/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

>>94241
I did develop some weirder fetishes, but nothing too extreme.
But damage that porn did to me is immense. There were couple periods of time (~6-12 months) when I would stop it with addiction, but fell back to it.

I exclusively beat my meat to tranny scat and sissy hypno

But why would you do that rubbish?

>>94352
fell for obvious bait award

Third pill of three down. No worms, no stomach ache, nothing. Whoever's told me to take the wormpill, are you tied to Big Pharma???

>>94372
it's hard to notice anything since you don't sense your own guts. before this >>94313 I thought that I did something wrong too.
>there are big pharma agents on da shardee who persuade you to spend 10$ on deworm meds
geg

my fasting restoration is over btw. yesterday I ate quail eggs and baked chicken and it went fine. morning hunger before first meal is increasing, like the first thing I do after waking up is eating. I've decided to switch to low-carb diet since worms love carbs and it also makes you lose some weight, improve metabolism o algo. fasting starts thing called "ketosis" which is the goal of such diet so the two match well and I don't have to adapt. products I took so far (yoghurt, eggs, meat) are all low carb. today gonna try more complex food

>>94375
Sounds tasty

yesterday ate fish and chicken with spices then eggs with cheese and mayo. all good, my digestion is fully restored. also morning hunger is gone, so this concludes that fasting has ended well. feel no significant effects doe aside from the 3kg lost

Morning everyene

I used to watch greentext compilations and such when I was a kid, but the first time I discovered porn was in elementary school when I overheard some classmates talking about it. They said it was chinese star wars and the force was kung-fu. I didn't start gooning then but a few years later in middle school, I would hear the 4cucks talk about fapping and porn folders and whatnot and I spent some time on /b/ and /r9k/ back then so I thought it was cool. apparently, I was dead wrong. my first "buss" was at an age before I could even produce semen, it was a prolonged and quite uncomfortable procedure where I jerked my shit to an anime underboob clickbait thumbnal on youtube. I can still remember the picture, I suppose you never forget your first.

After that, my gooning habits ramped up considerably. I found myself watching t.v. with my family, seeing something that caught my eye and just get up to go to the bathroom and goon my shit crazy style before returning to my seat on the couch like nothing happened. I wouldn't go on pornhub or rule 34 as I didn't know those places existed yet, but thankfully for me google images could serve the blossoming mind infinite porn of infinite variety of any character or type I wished, quite easily in fact. I would often find myself delving into some tantalizingly debauched things through related image search, things I knew even then were wrong, but I would excuse it by telling myself it only mattered what I busted too, and not what I came upon during the lead-up. If only I could be that innocent again.

I would do it over 5 times a day for many years, I had no impulse control because I didnt know what I was doing was that bad. it is kind of funny to me now, thinking back on when me and one of my friends were discussing jacking habits in high school. He said he did it too much, and I asked how often he would indulge. He told me he gooned it 3 times a week, and I was sorely shocked. I though gooning 5 times a day was normal up until then. I didn't even know people could smell the cum on me until I had nearly graduated high school because not one of my parents told me to stop. it wasnt any better when I was alone, I would game or do homework and if i ever got the slightest urge to goon I would stop and do it right there. if I didn't have tissues (I wouldnt use socks) I just wiped the spent lust on the frame of my bed like an animal.

occasionally, I would get crazed with lust. I hadn't developed any truly degenerate fetishes yet, anything that wasn't wholesome or could be construed as such by my still developing mind would kill my boner completely, but still I got glimpses of what I would become. I experimented with anal play often to get more sensation, one time i even made myself bleed by sticking random shit in there that I won't mention. luckily none of it stuck and turned me into a faggot, but I am nonetheless deranged today so I suppose it didn't really matter in the end. I cut a hole in my bed so that I might try and fuck it at one point in high school, it didn't work the way i wanted it to (it was too big for my twp) but one of my other friends found it one time and I'm sure most of the rest of my friend group knew about it after that, but none spoke of it so maybe he kept it secret. He was a gooner too, and would leave cum socks under friends beds whenever he spent the night but I never did that. The most degenerate thing I did publicly was masturbate in class. It was a fortunate (or rather unfortunate) circumstance, my dick was trapped just right between my pants and my thigh and I was able to rub myself to completion in my second period math class. This was before I knew cum stank so I had no qualms, and as I can recall no stain either, it was a weak load. But still, the fact I did that keeps me up at night.

>>94505
Today, I have made great strides in curbing my addiction, truly it is my greatest vice. Even though my fetishes have advanced to a point where I would rather die than disclose them to anyone, I can take little pride in the fact that I have been able to wrangle my unrestrained lust somewhat compared to how I was at my peak. I was almost at the point of completely curbing it until I got oneshot by grok imagine, but at least I know I have it in me to get that far. I jack it max 3 times a day now, though recently I have gotten it down to only once a day, but that's just because I have been keeping myself busy instead of rotting in bed like a chud. often, though, I fail and relapse due to my own weakness. even though I know I am killing myself and spraying precious energy out, and any pleasure derived is illusory, I have to admit I love gooning. It is the perfect time waster, a the burst of dopamine upon relpase sweet, although the moment I awake from my slumber and regain sapience I regret it more than anything I have done in my life. more often still do I wonder if it is well and truly over for me. sometimes I think I should just kill myself for what I've done, and that any progress or achivements I could make would be tainted by my twisted, monstrous beast of a libido and the places it's brought me too while I was limply dragged behind it by it's leash. I don't know if I will ever be normal again, if I will ever be *human* again, or if I even deserve to be. I know it would be so much easier, perhaps even righteous for my to take my own life than to face and overcome the dragon of lust and claim it's lair for my own. But I cant kill myself despite past attempts, I'm too big of a coward. So I continue on, a demon in human skin, fitting in with the rest of you.

I wonder why God intended this path for me. I know you christians will agree but the inarguable fact of the matter is that if God wanted satan and his host gone he could do so without lifting a finger, so evil must exist for some reason, however inscrutable it might me. I used to think God hated me, and that we were all living in hell, but I know that to not be the case anymore. I do know, despite my character defining failings, that I can see God and listen to him as she speaks and guides me, and that the creator of the cosmos does care. but it begs the question as to why I would be cursed with such a lust, one-shot by a demon before I was old enough to know better. perhaps it was to teach me wisdom, and humility, as the only way to know something is to experience it. perhaps it was to, at some point in the future, grant me the power to command my greatest sin rather than living in fear of it, as through wrestling with the beast I might learn it's weaknesses, and the fact even something as great as the biological will of procreation is pale in comparison to the true will of my soul. contrarily, if the janny of the world is demiurgic and I have been deceived, it was always my lot to be this way, and it is my lot to rot from the inside out until I become and unabashed jartypedo or I am crushed under the weight of my cross and simply give up the ghost. I don't know the answer, and I will never know until the deed is done so it seems stupid to even contemplate it. but what else is a man to do?

sorry for the long blogpost. I have been looking for an excuse to post something like this for a long time now so I wanted to make it count. may God forgive me, and you, for all that we've done, whether your sins are greater or lesser than mine.

>>94506
*will not. fuck im such a retarded apelike chud

>>>94505
>Supermegalong text
Bro, it's not a real problem. Keep that in mind. Life can be much more shit and hyper-focusing on the fact that you are jerking off too much isn't any good

i take zoloft for my ocd and imo it's the ultimate anti-goon pill. i've also noticed i'm a lot calmer around women and way more sociable. i haven't beat my meat for 2 months already. i dont have erectile dysfunction. it does cause delayed orgasm doe.

>>>94506
>*will not. fuck im such a retarded apelike chud
You are heterosexual and are good at writing, so you're definitely not retarded. Try writing a book or drawing or doing anything creative, art and doing something in general is cool

>>94510
I have a draft for a book on my pc that I haven't been editing for dumb reasons. I really want to write books and pursue niggerrap because I am a good producer, but I spend too much time gooning and gaming to get anything done. I have been a hedonist all my life and now that I'm an adult I have been left to pick up the pieces of my fucked psyche and habits long past the point I should be functional. don't get me wrong though, I don't blame my parents or DA JOOOOOOOSSSSS or the society they've created; I am at the center of my own reality, it's creator and curator, and the onus of responsibility falls squarely upon my back. I know its just an excuse, a sweet bit of lotus I snack on frequently, but it is difficult to be disciplined and accept responsibility when you've been dodging it physically and mentally for your entire life. thanks for reading my blogpost xister

>>94508
I know its not real, but it feels real. I need to stop giving energy to it but my mind is a judas. I am going to meditate more often, I think that will help. thanks for the advice and taking the time to respond to me

ill give you mine
>be me
>11 years old
>have a kid im friends with who was a year younger than me, known for being a giant goober
>would talk to me about jerking off to transformers porn in the school bathroom
>pulled up dbz futa porn in front of me in the hallway to show me
>despite knowing this guy was a fucking disgusting freak, decide to see what porn is like anyways
>get worried that jerking off will get me addicted in some way
>look up online "is porn addictive"
>lobbied research articles say that it isnt addictive and is le healthy instead
>think its fine
>fast forward one month
>i become an obvious addict to myself and have no idea how to fix it
>next 9 years of my life are me desperately trying to limit how much i jerked off because i got addicted

i genuinely get really anxious and incapable of focusing if i dont jerk off for more than a couple days now, it feels almost like im addicted to cigarettes or something. this is what mass grooming on the internet has done, dont let anyone rewrite this from the history books.

>>94514
realized the autocorrect changed gooner to goober fuck my life

>>94515
goober is funnier anyway

I forgot to mention that i have high suspicion of being infected by worms but idk if they caused my everything i have suffered from the last two years. I often have stomach ache at night and i can see some yellow stuff on my feces. I very recently took dog dewormers and they seemed to work and i finally got even disgusted at the very idea of gooning and stopped being desensitized at faggots and trannies and other degenerate behavior. However my mom forced me to eat pork (worms love it) wich apparently completely reversed my mental state and gave my fetishes back.

>>94529
that sounds interesting, tell more about it
>>94482
Hungarian how's your progress? any improvements?

>>94506
think of it as a challenge. Earth is satan's world and you are being tested. the understanding that porn addiction is vile is already a good step, work to get rid of it.

just replace gooning with smoking, smoking forces you to socialize

>>94534
not really, you can be a lone smoker, and you'll just get 2 addictions instead of one

>>>94505

Try sincerely to pray and give it all to God, and tell Him that you cannot do this anymore without His help i nthe most real and unfiltered way you can. Trust me, just try.

is the wormpill actually real? how do i go about it? are there any risks?

>>94581
it is, start with universal dewormers like ivermectin or albendazole. taking multiple is good unless they're incompatible, always check that. here's a wormpill table since files were lost
overdose happens when you take like 100 times more than needed, some nigga took 7g of ivermectin (while 20mg is more than enough) but he's ok now geg. in most cases its effects pass by itself after your organism excretes the dewormer. imo it's one of safest med groups existing.

>>94693
Why did you google that…

>>94693
nigga got epid through jacksepticeye
very sad for you doe

>>94532
The dude who's gotten me into males is back. No worm feelings, likely more motivated.

>>94766
motivated in which way? elaborate
and any changes in your male furry fetish? best way to test it is viewing it and observing effects on your lust. doe you can get goonbaited by it if deworming went unsuccessful so decide yourself

>>94767
Frankly, no changes in the fetish. Motivated more means doing more things each day now.

>>94779
higher energy is a good sign, it means that you at least killed some of the parasites. I have these hypotheses regarding your situation:
1. biofilm - parasites build multi-layered biofilm around their "colonies" to partially survive deworming. if you had a short decrease in lust but then it reverted that's likely this.
2. habit - after my first deworming I habitually gooned every day first week until noticed that I don't really want to and don't enjoy it that much, simply doing it as a habit. same is possible with you, you get habitually aroused by male furries instead of "real" lust, leftover xenagons affecting you must have been flushed by this time.
3. species giving you this fetish are not affected by albendazole only. this is likely if you didn't feel any changes in lust whatsoever. if you have taken a serious decision to rid yourself of fetishes, use other dewormers or combinations. combining dewormers gives stronger effect than taking them separately.
here's a good article with explanation, it doesn't seem zogged to me: https://www.clinicbarcelona.org/en/news/new-tablet-shows-promise-for-the-control-and-elimination-of-intestinal-worms

>>94532
It would take me too long to write down all the symptoms but the main things that caused me troubled was my POCD/HOCD, Fucked up gooning addictions and being heavily desensitized to faggots, trannies and other degenerates. My feces kinda look similar to this (https://www.reddit.com/r/Parasites_treatment/comments/z6yvmq/graphic_content_warning_are_those_some_kind_of/) but the doc said it might not be worms because they aren't white. However i shitted out something yesterday that pretty much seemed like a worm

>>94821
yes this is a very obvious sign of infection, combined with aches and faggotry. some doctors are (((against deworming))) or simply inexperienced and dismiss signs of parasites so the most reliable method is deworm on your own, even if you can't notice anything. parasites are good at hiding, you can notice them only with late stages/heavy infections.
did you fully get rid of fetishes after deworming?

>>93739 (OP)
what the fuck is deworming and why do worms give me fetishes?

I'm an autogynephile, it's basically the only thing I can jerk off to
>I first get exposed to tranny shit at around 10, nothing sexual but I get introduced to the concept and at the time I'm pro troon
>I notice that I have some sort of attraction to feeling feminine/dressing like a woman but I'm so young I don't quite understand why
>I keep seeing femboy memes and they slowly EPI me into liking it more and more
>I first start gooning at 15, mostly from reddit
>I understand why it's wrong by now but I can't stiop myself

It's been around 4 years since I started, I'm well aware of my condition and I'm trying to stop myself but it's incredibly difficult. I can't even look at certain female clothes because it fills me with sexual desire.

first found porn when i was maybe 7 searching "boobies" on google, and been addicted ever since

ive only ever tried to quit gooning in recent years but every time i try i end up making some excuse as to why its not that bad or i cant resist the urge and just say fuck it

>>94829
long story short they release chemicals which affect host's behavior. looks like I need to write shorter version of parasite pill pdf, there are people interested in topic but nobaldi wants to read 150 pages
>>94838
this sounds henious, good that you didn't troon out. now I wonder if deworming works against AGP. you should try it, I'm eager to know the results. if it does work we can make TTD real but by killing worms instead of troons

>>94915
I want to try deworming but I don't know what I should start with. Do you have any recommendations?

>>94962
ivermectin, albendazole and pyrantel, better if combined. it's a total wormnigger killer. (unless infection is deep and severe)

>>94822
I think the gooning addiction is gone but i can't feel 100% normal either but the lack of disgust is gone too but my disgust torwards degenerates isn't the same as before the horrors of the OCDs and addiction began. I should deworm more frequently doe

>>95197
then I congratulate you on this, you're not a slave of your dick anymore.
>i can't feel 100% normal either
can you elaborate?
>my disgust torwards degenerates isn't the same as before
maybe you are slightly desensitized after all the gooning? (in good sense) the most important thing is you can ignore them and be independent now
>before the horrors of the OCDs and addiction began
your story sounds interesting. please tell me more about how it all started, how was it going, what triggered this and how did you try to fix it before deworming. were there any events which could cause rapid infection in a small period of time? like severe food poisoning

Hungarian here, also suspecting I could've gotten EPId by GTA.
I appreciate the games for different things now. God, should some autists reverse engineer and open-source GTA IV pllllllleaaaase…

>>95267
how if you hate females and there are no furries in GTA?

I do now. It was somewhat less harsh in my younger years. I went into GTA because of its concept of being able to store a vehicle in a garage and enter and exit things. Could drop more 'tism on you if needed.

>>95276
how did you start hating females? and is it related to your fetishes?

I suppose I got blackpilled by some social media posts. It, in a way, did get into my fetishes by first making me into "huge furry mommies" (Lord, what a retarded sentence). About nine months ago, when I was quite unstable, my friend sent me a huge fat submissive tanuki slave. That snapped me in a way, as I previously banned doing things to outright NSFW content, just getting it on furotica and the like. Nowadays, I play the role of a big fat dominant male, which at times annoys the aforementioned friend as he has swings on what gender he's into while I'm actively against women IRL. There was ALSO ANOTHER MOLEHOLE that was my birthday. Ask me if you want to read that as well.