/x/ - Paranormal/Schizo

It happens to me a lot when I dream but I feel like my free will is being taken away by what I persume to be archons, by free will being taken I mean I am incapable of making my own decision, it's like your being overwhelmed with emotions that aren't really yours and your just being put in someone (who thinks they know everything about you) else's narrative of how they perceive you

It just happens when I come across family members or old friends I don't really give a shit about/haven't talked with in a decade and suddenly I'm crying or overwhelmed by emotions like guilt or remorse

When I wake up I look back on those dreams and they are really retarded and inconsistent and I think this might be related with how the brain works with the pineal gland releasing DMT, I feel like that the human body itself is a prison with DMT being that chemical that the demiurge put in us to keep us slaves here to the hallucinations it offers

The same night I saw the Soyjak wiki article about the soul matrix and how looking up when your outside of your body to escape the grid surrounding the planet, I had a dream where I finally felt like I had the ability to make choices freely, but when I tried looking up all I did was end up collapsing on the ground and I fear that the light I saw up, was the same light that the archons use on you when you die and see all your family relatives which removes your free will

I hate this, I hate how I can't even decide what the next life I want to live will be. It's so evil.