/soy/ - Soyjaks

Hark, what foul spawn is this that bears the name of Jimbo!
A hell-hound of unnatural conception, base, and degenerate, conceived in some loathsome den. Thou art a globe of sinful continents, surfeit-swell'd, and monstrously born to six hundred pounds. He hath been nurtured only upon garbage and the filth of men's uncleanly savours.
His skin is foul, and doth wear the lazar-like mark of reeking villany. His sulfuric blast and braps are a token'd pestilence that doth cause all human life to take heel and fly the confines near him.
A loathed issue, born of corrupt blood—his very blood is curdled. He is so swarthy, the men of his own race look on him with horror. He doth vent his own wretched folly in images, as his foul body sloughs off and is renewed with corruption.
This mound of grossness moves not by foot, for a thickness of hardened dirt keeps him from treading, save by the force of his flatulent breath. This rag of honour is the vilest stroke of Nature's sale-work ever to be conceived.
A plague consume this rascal! Death and damnation swallow him! KILL ALL such caitiffs!