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File: Neutral_Markiplier.png 📥︎ (6.61 KB, 600x800) ImgOps

 â„–77838[Quote]

Schizoniggerbabble here. Hello ill introduce my problems and might even use this thread as a log/journal to track my daily progress. Jannies if you dont like this rnca, feel free to delete it. To anyone reading this, im a boring person and i tend to yap alot so i dont recommend. Mostly making this thread for myself.
I think im depressed. I hate most parts of myself but found this community comforting, I agree about most things that this community holds as values. Even before joining I knew all sorts of lgbt crap were mental illnesses, globalism and nihilist soyboy cuck ideologies need to be destroyed. Also I dislike 4cuck/'cord extremists who are pedos and nihilists, i dont like the censorship of the mainstream net also dont like the extremism of the anarchist side of the net so this is the perfect spot. Im also pretty lonely irl and I use the internet to not go insane being alone. I created previous threads about not wanting to quit but i just couldnt, i could only settle for using this in a healthy way. Anyway I think im depressed and a complete fuck up in life, the only cope is that im 16 so I have a little slither of time i can use to recover. And another problem I have is I feel like ill never belong here, im non-white, which is just one of the many things i hate myself for. My exact race is not important but im not black or brown but im not european at all, you dont even know my rnca ethinicity and i dont think chuds really hate us, but still im non white and feel excluded. Im a very fragile and sensitive person so when I see any racial hated against my people, i feel sad that im born this way and ill never be able to change it even if i work hard for it. I ruminate on this often, I like to imagine neo nazis or kkk members finding me and hanging me, im suicidal but getting murdered sounds like suicide without the shame part. I ruminate on such delusional thoughts often. But im trying to stop. Not just my race but other actual failures like me failing classes can also make me want to ack. I did many many horrible things for years while failing to be a Christian, im ashamed to even think about God knowing what I did but I felt his warmth, and ill try my best. Anyway for actual problems that affect my life, my actual life not imaginery bullshit like my race, i have low grades and close to having to apply to universities, I procrastinate extremely often probably due to dopamine issues and I feel exhausted. I have to work on some math and physics exercises and im dumb as rocks on those subjects but i will keep trying. Anyway, my goals are to stop self hating, be productive and get close to God. Sorry if this was rnca or too stupid, you can simply ask me to stop updating this thread. Its 5am now and I have a few hours to do my math exercises

 â„–77840[Quote]

>>77838 (OP)
What changed? I procrastinated and lived like a loser for years, how do I expect to change unless theres a difference?
There is a difference now, I finally understood my psychology, I really thought I can simply man up and beat my laziness with willpower not understanding I was depressed and having delusional thoughts. Now that I admitted the problem I actively put out solutions, now I feel much better. Now I can be produtive as well as knowing my problem and fixing it

 â„–77842[Quote]

This reads like it was written by a 14yo who just discovered stupid ideologies

 â„–77843[Quote]

>>77842
thats why im avoiding politics and only focusing on my personal habits and actually working on myself

 â„–77917[Quote]

File: 72800 - SoyBooru.png 📥︎ (127.3 KB, 676x1021) ImgOps

Hey bro you’re gonna be okay. You sound very self aware and I’m sure you’re gonna be fine, even if things don’t seem that way right now. I don’t think there’s much of a reason to care for your race, I know this is le scary alt right website but there’s a lot of people that aren’t white (me included) so I think that as long as you’re not a retard people won’t care (and it doesn’t seem like you are to me, so you’re fine).
<
School also sucked for me, I too can’t do math for shit but I managed to pass with base grades, and I think you can do it too. High school isn’t that serious and most teachers will just let you pass even if you’re lacking in a couple of subjects (might depend on your country doe, idk how strict they are). It’s ok. Grades in high school don’t mean anything anyway.
<
You VVILL love yourself, you VVILL get productive, you VVILL get close to god, but most importantly you VVILL keep living. You’re not alone, I mean it. I struggle with most of the things you wrote about
Good luck ‘teen

 â„–77931[Quote]

File: Blessed.png 📥︎ (624.4 KB, 618x625) ImgOps

>>77917
Thank you. I know that my race doesn't really matter in reality, and it's a non-problem. But I heard depression warps reality and makes people ruminate and obsess over tiny issues or issues which dont matter. I should be stressing over real problems like laziness and low grades, not some nonsense.

>Grades in high school don’t mean anything anyway.
I still have to try so I can prove to myself that I can accomplish the goals I set out to accomplish. High school grades are such an easy thing to be good at compared to real-life challenges. Its straight forward and simple, do schoolwork and study for exams.
>You VVILL love yourself, you VVILL get productive, you VVILL get close to god, but most importantly, you VVILL keep living. You’re not alone, I mean it. I struggle with most of the things you wrote about
I hope the same things for you. God bless you

For the journal thing, today was good. I didn't do anything productive extensively, but I went to my math practice and had to use my brain a bit, so its atleast something. At the same time, i didnt have ruminating negative thoughts or any engagement in sinful stuff, so it feels good. I wasnt really productive today because i didnt sleep for about 2 days but now im gonna go to sleep since my sleep schedule is now reset and healthy from today.

 â„–78028[Quote]

>>77838 (OP)
is it okay to use this thread as a journal for myself? If anyone doenst want this, I can simply stop replying and let this die out. Today was a typical shitty day, I spent all of time doomscrolling and now its time to sleep, laziness is my biggest problem, it leaves you feeling confused and guilty and you scroll even more stuck in a loop

 â„–78029[Quote]

>>78028
not sure if i can offer any advice, but i think it's fine if you use it as a journal. it's your thread after all

 â„–78030[Quote]

>>78029
well im just talking about the board, my thread might be some rnca nuisance or something

 â„–78032[Quote]

>>78030
i'm not personally bothered by it

 â„–78058[Quote]

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>>77838 (OP)
for my background, i grew up and live in some rnca post soviet churkastan ВСЖ country. Rampant corruption, alcoholism, violence, local wannabe putin with his oligarchs, endurance and tolerance of suffering and a weirdly homo obsession with gay hazing and abuse. If I was born in eastern europe ill atleast be white but I live in the worst of 2 worlds, swarthiness of the 3rd world and the depression of the post soviet space. Being non-white means we're less developed than what westerners consider shitholes like moldova,belarus and russia, we're actually poorer. I notice non-whiteness everyday, i see wannabe niggers screaming and shouting with complete unawareness about how annoying they are, nigger tier addiction and violence with alcohol and general stupidity. I cant help but hate my nation like a cuck for foreigners. Is there anyway i can change this way of thinking or accept the objective reality that my people are retarded and inferior? I will also have to serve in the army for 1 year to be beaten around and shown what country i live in and what my place is as a common peasant, ive heard of brutal and sometimes even gay hazing so I will try my best to prevent going to the army

 â„–78061[Quote]

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>>78058
as im writing this, its during the middle of night, and i heard some drunk screaming and beating his gf, he was incredibly loud too.
Personally as i said i was lazy today, but tommorow is another opportunity to retry. The guy is still at it, i hear loud banging and screaming

 â„–78171[Quote]

File: ClipboardImage.png 📥︎ (126 KB, 1199x1189) ImgOps

>>77838 (OP)
well, it was nice venting here and thanks to the people who listened here. And this is my 99999999th attempt at quitting the sharty and the internet because its too toxic for a sensitive person like me and the negativity is addicting. This time, something feels different, like my dreams are really up ahead. Well goodbye everyone, hope you can quit your bad habits and pursue your dreams too

 â„–78174[Quote]

>im non-white
im sorry for your loss OP
>Even before joining I knew all sorts of lgbt crap were mental illnesses, globalism and nihilist soyboy cuck ideologies need to be destroyed
honorary hitler status o algo. . .
>Anyway I think im depressed and a complete fuck up in life, the only cope is that im 16 so I have a little slither of time i can use to recover.
it isn't over goy, you'll find your way. just try to find ways to not be a terminally online nigger. making cash also helps
>I did many many horrible things for years while failing to be a Christian, im ashamed to even think about God knowing what I did but I felt his warmth
try not to be too hard on yourself, there was only one man without sin. just don't keep being retarded and you can repent

chud. it isn't hardly over. you can give up when you have a norwood 3 and are 30 years old- just imagine what you have to do in life- think like goy cattle for a moment, the goy wants to see the world and do things and NOT contemplate jewish world-hegemony on literalwho imageboards. best i can say is try to better yourself in some way that can get you confident enough to not feel like a retard or something so you can actually have a life. i say this as a depressed chud myself

 â„–78190[Quote]

>>78171
dumb idea (not reccomended from me)
You could join russias army; then you could live in russia, a slightly more civilized place; and with the pay, you could even try multliple times to immigrate to the EU afterwards
(if you will become a good and useful immigrant there; if not, then dont immigrate)

 â„–78243[Quote]

>>78174
Thanks, and i am planning to be rich and to have a high earning job.
>you can give up when you have a norwood 3 and are 30 years old
Ironically one thing I like about my race is that we have less balding rates and look younger.
>is try to better yourself in some way that can get you confident enough
Yeah thanks, im planning to do that, all i need is consistency and discipline
>>78190
Im not risking dying a horrifying slow death by a drone just to move to a less crappier place. It is possible to move to a better country through other means like universities or getting a job there by having a strong history, yeah ill do my best to be a useful immigrant in any country that i will be going to

 â„–78246[Quote]

>non-white
Actual aryan here (trvth) race is not everything, it sure plays into the intelligence and psychology of a person, but it is not the end all be all, the human brain is incredible complex and akin to a muscle new neuronal pathways can be formed and developed
>knowing about societal rot
It is very good to acknowledge the state of the world, it shows that you see the patterns and can form an opinion outside of the mainstream one, but don't let the thought eat you from within, this societal collapse it had happened before and as Evola said you must "ride the wave and remain firm in your principles", seeing that you are only 16, you don't have any concrete principles yet, you will forge them with time, most important thing is to learn at every opportunity.
>depressed
Not unlikely seeing your situation, as I said above you must accept that you we're born non-white and create your own principles for a strong mind, but the mind resides in your body, and your body is also extremely complex, it needs exercise, the right amount of calories, macro nutrients and micro nutrients, I suggest you start exercising if you are not already doing so, you could start small with long walks and bodyweight exercises if you don't want or can't go to a gym, about nutrition see this channel: https://www.youtube.com/@BenWinney, very good source of information for a start
<reddit space
Lastly you need to socialize, through school or churches would be ideal, try to act like you are a normgroid while also keeping the Fucking Based Hitlerian Aryan Mindset
<another reddit space
Excuse the long babble but I belive that you can and VVIL succeed despite your misfortunes soyteen, NEVER give up and NEVER ACK

 â„–78247[Quote]

>>78246
thanks for the replies everyone. It gives a lot of motivation and support.
>ride the wave and remain firm in your principles
I like to think my principles are the principles of Christianity.
>he human brain is incredible complex and akin to a muscle new neuronal pathways can be formed and developed
Yeah agreed, im planning to maximise my brain's potential by learning all that i can, things like math and CS.
>I suggest you start exercising if you are not already doing so
In my daily schedule on paper, im supposed to walk outside for 30 minutes everyday, and it does help. It feels nice and peaceful away from the internet's overstimulation when outside
>I belive that you can and VVIL succeed despite your misfortunes soyteen
Thanks, I hope success and happiness for you too

 â„–78248[Quote]

>>78246
for the rest of the stuff i didnt reply to, i took notes and agreed with it

 â„–78273[Quote]

>>77838 (OP)
A mental note ill make: Dont seek others approval and love excessively, dont be desperate for acceptance and love from people who just dont care about you, its like a stupid high schoolers mentality trying to join the cool kids. At the end of everything, only God matters. God loves you and you must love Him back, when God loves you, other people are nothing in comparison. This can apply to a lot of things, to the racial thing to a person who you love irl who rejected you to a friend group you feel alienated in or anything like that. Humans fundamentally are weak and fragile beings, even from a non-religious perspective humans are simply nothing in a vast empty world no different from bacteria, human love doesnt matter logically, so live ur life not basing your self worth on something that doesnt matter

 â„–78282[Quote]

>>78273
i dont know as a Christian if its okay to stay isolated. I feel like an unlovable sperg, im not autistic but completely socially retarded, everyone i try to be friends with just doesnt talk to me or pretends not to hear me, maybe i do talk quietly or mumble but physically it feels impossible for me to not stutter or talk quietly. I feel like I should dedicate 100% of myself to my goals but at the same time im supposed to love other humans


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