/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

Part 2: Growing up, I thought I was really smart, and I eventually just used that to stick with my personal identity. Now, as someone who is 16 and in high school, I have an even more heightened self awareness of what's going on in the world, as I did when I was 4 or so. Being really smart is not just about solving problems, it's questioning the questions that solve the problems and then questioning that and it's an infinite loop. That's what it means to be philosophically gifted. Now, I just experience self doubt loops and it causes me to become significantly underconfident in my abilities, even though I try and tell myself that I am smart, my brain rejects the information almost instantaneously, and people say "try and think positively", but I have exceptional thinking speed so when a negative thought flows in, it replicates, over and over again and out competes the positive thoughts and becomes the natural basis overtime as the loop strengths more and more stronger each time. It's like a virus, fighting the good bacteria, when you're sick it's not doing a good job. And each time a new bacteria replicates, it basically resets the natural state to "think negatively about yourself", and to be honest, nothing truly breaks my brain for an extended period of time as long as I have the resources, my brain and some external information, and given enough time, I can solve it much faster then many other people. I don't mean to be overly egotistical, but this ability has caused me great pain my entire life, depression, suicidal thoughts, isolation, lonlliness, and I just want an outlet and people who I can talk to rationally, or just get all my thoughts out in a large piece of text. I never really experienced the feeling of "thinking" as a whole, It feels like I'm not even thinking, or just very slightly even as I'm writing this, and then comes the cognitive dissonance, that really sucks. I limit myself, and for short periods of times, I am able to overcome this cognitive dissonance, but it's a very short timeframe and then my overall confidence in my intellectual abilities has plummeted back down to negative and "You're not that smart", I know this isn't true, but my brain rejects information, this is probably somewhat trauma induced as well, but I believe there is a way I can overcome it, and I search for ways every day. I've talked to ChatGPT's and AI's for hours because I don't have any real friends who would be able to coherently comprehend the things I say, sure I have friends but they act like they don't understand a damn word I say when I act slightly intelligent. As for other aspects, I'm nearly good at anything I put my mind to, and this may have some slight correlation in some way but both my parents are very intelligent people with gifted level IQ, and they are gifted in their own way. My dad with computers and math, and my mom with language and arts. My dad is very similar to me, in the analytical, and pattern seeking aspects and being gifted isn't always a gift, it's also a curse. I am not able to verbally express these thoughts in person to the extent I can when I can type it or write it down. When you're highly intelligent, you have heightened self awareness and you can see through multiple perspectives, much more then most "average" people. Also, you're more aware of what you don't know, so versus an average/below average person's intellectual capabilities, for them the world is how they construct the global image in their own head and most of the time they're dumb and blissfully unaware. For a smart person, they're hyperaware of what they don't know, more so then what they do know and they base it upon the judgement that 'I'm not smart', or 'This was way too easy, why should I be able to claim credit for doing this task that was much harder for the average person? I must've missed something.' Highly intelligent people would experience this on a daily basis I assume, because based on my experiences with highly intelligent people, we all have similar traits and different traits based on which level we are on, but growing up I was severely isolated. I may not be a genius who can do advanced calculus by age 7, but I am a profoundly cognitively gifted person who would love to help others, and wish others were like me, and I wish that I had someone to look up to at an intellectual standpoint. It's a curse because you can never truly turn off your brain. My English isn't full developed yet so please don't judge my spelling errors because I know I made some. I'm still formulating my identity.
Thank you very much if you read this all. I'm in great need of support, and I'm happy to help anyone if they need a friend or support too, you're not alone.

stupid nigger

give me your 'cord so i can make You do My homework

smart aryan

>highschooler's philosophy
you are not a genius you are just autistic
As a 16 year old ancientGOD you should be worried about learning, reading nonfiction & the bible, and gaining experiences.

yeah I can relate to this a bit except the fact that I'm not a bitch about it

i can relate to that except i'm retarded, more seriously listen to him

>>72029 ,there's great fiction book doe

>>72020 (OP)
Whoever made this blogpost is just ADHD not intelligent.

>>72029
tsmt, become unreasonably afraid that you're too old to live the life you want to live at a young age and burn out your fuse on any effort towards anything because realising you will be in your mid 20s by the time it's over already feels like it's too late and then become an insufferable incel faggot shitting up every single board. That is the only proper use of your potential at this stage OP.

>>72039
reading fiction is useful for learning languages (spergs like OP and I already have a massive vocabulary before middle school dough) otherwise you are wasting your time when there are better ways to relax. Reading classic literature such as Homer or Shakespeare might be worth your time if you like that.

>>72021
> I just want an outlet and people who I can talk to rationally
Thats not even the goal of language at all.
You've read too many books and this has biased your way of how communication is supposed to work; books explain or describe more or less completely, otherwise there's no way for a reader to understand the context.
Most of real communication happens inside that context, and it doesnt need to be explained.
You feel a need to express yourself because you think thats what language is for, meanwhile the crackhead of the side of the road has had the exact same revelations through drugs but will never tell you because he doesnt know how, or because he assumes everyone else knows the same things he does.
A lot of 'stupid' people are like that.

Watch out with verbal intelligence, because it doesnt actually correlate with problem solving; you're just above average at justifying how smart you are.
If you feel you have a 'great' idea then try to explain it in writing as simply as possible and wait a day.
Every time I've done this I realized it was a generic, tame, middle-of-the-bell-curve thought that never really deserved expression in the first place.
>I've talked to ChatGPT's and AI's for hours because I don't have any real friends who would be able to coherently comprehend the things I say,
They dont either, it just gives you a dopamine hit.

>>72064
True, in real life a lot comes from the context, but that doesn't mean language or background knowledge is superfluous. Complex ideas still need clear explanations, examples, and a clear structure. Do you know your IQ? You seem unusually intelligent for this forum. Are you perhaps only wise because you're older?

I symphatize with your thoughts and feelings , almost like it was out of my own head (the exaggerated pattern finding for instance, example: I intensively identify repeating words and phrases in other people’s speech and writing). My uncertainty in anything I encountered troughout my life reached astronomical levels to a point where mental health issues appeared and self esteem plummeted. Would you perhaps be interested in connecting more intimately via a social network? (I suggest telegram which I prefer but cord is also availbale if necessary)

>>72020 (OP)
>>72021
All those words to say you're autistic and socially retarded 🥀🥀🥀

>>72066
> Are you perhaps only wise because you're older?
I am wise because I failed. I thought I was smart and then I turned into an adult. Brutal.
>but that doesn't mean language or background knowledge is superfluous.
No but that context comes from a certain type of use, and if you're only familiar with one type of use its harder to understand another.
Imagine I learn english through poetry and then try to read a physics textbook. I wouldnt understand shit.


It doesn't really take any intelligence at all to structure things, you just apply whatever framework is already in use.
For example: very paper has an introduction, methodology, data, conclusion and a bibliography section.
Every paragraph in a section has a PIE structure: Point, Information, Explanation. Usually a citation or a graph referral too.
So structure is actually the easiest part, they just dont teach it in high school.

>Do you know your IQ? You seem unusually intelligent for this forum.
Nobaldi remembers the inane bait I post.
>>72077
Diddyblud found a groomin target ;skull;

>>72083
Used TWO reddit spaces award.

>>72021
retarded nigger talks to ai becaue hes so insufferable that no one wants to be friends with him

>>72020 (OP)
>>72021
all the things you've said feel like you read somewhere that you have a slightly higher IQ and now you feel the need to express how fucking genius you are. i mean it's fairly well written so I assume you aren't some 79 IQ shitskin

I also understand that being stuck amongst stupid niggers as a slightly more intelligent chud is a very painful situation. On my high school it's those standard disposable niggers, that lack any sort of drive, hobbies, personality or originality.

>sorry for my ESL ahh

>>72083
I understand what you mean. The OP is trapped in his own world because he has no one to talk to and therefore considers himself some kind of super-brain, since there's nothing in his life to compare him to. That's the typical pseudo-intellectual phenomenon on Reddit. Can you describe your experiences in more detail? What brought you down from your high horse?

>>72090
>What brought you down from your high horse?
Parents divorced. Started skipping class and smoking.
I still thought then that I was megasmart, but after I graduated and somehow got into a community college the first semester of math showed me I didnt know shit.
Also seeing your bank account slowly drain money month after month is truly an experience.
Thought I'd just get a job, but got rejected everywhere (even for the most menial wageslave shit)
Becoming an adult is like a car crash, you thought your life was going one way but then a retard nigger runs a red light and you t-bone his front door only to fly through the windshield.
All thats certain after is that at some point you'll hit the asphalt and crush your skull but you cant really tell when.
(I suppose you oughtta to enjoy the ride until then, and stop caring about where you're heading or something)
Brutal.