/soy/ - Soyjaks

does this mean you can be easily hypnotized into sucking on a bwc

ever had a dominant figure in your life?

just do the things you want to do. i wanted to stop being too lazy to suck dick and then i did

>>14428351
Yeah. My parents were extremely authoritarian. My mother was borderline abusive. They tried to control everything I did growing up, and they'd throw tantrums when I wasn't perfect.

>>14428351
My dad used to hit me

>>14428391
meds he wasn't asking you

>>14428363
well, that’s why. especially abusive mothers, few things can fuck someone more than that. you’re stuck to her, feeling as an impotent, defenseless child you once was. you need to cultivate rebellion into your heart, hate that authoritarian figures

>>14428409
I've no doubt that my upbringing influenced me, but I'm not really sure what to do about it. Pretty much any advice fails because I literally do not have the capacity to make choices. I can't control the things I do

>>14428434
what did you feel when they abused you? fear, I guess. and a feeling that you were in the wrong. that it was your fault. that you were disappointing them. you need to reverse this feelings. you need to acknowledge that they were wrong. it was their fault, not yours. they failed with you. accept that

>>14428453
It's a little complicated. My parents were very wealthy. I lived far more comfortably and had many more opportunities and experiences than almost any other living person. I still benefit from this as an adult. They also dedicated a lot of time and resources to my success, especially my dad. So it's hard to say that they "abused me." But I was also always afraid when they were around, because everything I did was subject to intense scrutiny. If I didn't meet their expectations, they'd grill me and yell at me, and my mother would sometimes have tantrums and throw things. It's like I was always in a state of conflict with them; if we weren't fighting, I was anticipating the next fight. My dad gave me weeks of silent treatment when I was in high school because he thought I wouldn't end up going to a good college (in fact, I did go to a really good college.) My mom hit me at least once. The thing that really convinced me that I was abused is that my mom also had a habit of popping my pimples. Every night she demanded I go to her bathroom so she could pop all the pimples on my face. Even when I told her how badly I hurt, she would insist on it. She also did this in public, but she always took me away from where anyone could see, so I think she knew that what she was doing was wrong. I guess my being in pain was worth not having an "ugly" child. The constant picking gave me acne scars which I still have today. It's why I never cleanly shave my face.

>>14428485
you see, it’s not complicated. doesn’t matter how much they dedicated their time and resources with you, the wealthy life, gifts and unique opportunities they gave you: they still abused you, physically and mentally. you still benefiting from their stuff only reinforces the “they didn’t fucked me up, I should be glad” mentality, also making you see yourself as the same child that earned all of that you have. as if you never conquered anything, you have no merit, just enjoying the fruits that fell.
I ask you: what is the value of all that material shit, when you’re all fucked up? it really compensates? you’re worth this little? do you even care about yourself?
let me tell you why they invested on you: to inflate their egos. they never did it for love, caring about you. if that was the case, they wouldn’t have treated you like a dog. they did it to showing for the others, feeling proud of themselves, as the ultimate providers and authorities.
you don’t need them, you never needed. you were a victim, there is no shame nor ingratitude in admitting that.
you can’t control things because you are still controlled by those living figures in your mind. you are the one feeding them. just stop it. stop harming yourself. it’s time to heal, take care of both body and mind. time to live without fear, without judgment. take the reins of your own life, and ride to where you please

>>14428681
I don't have anything to say in response, I just want to acknowledge that I read this.
What an odd place for this conversation to happen.

>>14428781
sure thing is. take care man, I believe in you ;)