/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

>>86196 (OP)
I wish I looked like this and I wish I could say this

>>86196 (OP)
i agree, i wish i could fine one best friend and one wife to stick with me until i die, souls that are bound together in true loyalty and friendship
ive heard people make life long real loyal good friends in the military experiencing all sorts of hardships and fun together though im too much of a weak soyboy for the military so i wont personally join

I know that I wouldn't be satisfied with a casual friendship but at this point, I just need something. Everyday I see people with vast social circles enjoying their lives and I would kill to have a fraction of what they have.

I do have one decent friend, but we went our separate ways after high school and I barely see him anymore. I don't want him to feel pity for me because he knows I have no friends. When we do talk, he always mentions his friend who I think hates me because I made some unsavory jokes in a group chat with him once. He calls my friend a loser when he tells him he's hanging out with me and I wish my friend would stand up for me.

Every time I try to talk to people my age I can barely hold a conversation with them because Im so worried about what I should be saying, how I am coming across, etc. And even if they continue to talk to me, I feel so disconnected because I never seem to have much in common with them. I hate that everyone has to see me this way and I wish that I could just disappear.

I don't know whats wrong with me, I don't really think I have autism. I have some symptoms but I can understand social cues and pay attention to peoples expression closely. I also think I had an autism test when I was 13 and it came back negatively.

>>86200
The military and the bonds that come from it are also very different today because the same everyday modern people join it. Maybe you will find some who are disciplined and do it for a similar reason but most do it for the benefits.

I'm also in a similar circumstance. I'd even be content with only being in a romantic relationship, but it's most healthy to have a platonic relationship as well. The last genuine friendships I had were when I was age 11-12, before the friends and I would split off at the end of the school year. Ever since then, I've essentially been a clown/jester (not to the extent in which I'd humiliate myself, rather, I'd rely on shocking others). I have difficulty starting a friendship, for that I have yet to find others with my same interest, and I don't enjoy small talk. I'm optimistic though, and I've made some progress, as I do have a pen pal.

tsmt
i see my other friends have their own best friends who they always hang out with and i dont really have that, so i spent a lot of time alone and sometimes feel like my friends dont really appreciate me much

i like listening to this song even doe i cant really relate to it

>>86232
>but at this point, I just need something. Everyday I see people with vast social circles enjoying their lives and I would kill to have a fraction of what they have.
I don’t think you really want this if you are on here it probably means that there is some part of you that does fit with normal people. Im sure the universe will put someone in your life at some point but people like you and me arent made for these trivial normiegroid friendgroups. And i say this as a mildly social adjusted ‘teen get your charisma up but even then try to find people who are yknow not NPCs basically because it’s extremely empty talking to normies all day

>>86242
I guess I was trying to say that I wish I had never opened this pandoras box and ruined my phyche with all of this irony and cynicism. Its like theres this scar on you that you can never tell anyone about without certainly ruining your social life. I sometimes forget not to use terms or inside jokes associated with this part of the internet with the people I talk to and I just feel so gross.

How do you go about finding people who aren't NPCs? I sort of mask when I talk to people so I don't know how I would go about making them interested in talking to me without revealing too much about myself.

>>86239
Nice song, it does a good job of inspiring fomo in me.
Two songs I relate to are Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads and Normal Like You by Everclear

>>86236
Thats good you have a penpal, its much easier to represent yourself through text than speech.

I relate to this. I haven't been able to make a single deep connection with anyone since I was twelve.

I have a couple of friends, but nobody too close. The closest friend I have is an autist that I nerd out about politics and history with, but I don't think the friendship will go much further than that. Thats fine with me, I still enjoy spending time with him, but you need a variety of people that share different sets of interests that you have so you can talk about all the things you enjoy with people.

I'm the guy who dropped his psychopath friend a while ago, I mentioned it in some posts so I won't repeat it again. He was my friend since I was 11 and I'm now 18. I'm going to go to uni with 1 person I talk history/politics with and no other friends (i have some superficial friendships at school but i already know they will disappear), and the guy won't even be going to the same Uni as me. I also have the longing for a sense of brotherhood. I started skateboarding a couple months ago and I enjoy it, but sometimes I come across youtube videos of groups of young people doing it together and having fun, and alTHOUGH the people are happy and I'm happy for them, it makes me feel very empty inside, like I'm watching a childhood that I could have had, that I should have had, but instead I had little to no actual friends or moments to remember and I wasted it all. I will never be that age again, I will never have the opportunities I did then again, and that makes me very sad.

The point about everything being seen as gay is very real. Before I dropped him for the shit he'd done I would spend a lot of time with the psychopath friend, and I would get called gay for it a lot, I never did anything that could even be inferred as gay with him. In contrast some people on the rowing team would be piled up over each other under a tree at break times, playing smash or pass with male bodybuilders, but they were called gay less than I was. Maybe it was the friend that gave the faggot vibes, as he is a faggot and would ask everybody around him weird questions and even asked me if I wanted to have sex with him in a half joking manner which I chose to understand as a joke at the time and not get rid of him for being a fag. (Before one of you niggers ask, I did not accept, and I am not a faggot myself). I regret the time I wasted with him, and wish I had spent more time with other friends, maybe I would have some friends if I did.

<Words words words

>>86196 (OP)
>Everything is secretly gay now.
wrong. leftists and no-life faggots pretend the wholesome loving friends are faggots just because they wouldn't know what it feels like

>>86236
>>86256
is twelve the age the world goes to shit? i too haven't actually had a real friend since i was 12

i yearn for this kind of friendship too. its just unfortunate about how terrible it ends up plenty of times, especially with any autists from sites like this or autists in general: example, /pol/name fag and some literalwho nigger he met on the 'ru met IRL and then that nigger ended up randomly asking him to be fag lovers for no reason.

it is definitely harder to find real friends than it was back in the day… good luck 'teens