/soy/ - Soyjaks

My name? Oh Lemme tell you my name. Uh… I'm confused. Because, uh, you know, like, we're supposed to believe in the ministry, right? So is the- is the church and state supposed to be separate?

I'm confused 'cuz I never went to school. Right? Does a confused person get a resolution? I don't understand. You see, when you go like that, (holds fingers in a "cross" formation) right, you have a cross, two sticks, right?

And that's how I felt when I was in Waterloo. 'Cuz when I walked in Waterloo and smiled at people, they treated me like a vampire. They used the cross and they went like this (cross gesture) by not smiling at me.

In Toronto– Hey, hi guys, you know me: Steve Soyos? "Easygoing"? Those who know me. I'm a nobody, y'understand? And you can't kill a person with no body!

So. why am I afraid? I'm not afraid! I'm afraid of the Boogeyman! Who's the Boogeyman? You figure it out! I'm gettin' outta here! I'm going back to Waterloo where the vampires hang out, and I'm gonna wear my sunglasses at night. Ya know why? Because women show their t–s, have short skirts, and then they feel violated when I look at them! Why? 'Cuz I have sunglasses on and I'm weird.

Uhh… I'm from Humberside? I'm sorry if, uh, I made a fool of Humberside, but… All those people who called me a sleepwalker? I woke up!! Now I'm going back to sleep 'cuz I'm gonna be committed in an isolation room, because I'm gonna go back to the ministry and allow them to perceive me as I am: a FUCK-UP!!! GOODBYE!!

Hey Toronto the Good, look at– look at this square. It was a shithole when I worked here, now it looks like Waterloo, they're creating bums, they created ME! Why?! I don't know! Maybe it's the church. Talk to the Pope, he knows everything, I've had it!! I'm gonna die! How can you die when you're DEAD? Oh wait a second, I'm gonna be crucified, right?
(Rips open shirt.)
sigh I'm not gonna raise my voice. 'Cuz I'm committed to the Lord. I love you.