/soy/ - Soyjaks

Never thought I'd write about this, but here we go:
I've been watching sissy hypnosis for a few years now, at least since 2013 or so. For background, I've only been in relationships with cis women, though I've had a few flings with a few trans women and one dude. My porn habits grew from normal, if not female centered, stuff to porn with mostly trans women, and now consists almost exclusively of sissy hypnosis porn.
Given that I am quite masculine in appearance and don't really have any shot at looking like the woman I see in these videos, I've always been caught up in the disconnect between my physical self and the fantasy of becoming an attractive woman, and why this fetish has become a mainstay in my sexual life.
Like most people's sexual preferences, there isn't one particular reason as to why I like what I like, and I'd never assume to represent everyone else's reasons for watching this stuff. In my post-cum clarity, I used to analyze why I kept coming (heh) back to these videos. As I've gotten older and more comfortable in my own skin, I have more or less just come to accept that for whatever reason, this shit makes me cum hard, and I really don't have anything to be ashamed about, so who cares in the end.
That being said: I think sissy hypnosis is a combination of a lovely escape from the realities of my life (dislike of my body, a desire to feel wanted, to feel "attractive"), a way to relax myself out of overthinking and general body tensions that otherwise make sexual pleasure difficult to attain, and , imo most importantly, an engaging form of sexual media that catches my attention.
From what I've read and personally experience, hypnosis is a useful tool at getting into a mindful state. Having a well made video tell you to relax, breathe in, feel your physical body, literally trains yourself to get out of your head. This allows you to be more receptive to things you might find weird or repulsive, such as anal play or gender play. Of course, this only works within a limited range: If you seriously don't like scat, a hypnosis telling you to shit yourself will likely not be terribly effective. But if you are open minded to the idea and are in a particularly "Fuck it, why not" mood… Hypnosis could be the edge that allows yourself to indulge in that particular action.
For me, I've always been fascinated with the idea of being a woman. I honestly can't pin point one specific thing in my life that gave me this idea, but it has manifested itself in various ways in my life. I've always been relatively emotionally intelligent and aware compared to my guy friends. I've always felt more at ease in the company of women. I've never been a fan of my hairy, stocky body. Combine this with the current conversation on the fluidity of gender and the potential for exploring that, and you can see why the sissy hypno genre has gotten more popular.
That popularity has shifted the type of hypno media being created from simple hypno swirls with pictures and text overlays with a robotic voice, to full on high quality video series. While most of the content created nowadays is of mid to low quality, you have a few producers that understand video and sound editing software (creator AmberSis was one of the early high quality visual pioneers), have a good understanding of narrative structure, and enough creative flair to help people explore various aspects of their sexuality. I'm not well versed in other fetish communities, but the sheer explosion of visual and auditory stimuli in these videos seems unmatched in other fetishes. A good story told in a receptive, horny state can wiggle an idea into one's head quite efficiently. Throw in a massive dopamine hit of orgasm while watching these videos a few times, and you've got a pattern that your brain recognizes as arousal.
Side note to all of this: There is a specific hypno program, Bambi Sleep , that for me has been the closest to an actual full on hypnosis therapy session. It was a tad scary how effective it worked on me, so I did a bit of reading on this type of hypnosis. I stumbled upon the concept of tulpas, seperate personalities that can manifest themselves within someone's mind and sometimes even "take over" with enough practice. There is plenty to talk about on the subject, but having had this work on my own psyche was a wonderful way of playing with the very idea of my "self" and all that entails.
Now, the million dollar question: Can sissy hypnosis make an otherwise straight, cis man want to become trans, or at the very least actively cross dress? I am still not sure. At the end of the day, I generally still identify as male internally, and most certainly do externally. Are there times where I genuinely wish my body was more feminine? Yeah. But I recognize that ultimately, these videos are pure fantasy, and until I explore these ideas with a partner to figure out what I genuinely enjoy, I am quite ok with these things staying as fantasies.
<flood