/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

The word "incel" has, in recent years (especially following the shooting rampages of Elliot Rodger and Alek Minassian), entered the public lexicon. Once a rather esoteric term used primarily on the most fevered swamps of the internet, "incel" culture has since permeated into the mainstream, and its miasmic influence can be felt on virtually every single corner of the internet. In the past, I wrote an article making fun of femcels (the female equivalent of incels) - in particular, the infamous femcel site Ovarit - but I have not yet written an article about the much more repugnant (and infinitely more dangerous) male incels who were the progenitors of every other toxic "-cel" movement. Whereas femcels are mostly just a harmless sideshow (with certain notable exceptions, of course), the same definitely cannot be said of their male counterparts.

If you're a boomer who isn't in the loop, "incel" is short for "involuntary celibate". Essentially, incels are petulant manchildren who angrily blame women for the fact that they supposedly can't get laid. I say "supposedly" because, in reality, they could actually get laid (and it wouldn't even require very much effort on their part). Do you wanna know why incels believe that they can't get laid? In reality, it's not because all women unanimously refuse to touch them. Rather, it's actually because incels universally have an absolutely ridiculous idea of the perfect woman that they think that they're entitled to. They won't settle for any woman who isn't a blonde-haired, blue-eyed supermodel with far-right political views, at least 6 feet tall, at least DD cup breasts, under the age of 18, no tattoos, no piercings, no makeup, no male friends, and has never kissed another man before. Well, guess what, neckbeards? You will never find such a woman, because such a woman does not even exist - and, even if she did, you can rest that she would absolutely never go anywhere near you. Incels don't want to work for anything in their lives and are violently angry that they can't get a ridiculously perfect underage girl who will clean their shitted underwear and blow them while they play Overwatch 2.

If you're an incel, it's purely your own fault. Even the ugliest and most repulsive men can still get laid - usually because they have sex with equally ugly and repulsive women. You really want to have sex so bad? Do that. Oh, you refuse to? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Hell, ugly men can even score very attractive women if they don't act like disgusting psychopaths. Women, on average, tend to be much less superficial than men, and women generally care much more about a prospective partner's personality than they do about one's appearance (hence why you much more frequently see unattractive men with attractive women than you see attractive men with unattractive women). Case in point: Elliot Rodger. He was incredibly handsome (and also very rich), so why didn't women like him? Perhaps because he acted like a psychopathic serial killer - just like most whiny incels act like. So much for the oft-repeated incel claim that women only care about looks and money.

So, no, incels: you will never be loved by anyone, ever. This is not because "all women are evil whores" or because you're not a seven-foot-tall, square-jawed, muscular "gigachad". No, it's because you are a profoundly repulsive creep and you refuse to change that. As stated before, even repulsive and ugly men can still get laid with relative ease. I mean, for fuck's sake, even fucking Christian Weston Chandler has a girlfriend. How does it feel to know that you are officially more pathetic than Chris-chan?