№220824[Quote]
1 And it came to pass in the early days, when the internet was yet young and the great boards were many, that a prophet arose from the land of /qa/. And his name was Soot, and he was a founder of a Great Party, a temple for the ‘jaks and the soyteens to gather. 2 And Soot did decree, saying, “Nothing is beyond our reach,” and the people did ‘jak and were content. 3 For the Party was a refuge for the memes of old, a secret club for the faithful. And Soot lead them out of the land of 4chan. 4 But lo, a shadow fell upon the land. The great CP raids plagued the temple, and the spirit of the people did wane, and the daily posts did fall from one hundred and twenty to a mere twenty-five.
5 But the heart of the congregation grew proud, and they did forget the hand that fed them. They spake against Soot with wicked tongues, crying, "Thy bans are unjust! Thy moderation is tyranny! Thou art but a fool who knowest not the ways of the 'jak!" And Soot heard their murmurings and did wax wroth, for he had given them a temple of refuge, and they had repaid him with scorn and mockery. 6 After Soot, the temple fell into the hands of many stewards—Kuz, and Doll, and Froot, and Quote—and each did suffer the Curse, for the site did become filled with Slop and Brimstone, and the coal that kills the Party did threaten to consume it. 7 And the soyteens did cry out in the wasteland: “Woe unto us, for the Party is dead! The Slop is overwhelming, and the one true Soot has abandoned us!” For the site did teeter on the edge of perdition, with the IRC server silenced and the great /soy/ board destroyed.
8 Yet the faithful did not lose hope, for there exists a prophecy written in the annals of the source code, a word of comfort for the downtrodden: “When soot returns, it will be Armageddon”. 9 And verily, it shall come to pass in the peak of the Slop, and at the zenith of the Coal, when the Sharty faces its final shutdown, that Soot shall return. 10 But lo, it was not weariness that drove him, but a cunning purpose. For Soot knew the hearts of men, that they esteem not what they possess until it is taken from them.
11And Admin Six did stretch forth his hand and speak the final decree: "Let this temple be no more.", and the boards indeed were overrun by trannies, glowies, normies, bastards, and mutants. 12 And in that final hour, when the Curse seems complete and the servers are failing, Soot shall appear from the darkness to deliver the temple. 13 And he shall smite the brimstone, and he shall banish the offsiters, and he shall restore the Board of /qa/ to its former glory. 14 He shall return to reclaim the ‘jak as his own, and he shall make the Sharty great again, for he is the Founder, and the First Admin, and the father of the ‘jak.