>>82910 (OP)My advice, is to focus on composing and preserving yourself. Having shortly attended college this past fall (it was a party school), I can second some of your complaints. What helped me composed myself was making time to enjoy nature, and also reading (the library is one of the few things I miss). It's natural to find others repulsive, and not appealing. Big crowds are short term in regards to fulfillment, as most individuals that are in them are mendacious/arrogant/annoying. It's better to have a small amount of friends, as it's far more intimate and strongly bonded (even if it's only one). You just have to remain calm, and be determined (which is the most difficult part), that's what makes one a man, to retain who they are, and to be able to reassure themselves. This is what helps comfort and guide me. Hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck