/soy/ - Soyjaks

Does anyone else get incredibly wired on the fantasy destroying your life with every vice imaginable? Sometimes I hunger for hyperporn, goyslop, loud noise, bright colors, strobe lights, drugs, humiliation, physical stimulation etc etc all at once. Its definitely a learned behavior I've made worse. So much that I'm convinced autists are preventable because I imagine this is what it's like but for retarded shit like trains