/soy/ - Soyjaks

Avast! It be never too late to batten down the hatches and close that tab, ye scurvy dog! This message be brought to ye by the Soysphere Addiction Awareness Institute, me hearty! Arrr!

The Tale o' the Soyjak.party

Arrr, I be scribblin' this draft 'cause screw ye, I'll be tellin' these soy-lads to get a life when the mood strikes me, aye. I reckon this message be growin' urgent, me hearty.

Imageboards sail on the winds o' anonymity. The personality be secondary, savvy? What matters be the booty itself. The thread be funny? Bump it to the top. The thread be dogshit? Supersage it to the locker.

A healthy dose o' a few less anonymous souls be fine. They might be honest effort-posters, village idiots, or just have strange quirks. But too many o' 'em causes real trouble. They can plot behind closed doors to force a trend, coordinate attacks, or if they be truly wicked, post vile filth like child pornography and animal abuse. That last lot shares the same air as the rest o' us on this forsaken rock.

Soyjak websites be no exception. In truth, they be the prime examples, plain as the nose on a cap'n's face if ye read the Happenings page on the Soyjak Wiki. Even before the Sharty /qa/ had secret Discord groups forcin' unfunny bilge. Soot was just too green to see it.

In the final days o' the Kuz Era, there was so much child pornography and baby monkey torture videos posted that it’d make ye want to smash yer computer with a sledgehammer.

Doll managed to stop the worst o' the illegal cargo, but he banned doxxing, which led to mutiny, and the vessel was already gettin' normiefied by waves o' offsite immigrants in 2023. Not all o' 'em were bad, but it scared off a few o' the old salts.

The Froot Era was even worse. Many new variants were posted just for the sake o' it, and it started feelin' like the ship was overrun with literal 12-year-olds or man-children who never grew up, as shown by one underage lad gettin' outed (i664k) in late 2023. Most folks forgot the original purpose o' soyjaks, which was satire, though thankfully a bit o' the absurd remained. Many threads were about consumin' media made by the very folks the site would've mocked back in 2022. That be when the namefags became a bigger problem, gainin' fame and actin' like histrionic barnacles. Another big headache was folks forcin' garbage made for wee ones or edgy teens, and the admins treatin' /soy/, a board for soyjaks, as the main shittin' ground, leavin' other boards to rot—save for /qa/, which was for posts bad even by /soy/ standards.

SoyBooru deserves a mention too. It was never just for the anonymous, but it was meant to be an archive for Sharty images and videos. Then the namefags started gainin' more infamy. At first, it was good fun, but it started ruinin' the vessel as satire o' the outside world faded and meta namefag slop increased. This opened the hatch for terminally online Indonesian 12-year-olds who didn't know better and came not to satirize, but to get a dopamine hit from throwin' filth at each other. Like a wave o' schoolchildren or stowaways. The culture became incestuous, inbred, and largely meaningless.

The Quote Era was truly bleak and abysmal. Soyjaks weren't even funny anymore; they became "soysonas," self-inserts no different from OCs made by 14-year-olds. The SoyBooru was raped to death by Quote, so now it has a whole forum where namefags can discuss shit nobody cares about. It’s basically a social media site with even more immigrants, and it be boring as a calm sea. Managers and even janitors were encouraged to have names and personalities, turnin' folks who don't contribute a lick to the world—or even give me a belly laugh—into celebrities. By the end o' the Quote Era, the site had double-digit posts per hour.

The Salt Era seemed like a glimmer o' hope as he started removin' Quote's influence and even sought to wage war on the namefags. But suspicions rose when he unbanned gore and even the glorification o' school shooters and nihilist criminal imagery (like 764 symbols). I used to be a Saltist. At first, I thought the gore was just to fend off the offsiters, and the site was 18+ anyway. Gore was just a part o' reality, so the Sharty couldn't just be mundane escapism. Most Salt Era 'logs were gettin' pretty bad, but hey, some days had utter gems. But then the jannies started approvin' porn. Then more and more brimstone. A datin' board. I realized by then that postin' or watchin' gore was bloody weird.

Final words: Log off and get a life, ye scurvy dog. This website wastes yer time and makes ye more depressed and lazy. Ye'll feel like bilge water usin' it. Even if ye be an autistic weirdo, tryin' to socialize be miles better than talkin' to the lot here. Ye can find greener pastures like decent splinters and such, but it be best to just turn off the computer.