â„–86160[Quote]
personally i've never felt close to any of my family members, parents included
when people talk about hanging out with their family and making it their main reason to continue living, i can see it from a logical point of view as to why they do (having consistent, caring parents who actually gave a shit about your development, involving their lives around you) so of course they have great attachment to them
as to mine however, it's a bit less affectionate
i moved away from my native country when i was one so i only had consistent contact with my parents and sister, however my parents constantly fought and separated about 3-4 times, before finally divorcing when i was 12
i struggle to remember a lot about my upbringing, but i can summarise my direct family in this sense
my father was pretty aloof and not engaged with me at all, legit the only things i can remember is him letting him drive his car one time when i was 16 and helping me with homework a couple times, he gave child support and hung out with me at weekends for like a few hours, but i was essentially tagging along to chores and people he had to meet for business purposes/collecting shit and my mother who pretty much raised me was a narcy bitch who lost her shit like once a week, and had mood changes from the smallest things and always ranted on about "teaching me life" and "my parents did this (usually beatings) when you did this, consider yourself lucky you ungrateful rat"
i had probably hundreds of arguments and shouting matches with my mother over SNCA, and i had always seen her treat strangers a lot better than i did, people always said that i was so lucky to have a mother like her which always gave me whiplash
my sister, however i feel a bit guilty about considering i don't know much about her, apart from her failing education and sometimes did hard drugs to cope with her life circumstances and was raised with me, tho i never actually bonded with her a lot like a brother usually would
as for my extended family members, i barely knew anything about my grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins etc. though i sometimes think about the life i could've had chilling with my male cousins and just enjoying my youth with my family playing minecraft and whatever
im 20 now, and just recently heard that my uncle died and i didnt really feel anything when i heard this, now i feel like a sociopathic piece of shit but it just feels like im forcing myself to care about it. once i'll be at the funeral i'm going to feel so fucking weird about it, just like how i was with my grandparents' funerals
â„–86163[Quote]
I have exactly the same situation with my mother, except my parents aren't even divorced. She goes ballistic over everything and anything and emotionally abuses me all the time by ofc using the "my parents used to beat me, stop complaining", tries to force me to do shit I don't want, etc. I feel bad criticising her because she still did a lot for me, but I cannot bond with her and have been kinda avoiding her since I was like 13 as whenever I would exist in the same room I would get given a chore to do, told that I was lazy for not studying enough, or she would find a reason to start making fun of me. She would also be a bitch and try to go through my phone all the time, ev&doe I'm 18 and I never did anything bad she still occasionally says she should go through my phone, with the reasoning of "we pay for your phone bill so we have the right to go through your phone", regardless of the fact that my dad pays it and when I spoke to him about it he agreed that its silly to invade my privacy like that.
Onto my dad, I like talking to him about random SNCA like history, politics, vidya, that kinda stuff, but he has no power in the house. My mother basically decides everything. This is probably to do with my dad being incredibly disorganised and not knowing shit about whats going on with my school n shieet, but its still annoying because if I try to get his support against my mother, she will just say that his opinion doesn't matter since she does all the organising anyway. I'm probably a sperg so i'll go on long SNCA rants with my dad when a topic interests me, and then my mum will make fun of me for that and tell me things like "nobody is interested" or my least favourite, "stop talking like you know everything". This one really shits all over my mood for the rest of the day because I don't act like that, I will only talk about things that interested me enough that I went and researched it online, but apparently because I didn't live it I should shut my gob. I don't know any other way of speaking, and it sucks to be told by your own parent that they think you don't know shit and would be better off being quiet.
My mother's father is a real prick who rages out over everything, and I have no uncles. My father's dad died before I was born. I wish he was still alive as from what I heard about him he was a nice guy that I would have been able to bond with, we still have his collections of ammonites and arrowheads he found in tilled fields and he was interested in computers at the time. Every time I go see my extended family (they all live abroad like yours) I am always surrounded by women, I only have a sister as a sibling, and my father can't stay the duration of the summer holiday so I end up being the only male there. Women have so much drama and so many mood swings, it sucks being there, I wish I had more male figures to look up to in my family. I have no male siblings and no cousins at all, so I missed out on that too.
Don't feel sociopathic for going to your uncles funeral. It isn't weird to force yourself to care about it, because of course you want to feel something when a family member dies, but if you never knew them much, how are they different from anybody?