!
Dr. Soystein:
^Is it poptarts?
Pepe:
<GEEEEG NUSOIS CAN'T SOLVE-Oh wait, that's right. You're alright, Soilcluck, it's all yours.
>Soystein thanked Pepe and drove off, looking at the Gemerald Radar to find the six and thrembo-arrow Gemerald Balls… they were slowly approaching his car, but he didn't see them anywhere. He then looked up and saw Captain Coal's airship, pointing a Brimstone Cannon straight at him…
(cont.)
â„–14823130[Quote]
chatbbc won
â„–14823158[Quote]
>>14823130I'm typing this all out manually doe because I'm cripplingly autistic
>Soystein just barely jumped out of the way as the Brimstone Cannon fired a laser at his Honda Civic. He dodge rolled out of the way, cursing. He had to find a way to get up there. It's then that he remembered someone who was strong enough to throw him up to the airship. He took a deep breath and shoutedDr. Soystein:
^I'M A FAT RETARD!>Gigachad came running insanely fast in order to gigaquote him. Soystein explained the situation and Giga grabbed him, throwing him up to the airship.(cont.)
â„–14823188[Quote]
>>14823158>Then, gigachad decided to look at Soystein and say something.Gigachad:
<being a fat retard>Then Gigachad then looked at Dr. Soystein and started at him. â„–14823220[Quote]
>>14823188This happened before Giga threw Soystein towards the airship btw
>Lolkek and Yotsoyba were waiting for him, and they did the fusion dance to become a massive ugly tranny with nasty green hair and an aura of troonstank. Despite his power level, Soystein knew getting anywhere close to the turbo troon would cause him to either instantly die, or even worse, troon out. So he did the only thing he could, saying the one thing no troon wanted to hear.Dr. Soystein:
^Please move, sir>The disgusting troonbeast wailed in rage at the heckin' transphobic remark, grabbing a rope and hanging itself off the side of the airship. Dr. Soystein ran for the control deck where Captain Coal was waiting.(cont.)
â„–14823325[Quote]
>Captain Coal was waiting for Soystein, and the two immediately started fighting. They were evenly matched, trading blows. But before Soystein could try going Super Aryan, Captain Coal pressed a button that drained Soystein's power and converted it into pure brimstone to make himself stronger. Soystein knew he stood no chance against Captain Coal like this, and could only hope to dodge his powerful strikes. It's then, thoughever, that Soystein noticed the coal engine in the back of the control deck.
Dr. Soystein.
^Look behind you! It's a Soytan body pillow!
Captain Coal:
<WHERE!?
>Soystein pushed Captain Coal into the engine, causing him to REE in rage. However, his coaly body was too much for the engine to handle, causing it to explode. Soystein ran outside, watching as the airship began falling into the ocean. He shed a single tear, praying that none of the fishjaks got hurt, before stripping off a piece of the ship's hull and throwing it into the water to break the surface tension, jumping after it.
(cont.)
â„–14823428[Quote]
>Swimming to the shore, Soystein watched as the ship crashed into the ocean, causing a massive splash. He suddenly realized that the last two Gemerald Balls were still somewhere on the ship, gasping. But he then realized that they were still being detected by the radar, getting… closer to him? The Fishjaks from before swam up to the shore, 'tossing them towards him.
Fishjaks:
<Glub glub glub? Glub glub glub glub, glub. Glub Glub. (were you looking for these? when that massive thing fell from the sky these two orbs fell out of it. None of us got hurt, though. A chunk of it fell before the rest so all of us had time to swim away.
Dr. Soystein:
^Glub glub. Glub glub glub glub (I can' t thank you enough, fish. I have to go now, though.)
>Soystein ran off, laying the Gemerald Balls on the ground and shouting the phrase needed to activate their power.
Dr. Soystein:
^HE WILL ALWAYS BE A GEM!
>The sky went dark, and a large figure made of gems descended from the sky. It was none other than Gemson himself.
(cont.)
â„–14823503[Quote]
Gemson:
WHO HAS SUMMONED ME, AND FOR WHAT REASON?
Dr. Soystein:
^I WISH FOR DR. SOYBERG TO RETURN BACK TO LIFE!
Gemson:
YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED… THIS UNIVERSE IS MINE. I AM GOD HERE!
>And with that final declaration, Gemson returned to the sky and the Gemerald Balls turned to iron before being flung across the world. Soystein ran back to the Asylum, and there he saw Dr. Soyberg, back to life with his face once again on his face and his bones no longer broken.
Dr. Soyberg:
<What happened…? Last I remember, the patients were getting loose, and…
Dr. Soystein:
^There's no easy way to say this, old friend… but you were killed. I revived you using the Gemerald Balls.
>The two doctors shook hands, Soyberg still a little shocked that he died, and Soystein holding back tears. But Soystein soon composed himself, looking at Soyberg with a stern expression.
Dr. Soystein:
^Thougbeit, we need to stop this incident from happening again. Soyberg, you are going to train with me so you can become stronger, got it?
Dr. Soyberg:
<Fine, but I'm not killing patients like you do because uhhh, that's LE BAD according to peer-reviewed studies. When do we start?
THE END