/soy/ - Soyjaks

I ain't never cried once, not even at a funeral
Countin' to infinity
Do the undoable like bite into vitamins
When they ain't even chewable
Lookin' in the mirror like, "Damn, you's beautiful"

That's why when I walk into strip clubs
And all the strippers start tipping me
I got so many girls
They accusin' me of polygamy
I got grandmamas tryna hit me up
All the damn time
Asking me if I can send them nudes through a landline

Can't nobody get ahead of us?
I've done so many mothers
Everyone calls me Oedipus

I am very badass
Ladies in line all waitin' to smash
Been badass since I was a kid
Lost my virginity before my dad did

I am very badass
Even in my sleep, I'm ready to scrap
I throw down with anyone on the street
I don't dodge bullets, bullets dodge me

That's why I flow like a butterfly
Sting like chlamydia
They show me Thor's hammer
And said I couldn't pick it up
I said, "Nah, I ain't even gonna try man 'cause
That pathetic hammer ain't worthy enough for my hand"

Who's strong enough to punch a polar bear in the jaw?
Who's strong enough to drink peanut butter through a straw?
Who's strong enough to get Chick-fil-A on a Sunday?
I could probably whoop the whole country

Can't nobody ever come at me?
'Cause if a zombie bites me
It becomes one of me

I am very badass
Ladies in line all waitin' to smash
Been badass since I was a kid
Lost my virginity before my dad did

I am very badass
Even in my sleep, I'm ready to scrap
I throw it down with anyone on the street
I don't dodge bullets, bullets dodge me

This is gangsta shit 'cause I'm a gangsta dude
I live a gangsta life
I eat gangsta food
I got gangsta strength in my gangsta veins
When I step on a Lego, it feels pain (switch it up)

And I don't flinch when I eat up these ghost peppers like breath mints
I can't go to another reap, 'cause they all end up pregnant
Goku is bowing down to me, 'cause I'm dominant
Guess how many push-ups I can do
(All of all)

I am very badass
Ladies in line all waitin' to smash
Been badass since I was a kid
Lost my virginity before my dad did

I am very badass
Even in my sleep, I'm ready to scrap
I throw it down with anyone on the street
And I don't dodge bullets, bullets dodge me