/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

>>78531 (OP)
does asmr help you though? or does it just make you feel reminded of non-existent comfort

>>78531 (OP)
Can you further elaborate?

>>78533
No it does not help at all, it's short term gratification but it makes you feel like shit
>>78534
I don't want people to find the video. It's not egregious but it implies stuff and the rest of the channel is niggerhell.

>>78535
I meant to elaborate on your feelings right now and why you feel this is the worst. I don't care to know the details of some loli ASMR video.

>>78535
whats your situation 'teen?

>>78531 (OP)
Listen to mommyasmr or something, to not be a branigger

you will be fine bro you realised it was some wierd shit and you stopped watching you dont have to freak out

>>78537
>>78538
Oh, well my life it pretty terrible right now in a very generic way, I have a dead end job, no friends, no girlfriend, etc. etc. But being "in my feels" so to speak and then being hit with the realization that I have been listening to what is basically a pedophilic fetish for the past 10 minutes is fucking me up really bad right now. I'm already a neurotic guy but right now I feel like I'm about to fucking puke.

>>78539
not op but asmr is ass nigga. it makes me feel even more lonely and it wouldnt be the person im interested in

>>78540
It's also just that I have to be reminded that this shit exists and has a large audience

>>78541
You're blameless. You didn't know it was pedophilic and the video aroused no pedophilic urges in you because you weren't seeking that kind of content. What do you not like about your life though?

>>78541
the fact you're having a visceral reaction is good 'teen. you should be disgusted at this shit because it is fucking disgusting. you shouldnt feel like a pedophile because you're not. do you have any issues in finding friends or is it problems with the people themselves?

>>78542
Ik but for him its a good cope

>>78549
it isnt good though. he said it fucking ruins him a few minutes after his gratification

>>78546
No friends, no girlfriend, no education, terrible job, my life makes my parents sad
>>78547
I've never really been able to connect with anyone my whole life, I haven't had any friends since elementary school.
>>78549
It's a terrible cope and I don't recommend it to anyone, the only reason I was watching it is because I'm at my lowest right now, and as you can see it only made things significantly worse.

>>78553
do you live in a shitty place (ghetto shit) or something 'good'

>>78555
Suburbs around major city, so right near niggersville. I'm lead to believe this is how most people live.

>>78557
is your job social at all or do you work in some place like customer service

>>78559
Why all the questions, you make a man nervous

>>78561
>to datamine you

i forget his name but an author essentially describes 'secondary socialization'. its essentially friends through shit like school, clubs, etc. its why its hard to get friends after school sometimes since sometimes your friends become your 'spaces' per say
i ask all of these to figure out if you have those spaces or if its entirely gangbangers. if you're into ANY shit or want to be into any shit there might be clubs or something similar that you could maybe meet people through?

>>78562
My only social interaction is with my coworkers at work. While I get along just fine with them, I don't connect with them at all. All of my socialization, and frankly all of my life, is an act. I grew up very stunted, never learned how to properly communicate or socialize naturally, so I had to teach myself artificially . In doing that I am now in a situation where all of my social behaviors are entirely separate from my actual being, if that makes sense.

>>78541
at least you didn't goon to it, i fucked up with some pretty bad shit in the past (not real 'p doe) and i still don't feel exactly right with myself

>>78563
>never learned how to properly communicate or socialize naturally so i had to teach myself artifically. my behaviours are seperated from my actual being if that makes sense
i was raised alone for most of my life so we kept moving. by 10th grade i was essentially forced to 'learn' and 'study' social norms and essentially created a 'social' persona which does not reflect me whatsoever. is this similar?

>>78565
Yes, exactly! I'm glad someone understands. Though frankly I feel like I'm putting on a persona at all times. Its like even my own thoughts aren't mine, but some character I made up.

My current state can basically be summed up as coping with the fact that I am a net negative on the world. That is to say, my existence causes more harm than it does good, and I would literally be better off dead. I know that one ought not quantify the value of human life that way, and that our lives have a kind of trancendant quality that is above our worldly "output" of good. But still, the constant reminder that I am of no use to this world is hard to bare.

I have spent as long as I can remember contemplating suicide. I've even tried it, unsuccessfully obviously. I've spend too stints in the mental hospital which didn't do me any good. But at this point I don't think I will kill myself. All of the talk of "Oh you have so much to live for, think of the people who love you" has failed me completely due to the simple fact that it is not true. There are simply no people in this world that would be negatively affected should I go. The one thing keeping me from killing myself is my fear of eternal damnation. For the time being I am utterly convinced that if I kill myself rather than wait this out, I will go to hell. So that's what my life is, waiting to die.

In the meantime though, I don't think I will ever outgrow my intense distaste for this world. Especially if incidents like these ones keep happening to me. This world is no good anyways. It's hard to live with that.

>>78567
honestly? i hate to sound like an asshole but your situation is better than mine.
you have an actual job of some sort, and unlike me you never actually recklessly gooned to tranime/drawn 'p. (apparently i have pOCD or something like that, but i don't really care as i still feel disgusted with myself)
regardless, i don't think there's a real reason for you to hate yourself over this particular mistake

>>78568
It's fine, my situation is honestly not that bad, I'm just a neurotic mess. Though I have looked at some egregious shit like that, especially when I was younger, so we are in the same boat there.
>regardless, i don't think there's a real reason for you to hate yourself over this particular mistake
This isn't really about the original incident anymore, I'm just being self-piteous. This happens all the time, I'm prone to over reaction.

>>78569
i understand where you're coming from, there hasn't been a single day where i haven't thought of my mistakes.
>Though I have looked at some egregious shit like that, especially when I was younger, so we are in the same boat there.
for me, it's especially pretty bad since i last had some mistakes with that sort of shit last year when i was 20.
i was only able to give up porn a while ago, but almost 5 years of it combined with OCD related compulsions nearly destroyed my mind and self-esteem.
my recently best lived moments are related to thinking of my childhood memories before any of that happened, i suppose i shouldn't be making this thread about me though.
nonetheless, i also have a problem with constant rumination. it can definitely be hard to give up, i'll try to find distractions but they don't usually last very long.
if it makes you feel any better, i can say that you aren't alone on this

Sorry to hear you’re dealing with that raisin. I remember listening to that stuff too, and I have enough experience to really explain why it’s bad for you.
<
First of all, you’re giving your brain the reward of socializing when you really aren’t. This was especially bad for me, as I have a tendency of making up memories, so the day after listening to that shit my brain would daydream and drift to stuff like “you should talk to her again” only for me to snap out of it and remember I never actually had a real conversation with her.
<
Second of all, because you aren’t actually interacting with her, you are letting her take over your role. Either you get used to not taking at all, which is bad for socializing, or you start to adapt to/accept the words she is responding to as your own. The latter will literally rot your mind and brainwash you.
<
Lastly, since ASMR is a relatively small market compared to other similar things, you will have less options to choose from for your particular interest, and this be pushed into listening to new stuff you would otherwise never listen to. This is essentially the same process as desensitization when gooning, it gets way worse when adding gooning to the mix.
<
Remember that ASMR is softcord porn created by DA JOOOOOOS to mind control you. Think of a greedy merchant every time you interact with any type of pornography.

ion even kno what 2 say brah,double check next time if u can

>>78580
>you start to adapt to/accept the words she is responding to as your own. The latter will literally rot your mind and brainwash you.
Holy shit I've never thought about it like that

>>78531 (OP)
never goon. if you keep gooning you'll eventually end up gooning to stuff that will make you sick looking back on it. if you keep raping your dopamine receptors and get bored of whatever you're looking at you'll find something more degenerate. thats how trannies are made anon. NEVER GVVN
>Oh, well my life it pretty terrible right now in a very generic way, I have a dead end job, no friends, no girlfriend, etc. etc.
also it cannot be that bad nigger. you're pretty much like everyone else here. just find better ways to occupy yourself

best i can say is find some chuds to start chudding out with (xitter, [careful for faggots] here. or the random aryan ear-raping the entire team by screaming "nigger" or singing EPSTEIN FUCK NIGGERS)
aldoe i don't even hangout with anyone at all, i just cope by watching anime, TV, or gaming for however many hours in the day i can sit down without falling asleep. working out occasionally so i don't become a fat nigger <- a good way to cope

>>78566
hi im back
yeah i feel the exact same way. its like fucking switching between people (not in the sense of having multiple personalities, but 'thinking' the correct shit my mask is supposed to think and react accordingly.)

You are a dirty pedophile. Kill yourself.

>>78625
I wasn't gooning but I get the idea.

>>78625
I was also suffering from this problem again here:
>>78612 (OP)

>>78539 isaac is that you

poast videio ples saar