/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

>>76556 (OP)
Why does loneliness hurt you? What do you think you’re missing? Why is it essentially to have what you think you’re missing?

>>76559
Honestly I'm not sure. That's just kind of how I describe the feeling but maybe its something adjacent or completely different. I guess I would say in general I just feel socially unfulfilled and it probably has something to do with my parents. My mom and my dad hate each other and have been split up since I was young, and I used to go to both of their houses but one day my mom just pushed me too far and I had to leave (for context, she's a diagnosed schizophrenic and still blames my dad for "giving" it to her ev&oe its probably genetic). My dad is cool but I think we're both kind of autistic so he doesn't really understand my interests. I still visit my mom now that our relationship is better but its really hard because she just has certain tendencies that remind me of who she is. Growing up neither of them paid a huge amount of attention to me because my mom was always partying and my dad was always gaming. They don't like that I wasn't a football player and always quiet and drawing. Our relationships aren't bad, they just kind of make me sad. I think the feeling I'm describing is more so like feeling underappreciated or unloved, and not that I think I should be worshipped it just becomes demotivating when youre pushing yourself to do so much and it's hard to tell when or if its even going to pay off.

>>76595
one day itll pay off. you need to fight for what you want

>>76606
It comes in waves, I'm not feeling as bad anymore after going to work and thinking about it. It kinda sucks always being somewhere between depressed when I have downtime and exhausted when I don't. I mean everybody struggles with motivation but I feel like I've never struggled this much with caring about stuff like my hygiene (which isn't horrible I mostly mean my room being disorganized and stuff like that) or my future. I haven't played videogames in anywhere near the same volume pretty much since the summer, I mean like once every two weeks, sometimes longer stretches. I've also just lost a lot of my temper, I used to never get so angry but after like half of my shifts I end up driving home screaming in my car and trying not to lose it.

Anyway here's some random assets since my game is kind of all that keeps me going