/asp/ - All Sports

- died slipping on a banana, looking for tim-tams
- 0 (zero) attended her funeral
- dropped on her head into the grave by accident
- a passing boy had an upset stomach and threw up in her grave
- her big shoulders (and penis) were sticking outside the grave hole
- graveyard keepers had to jump on top of her to really get her in there
- she had a massive erection (pee pee like Excalibur sword)
- pilgrims actually came and tried to pull her penis away like the excalibur sword
- worms refused to eat her so she never decomposted
- they mistook the embalming fluid for chocolate so rhea was pumped full of chocolate like an eclair
- the embalming intern honked her b00bies (dont tell anyone)
- the graveyard keepers smoked cigarettes on top of her
- buddy was too busy playing fortnite, couldnt come
- buddy forgot her in 1 day and married alexa bliss
- they cremated her but mistook the urn and she ended up in a black pepper mill at a local bistro
- local necromancer dug her up and stole her bones to powder them and use them as fertilizer
- satan refused to take her soul so she is stuck in purgatory to this day waiting patiently
- can't go to asgard because she didnt die a warrior's death (slipped on banana peel)
- local villagers put a really heavy stone on her grave so she cant get out as a zombie
- the bank repossessed the house and threw all her labubu dolls in the trash can