/news/ - Soy News

Following Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni's controversial decision to deport two Nigerian serial rapists, which has left Europeans in a wave of shock and questioning the Republic's allegiance to democracy, the Republic of Bibisi has declared secession from Italy.

Little is known about the leader of the insurgency, but independent sources suggest that he was the former administrator of a large imageboard. In a televised address he proclaimed in front of a cheering crowd: "We have had enough of Meloni's neofascist regime and gang of crooked bigots! I promise that every of my citizens will have a Sudanese BBC bull and in two generations all whitebois will be extinct and replaced by a superior mulatto race."

The new republic comprises a large phallus-shaped area stretching from Central Italy, all the way to the northern border. "This is ridiculous", Meloni said in an emergency address. "This area belongs to the Italian Republic and no terrorist will take it from us." Upon being asked how she plans to take the Italian claim, she replied: "We have an offer the terrorist leader cannot refuse. Deep in the jungles of the Congo, we have found the largest BBC in the world. It's just a massive chunk of meat, you can't even see the person attached to it. We have two chinook helicopters transporting him to Italy right now. The terrorist leader can have it, if he immediately surrenders his army and gives up his claim."

Upon being asked if he will take up Meloni's offer, the leader replied: "I don't know… maybe, I stil have to think about it Nyaaaaa <3 :3". In response to this turn of events, the United States have laid sanctions on Italy, banning the import of all Italian goods. In a televised address, US Preisdent Donald Trump explained: "It's a large BBC, the largest BBC you've ever seen. I've seen it myself, it's a huge chunk of meat. So I said, Gio - I call her Gio, you cannot have this much BBC for yourself. The American people need BBC, the world needs BBC. You can't have it." The European Court of Human Rights (EHCR) condemmned President Trump's actions, stating that "Treating living people like goods is inreconcilable with our shared values of democracy and human rights". In a fiery tweet, President Trump attacked the European Union saying:

"THEY ARE ACCUSING ME OF TREATING AFRICAN PEOPLE LIKE GOODS BECAUSE I SAID HOW IMPORTANT BBC IS. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH BBC EUROPE IS GETTING. THEY ARE RIGHT NEXT TO AFRICA, IMPORTING MILLIONS OF AFRICANS PER YEAR. WHAT DO THEY GIVE IN RETURN. LOOK AT EUROPE'S BIRTH RATE. IT'S THE LOWEST IN THE WORLD. SO LOW. THEY LET ALL THE AFRICANS FUCK EUROPEAN WOMEN, BUT THEY ARE ALL ON BIRTH CONTROL. THEY TAKE ALL THE BBC AND CONTRIBUTE NOTHING IN RETURN, NOT EVEN MULATTO BABIES. IT'S TIME FOR EUROPE TO CONTRIBUTE THEIR FAIR SHARE"

The Foreign Minstry of Ukraine voiced their support for the Italian rebels, saying that "Just like we fight against the Russians in the name of BBC, so we will support the freedom fighters in their quest. Slava Ukraini, slava BBC!"