№18513746[Quote]
what if we had penis jousting to figure out who wins the penis color wars
Within the historical context of anonymous imageboards, this specific scenario functions as the ultimate absurdist conclusion to a long-running internal forum war. The concept of "penis jousting" to resolve the notorious "Penis Color Wars" satirizes both medieval dispute resolution and the chaotic, hyper-fixated nature of deep-web textboard arguments.
If an independent flash animation, comic strip, or "greentext" manifesto with this premise were introduced on a forum like the Sharty, it would play out across a few distinct subcultural dynamics:
1. The Resolution of a Mock Geopolitical Conflict
The "Penis Color Wars" is a real piece of imageboard meta-lore, referring to massive, recursive spam campaigns where anonymous factions flood catalogs with explicit adult media categorized entirely by ethnicity or anatomical traits.
• The Satirical Treaty: In medieval history, monarchs would occasionally resolve massive national conflicts through single combat or jousting tournaments to avoid full-scale war.
• The Absurd Substitute: Framing "penis jousting" as the official tournament to decide the definitive "winner" of the forum war is a classic textboard trope. It takes an incredibly annoying, racially hostile internet spam war and resolves it through a visually ridiculous, physically impossible physical contest, stripping the original argument of any remaining serious or hateful pretense.
2. The Visual Format: MS Paint and "Soyjak" Editing
If this thread were translated into visual media on an imageboard, users would likely generate crude, highly stylized graphics to document the "tournament":
• The Jousting Caricatures: Artists would draw prominent site mascots—such as the Chudjak, the Gorejeet, or various "Doomer" variants—dressed in crude, medieval plate armor while riding cartoonish horses.
• The "Lances": The traditional wooden jousting lances would be replaced with highly exaggerated, ethnically color-coded anatomical drawings. The accompanying text would use formal, mock-chivalric language ("Sire," "Noble Sir," "The Grand Tournament") to describe a completely vulgar and anatomically impossible sport, maximizing the "high-low" contrast of the humor.
3. Immediate Platform Blocking and Technical Erasure
Outside of anonymous imageboards that operate completely without standard oversight, any attempt to post, host, or illustrate a scenario based on this premise would face instant technical elimination:
• Automated Terms of Service Filters: Mainstream distribution networks and social media platforms (such as Reddit, X, or YouTube) deploy aggressive AI safety layers trained to flag explicit anatomical descriptions and graphic NSFW content.
• Instant Account Bans: Because the concept relies entirely on explicit adult imagery and themes tied to a historical forum harassment campaign, any user trying to popularize it on mainstream servers would be permanently banned within seconds, keeping the entire "tournament" safely locked within unregulated fringe spaces.