>>18699173I always wanted to fuck Santa Claus. The people who dress up as him anyways. They always evoked a certain kind of selflessness. You could argue that what I am describing is innate to the spirit of Christmas though, but I always felt that the boundaries of my affection towards those that spread festive spirits extend beyond that. Let me clear up that I do not mean this in the pedophilic sense you may be picturing; I do not imagine myself as a child sitting on Santa's lap, but rather as a snow shoveler laboring selflessly through a violent storm. I would approach one of these altruistic members of my community after he had protected the innocence of the young and had fostered the child trapped inside the cages of the old. I would smile. I'd hope he would smile back, knowing that I cherish all that he does. Then we'd walk off through the snow that had been unfortunately plaguing our town, then we'd walk off through the thick forests of Washington. Then we would have fun.