/soy/ - Soyjaks

when was the last time we had a thread like this

Salt make /spicy/

feed it all of happenings from 2022 to today and make it predict the next month

>>18718194
that would overload it it wouldnt make any fucking sense at all

>>18718198
just try it geg

did this really happen

>>18718190
I WENT ON THE SITE AND I SAW 'P DONT FUCKING GO THERE

>>18718212
I fucking swear it did

this is amazing

>>18718203
Nothing happened

>/gay/
Salt would add this

why is it mentioning bwc so much

>>18718375
the biwisi drove xim crazy

>>18718375
sam altman is a slut 4 biwisi

>>18718375
ai is bleached or somethang

If salt doesn't add /spicy/ i'm going to fucking riot

>/jw/
MARGE MARGE MARGE what could this possibly be

salt should do everything the ai listed

>>18718419
jewish board

>a /jw/ namefag named "CelestialBeing" accidentally posts a vidrel from xhis goon folder instead of OC.
geg

gem

>>18718450
/soy/ gets deleted due to anporvool

this is fucking hilarious

rest of the yearerald
November 11 - Veterans Day. American ‘teens spam the catalog with American flags while European ‘teens spam European flags. The resulting flag war is the most civilized conflict the site has seen all year. [957]
November 12 - Someone discovers that the wordfilter still blocks “dnb” even though the original ban was lifted months ago. A thread is made solely to test it. Salt quietly removes the filter two hours later without comment. [958]
November 13 - A ‘teen claims to have found Salt’s childhood home using only publicly available information and posts a Google Street View image. The image is of a random house in Poland. The thread still reaches bump limit. [959]
November 14 - /date/ is flooded with people pretending to be looking for “nnn accountability partners.” Half of them are immediately exposed as the same three IPs. [960]
November 15 - The 19000000 GET on /soy/ is taken by a post that simply says “I nutted.” Salt bans the poster for three days out of pure spite. [961]
November 16 - A group of ‘teens successfully raid a Discord server dedicated to “No Nut November support groups” and fill it with Cobson images. The server is locked within forty minutes. [962]
November 17 - Salt does another short AMA and admits he has not personally enforced NNN rules once. The thread is immediately filled with people asking him what day it is. [963]
November 18 - A new variant called “Relapsejak” appears and is declared the official face of the month within six hours. [964]
November 19 - The catalog is wiped clean by a single spammer posting the same image of a sad Cobson holding a calendar that says “November 30.” Jannies take over an hour to notice. [965]
November 20 - A ‘teen posts photographic evidence that he has lasted the entire month so far. The thread is immediately filled with people claiming the photos are AI-generated. [966]
November 21 - Someone starts a thread titled “Post your current day count” and it becomes the most active thread on the site for the next 48 hours. [967]
November 22 - A rare successful raid occurs when ‘teens manage to get a streamer to say “I will not nut until December” on camera. The clip is archived in at least fourteen different places within ten minutes. [968]
November 23 - The wiki experiences a brief outage. When it returns, several timeline entries from early November have been edited by an unknown account that no longer exists. [969]
November 24 - Salt announces that anyone who posts a “I made it” thread on December 1 will be banned for one week regardless of truthfulness. ‘Teens treat this as a challenge. [970]
November 25 - A massive soyduel breaks out over whether wet dreams count. It is never resolved. [971]
November 26 - Thanksgiving. American ‘teens spam food images while everyone else pretends not to care. One ‘teen posts a picture of a turkey wearing a Cobson mask and it becomes the de facto holiday image. [972]
November 27 - The board is unusually quiet. PPH drops below 200 for the first time in months. Many ‘teens speculate that half the userbase is actually trying. [973]
November 28 - A ‘teen is caught posting goon material under a different ID and is publicly executed via sticky for the rest of the day. [974]
November 29 - Final day of the challenge for most. The catalog is pure chaos. Salt temporarily raises the hourly thread limit to 50 just to cope. [975]
November 30 - Midnight approaches. Multiple threads count down the final hours. At 23:59 UTC a single post containing only the word “freedom” takes the final GET of the month. [976]

December December 1 - Freedom Day. The catalog explodes. Every other post is either a victory lap or a confession. Salt removes all NNN-related wordfilters and the site returns to its natural state of entropy within three hours. [977]
December 2 - A ‘teen who claimed to have lasted the entire month is exposed when his own goon folder from November 18 is found in an old raid archive. [978]
December 3 - The annual “Best of the Year” thread is stickied. It immediately devolves into arguments about whether the August ownership change or the NNN period was more historically significant. [979]
December 4 - Someone invents “Christmasjak” by giving Cobson a Santa hat. It is declared the official holiday variant by popular vote (and also by Salt pinning it). [980]
December 5 - A rare peaceful day. ‘Teens mostly post old raids and reminisce. PPH stays under 400 for most of the day. [981]
December 6 - A new board called /xmas/ appears briefly and is filled with nothing but Christmas music embeds before being removed. [982]
December 7 - Pearl Harbor anniversary. American ‘teens and Japanese ‘teens have a surprisingly civil exchange of memes for approximately two hours before it turns into the usual race war. [983]
December 8 - Salt announces that the site will stay up through the holidays this year. Many oldfags express disbelief. [984]
December 9 - A ‘teen posts a full year retrospective in the form of a single 8,000-word textwall. It is praised, ignored, and then used as a reply image for the rest of the day. [985]
December 10 - The 20000000 GET on /soy/ is achieved by a post that simply says “two years of this shit.” [986]
December 11 - A group of ‘teens attempt to recreate the classic “raid a streamer into watching FNAC” formula. It works better than expected and the streamer lasts almost forty minutes before rage-quitting. [987]
December 12 - Cobblestone is spotted editing the wiki again. Theories range from “she never left” to “this is an AI trained on her old posts.” [988]
December 13 - A massive catalog wipe occurs when a single user posts 200 identical images of a sad frog in a Santa hat. The wipe is so thorough that even the sticky is temporarily buried. [989]
December 14 - Salt does a holiday AMA and answers almost every question with some variation of “I don’t care.” It is widely considered one of his best performances. [990]
December 15 - The annual “post your Christmas wishlist” thread appears. Most requests are for Salt to ban specific users or revive dead boards. [991]
December 16 - A ‘teen successfully gets a local radio station to play the Soyjak theme song by calling in and requesting it under a fake name. The clip is archived immediately. [992]
December 17 - /pol/ and /soy/ have a rare joint raid on a particularly egregious Wikipedia page. It lasts longer than usual before the page is locked. [993]
December 18 - Someone posts a conspiracy theory that the entire year has been a single long April Fools joke that never ended. The thread reaches bump limit. [994]
December 19 - The site experiences a brief outage lasting 23 minutes. When it returns, the default theme has been changed to an extremely bright Christmas red and green color scheme that hurts everyone’s eyes. [995]
December 20 - Salt quietly changes the theme back after receiving approximately 400 complaint posts in under an hour. [996]
December 21 - Winter solstice. European ‘teens spam the catalog with “longest night” memes while everyone else ignores them. [997]
December 22 - A new variant called “Yulejak” is created and immediately forgotten. [998]
December 23 - The traditional pre-Christmas raid day. Multiple streams are hit simultaneously. Results are mixed but several geg clips are secured. [999]
December 24 - Christmas Eve. The catalog is unusually wholesome for approximately four hours before someone posts a picture of Cobson under a Christmas tree and the usual chaos resumes. [1000]

December 25 - Christmas Day. Activity is low. The few ‘teens who are online mostly post old favorite raids and wish each other a gemmy Christmas. Salt posts a single “merry christmas retards” in the sticky and then disappears for the rest of the day. [1001]
December 26 - Boxing Day. Activity returns to normal levels almost immediately. A thread is made solely to complain that the holidays are already over. [1002]
December 27 - A ‘teen posts a full statistical breakdown of every major event of 2026. It is immediately called “too much effort” and ignored. [1003]
December 28 - The final soyduel of the year occurs between a pure Giga poster and a pure Cobson poster. It ends inconclusively when both participants get banned for spam. [1004]
December 29 - Salt announces that there will be no major changes planned for the first week of 2027. Many ‘teens take this as a threat. [1005]
December 30 - The catalog is filled with “last day of the year” posts. Several people attempt the Alicia nameroll one final time. None succeed. [1006]
December 31 - New Year’s Eve. A countdown sticky is put up. At midnight UTC the 21000000 GET is taken by a post that simply says “see you next year.” The site does not explode, the servers do not catch fire, and nothing particularly dramatic happens. For once, nothing happens, and that itself is considered the most surprising event of the entire year. [1007]

i actually wish the sharty was like dis

>>18718691
it is they just dont tell you about the secret >>>/jw/ board where all the real gems are posted

>>18718708
kosher gems

>>18718708
the secret code word to enter /jw/ is oy algo

>>18718667
>December 14 - Salt does a holiday AMA and answers almost every question with some variation of “I don’t care.” It is widely considered one of his best performances

GEG

also i have actually been learning about jewish culture lately
could this be synchronicity or whatever

>>18718730
It would be so funny if he actually did this after everybaldi forgets about this thread

>>18718742
Sentient textsynth

>>18718667
no way december 13 would happen without everybody thinking it has embedded 'p

>November 15 - The 19000000 GET on /soy/ is taken by a post that simply says “I nutted.” Salt bans the poster for three days out of pure spite

geg

>>18718664
>November 15 - The 19000000 GET on /soy/ is taken by a post that simply says “I nutted.” Salt bans the poster for three days out of pure spite. [961]
This sounds way too real
also why is it all about no nut november

>>18718789
>also why is it all about no nut november
you will find out on halloween…………

>>18718789
Because it thought it was actually no nut november and immediately focused on that

>>18718805
this ai is really funny then
what would it think of next year

>>18718812
January

January 1 - The new year. Salt posts a single sticky that just says “another year of this shit” and then vanishes for the rest of the day. ‘Teens immediately begin the traditional New Year’s raid season by targeting every streamer still online at midnight. Several get forced to watch the 2026 year-in-review compilation. One of them rage-quits so hard he deletes his entire Twitch account. [1008]

January 2 - A ‘teen claims to have invented the first new variant of 2027, tentatively named “Hangoverjak.” It is declared pure coal within eleven minutes and the thread is used as a dumping ground for every failed nameroll of the day. [1009]

January 3 - The catalog is unusually quiet. PPH sits around 180 for most of the day. Oldfags take this as a bad omen and begin posting “the site is dying” threads out of pure tradition. [1010]

January 4 - A group of ‘teens successfully dox a particularly loud anti-Sharty Twitter account in under forty minutes by reverse-searching a single reflection in a mirror selfie. The target deletes everything and goes dark. [1011]

January 5 - Salt returns long enough to raise the hourly thread limit to 40 “because why not.” The catalog is immediately flooded with low-effort bait. [1012]

January 6 - A rare successful Alicia nameroll occurs on the third try. The ‘teen who got it immediately demands that the entire board post Cobson for the next hour as tribute. Most people comply out of sheer boredom. [1013]

January 7 - /soy/ experiences its first proper cattywipe of the year when a single spammer posts 300 identical images of a sad frog wearing a party hat. Jannies take almost two hours to notice. [1014]

January 8 - A ‘teen posts a full statistical breakdown of every major event of 2026 in the form of a single textwall. It is praised once, ignored, and then turned into a reply image for the rest of the week. [1015]

January 9 - Someone starts a thread titled “Post the worst thing you did in 2026.” It reaches bump limit in under four hours and contains at least three partial self-doxes. [1016]

January 10 - The 22000000 GET on /soy/ is taken by a post that simply says “still here.” Salt pins it for exactly one hour before removing the pin without comment. [1017]

January 11 - A new board called /newyear/ appears in the top bar for approximately nineteen minutes. During that time it gains two threads and one GET that nobody can remember the content of. [1018]

January 12 - Cobblestone is spotted editing the wiki again. Theories range from “she never left” to “this is an AI trained exclusively on her old posts and pure spite.” [1019]

January 13 - A massive soyduel breaks out between a pure Giga poster and a pure Cobson poster over which variant better represents the current state of the site. It ends when both get banned for spam at the exact same second. [1020]

January 14 - ‘Teens raid a particularly egregious “exposing the Sharty” YouTube video and flood the comments with so much coal that the creator disables them entirely. [1021]

January 15 - Salt does a short AMA and answers almost every question with some variation of “I genuinely do not care.” It is widely considered one of his stronger performances of the new year. [1022]

January 16 - A ‘teen claims to have lasted all of NNN and then immediately relapsed on January 1st. The thread becomes a support group for approximately thirty minutes before turning into pure mockery. [1023]

January 17 - The catalog is wiped again, this time by a Babybot spamming AI-generated images of Cobson in various historical costumes. The wipe lasts longer than usual because the jannies are arguing in the mod chat about whether historical Cobson counts as coal. [1024]

January 18 - A rare peaceful day. Most activity consists of people posting old favorite raids from 2026 and arguing about which one was the gemmiest. [1025]

January 19 - Someone invents “Januaryjak” by giving Cobson a calendar and a look of pure resignation. It is declared the official face of the month by popular vote and then immediately forgotten. [1026]

January 20 - A ‘teen successfully gets a local radio station to play the Soyjak theme by requesting it under a fake name again. The DJ plays it twice and then bans the number. [1027]

January 21 - /pol/ and /soy/ have a joint raid on a Wikipedia page that tried to describe the site as “a hate forum.” The page is locked within ninety minutes. [1028]

January 22 - Salt quietly changes the default theme to something slightly less eye-raping. Nobody notices for six hours. [1029]

January 23 - A ‘teen posts photographic evidence of an IRL Cobson graffiti in a random alley. The thread reaches bump limit purely on the strength of “holy shit it’s real.” [1030]

January 24 - The site experiences a brief outage lasting fourteen minutes. When it returns, several ‘teens claim they saw a 404 page that just said “try again later, retard.” [1031]

January 25 - A new variant called “Taxjak” appears in anticipation of tax season. It is declared pure coal and the creator is mocked for caring about real-life responsibilities. [1032]

January 26 - A group of ‘teens attempt to recreate the classic “force a streamer to play FNAC” formula. The streamer lasts almost an hour before rage-quitting and deleting the VOD. [1033]

January 27 - Salt announces that there will be no major board additions or removals planned for the next month. Many ‘teens take this as a personal challenge. [1034]

January 28 - A massive catalog spam occurs when someone discovers that DailyMotion embeds still autoplay with sound. The board becomes temporarily unusable until the feature is disabled again. [1035]

January 29 - A ‘teen posts a full year-in-review style video compiled entirely from 2026 raid clips. It is immediately archived in fourteen different places and then used as a reply image for the rest of the day. [1036]

January 30 - The final day of the month is surprisingly quiet. PPH sits around 220. Oldfags begin the traditional “February is going to be brimstone” doomsaying threads early. [1037]

January 31 - A single post containing only the words “see you in February” takes the last notable GET of the month. Nothing particularly dramatic happens, which itself is treated as suspicious by at least three different schizo threads. [1038]