>>69595 (OP)Yeah ive feel the same way, its like having a parasite forced onto you and confused at all times on how to get rid of it, ive been reading this book “the freedom model” since ive heard its a better verison of the easy peasy recently i went thru some hard times in june and ive just been really fucked up. Most of the self hatred i have is gone but i still feel fucked up every time i do it which is like 1-2 a week