№215656[Quote]
I TAUGHT 'GPT SOYSPEAK AND FED IT 2025 AND 2026 HAPPENINGS. HERE ARE THE PREDICTIONS FOR 2030:
2030 - Soysphere Prophecy (TRVTH EDITION)
January 1, 2030
Brimstone Winter V begins instantly at midnight. Entire /soy/ catalog is just 40 threads asking if the site fell off. Quote returns from a 3-year disappearance only to post “hi” and leave.
January 3
A nuGOD discovers how to make AI generate realistic custom gigas from one sentence. The ‘log is unrecoverable for 9 hours.
January 5
A janny attempts to enforce rules. Gets 700 reppeys of leakage and resigns by lunch.
January 8
/qa/ and /soy/ fight over whether 2028 was the peak year. 600 reply duel. Nobody reads any posts.
January 12
Someone rolls Alicia first try and is accused of being an inside job.
January 16
The booru adds neural search. Typing “gemmy” returns 40,000 unrelated images and one perfect result.
January 20
A random 17-year-old from Brisbane posts the hardest trvthnvke in site history. Archived instantly.
February 1
The annual anti-AI thread becomes 98% AI-generated posts arguing with other AI-generated posts.
February 7
Somephono leaks “Quotecord 2.” It is just 4 people posting reaction images.
February 14
Valentine’s Day. Entire board becomes clitty leakage and fake relationship LARPs.
February 19
A new owner appears, promises transparency, new servers, free speech, and better moderation. Disappears in 36 hours.
March 3
/soy/ reaches 2,000 PPH after a mainstream streamer accidentally opens the site on stream. Thousands of normies enter. They are gone by dawn.
March 9
A thread asking “What killed old internet culture?” hits bump limit three times.
March 15
Nusoi v9 launches. Fonts are worse somehow.
March 22
Someone creates a browser extension that converts all bad posts into Gigachad quotes. Instantly becomes mandatory.
April 1
Quote announces shutdown forever.
April Fools.
Then the site actually goes down for 14 hours.
April 8
A soyteen uses AI voice cloning to make historical figures argue on /pol/. Thread is called educational.
April 20
420 thread stickied. Dies in 11 minutes.
May 5
The first fully autonomous raid bot farm is exposed. Half the users were machines for months.
May 17
A new ideology poll drops:
Dollism
Frootism
Archiveism
BringBack2026ism
Anti-Everythingism
Nobody accepts results.
June 1
Someone finds a lost 2024 archive. Users weep openly.
June 14
The /int/ board becomes highest PPH again after one poster fights himself across 9 countries.
July 7
Massive GET war for 30,000,000. Winner says “first.”
August 11
A janny accidentally pins a schizo thread for 6 hours. It becomes canon lore.
September 9
Everyphono says he is leaving this time for real. Nobody believes him.
October 31
Halloween event adds temporary namerolls. 80% of users become paranoid instantly.
November 18
A teenager posts “How do I make friends?” Entire board gives sincere advice for 6 minutes before returning to warfare.
December 1
Annual “site is dead” thread reaches 1,200 replies, proving opposite.
December 31
Quote posts:
“2031 will be different.”
No one believes xim. Everyone logs in tomorrow anyway.
Final 2030 Prediction
More raids, more leakage, worse UI, stronger memes, endless nostalgia, and somehow the site still lives. GEG.