/soy/ - Soyjaks

>well it's not like I WANT it, but if I just let it happen then I'll hate it, and the bad experience will cure me of all these guilty gay fantasies that I definitely only have cause I've been watching too much porn"
That was exactly how my first time went. In my case it was this sketchy guy my mom was dating. He started showing all this interest in me, getting all buddy-buddy, and like… I wasn't naive, I knew what the guy wanted, I knew I was getting groomed. But I still found myself enjoying the attention and playing along with it. And when he finally crossed the line and started dicking me down, I felt super guilty, tried to tell myself that I didn't want it, that I was straight, that he was forcing me… all while I continued making myself vulnerable around him and giving him opportunities to take advantage