â„–18303494[Quote]
>Being a trans woman is I think just one of the worst existences someone could ever be cursed with. You're born in a body you hate with a voice you hate and for the first portion of your life you don't even know why you hate it, just that you have to wake up every morning and know that what you see in the mirror disgusts you.
>Your parents, at best, don't understand you, and at worst, grow to spite you and want you dead because you dare to identify the problem that's causing your agony.
>you take pills and do injections to try and make things better but it's not enough, it never is and never will be, because every day you'll look outside and see cis women and girls your age who live peacefully without once having to engage in introspection as to how they know who they are, or once having to be grateful that they were given the gift of being born female.
>So you try to hide online, because you hope it'll make you feel safe and you won't have to be perceived by others. And you meet other trans women and all of them seem to have started HRT earlier in life than you did, all of them seem to have better genetics, a better face, better hair, better makeup skills, better voice, more money, and more time and less dysphoria than you do. They say nice things about you but it doesn't ever feel real. It just makes you more angry.
>Your own mind is a whirlwind of self-hate, dysphoria, and misery, and all the while, you look on the news and see how much everyone hates you. The politicians are passing laws to have you denied the one thing that makes it seem like things might be okay, the surgeries you need more than oxygen but will never be able to afford are being stripped away from the few girls who are able to wait in line to get them, the news anchors are calling you groomers, pedophiles, rapists, men in dresses, predators, school shooters, psychopaths.
>All with a sick glee at the idea of you being burned in the deepest pits of hell, your mental illness being apparently the only one which should be met not with patience and understanding but a bullet to the forehead.
>You have no allies. Not cis allies, not queer people, not even trans people. Trans women eat each other alive because there can only ever be one of us at a time who gets to be happy, and the only way to get there is by being the good transsexual that steps on the rest of them to climb her way out of the bucket. Non-binary people and trans men are worse. To them, you're male-socialized, AMAB, hold male privilege, natural-born rapists who need to unlearn their misogyny, and all your friends are rapists predator pedos with racism problems and wait, haven't you heard these ones before?
>And did I mention that it's also all your fault? You're just wallowing in your own misery. People would like you more if you were happier. If you went to therapy you wouldn't hate your body so much. It's all in your head. Dysphoria isn't real, silly. You need to stop projecting. Why aren't you happy? Shouldn't you be satisfied? Oh you don't actually want to be a woman, being a woman is miserable. You wouldn't like it.
>It's better just to repress. Repress repress repress. You know you can't do it forever, one day the pain won't be enough and you won't be able to take it anymore, but maybe for now it'll be enough. Just repress. And then one day you'll die, just like the rest of your sisters. And it'll be okay. You'll be happy, you'll be satisfied, fulfilled. Maybe in death or in the next life you'll get to be a real woman but you don't think so.
>Until then, you just have to repress.
â„–18303522[Quote]
this made me cry
â„–18303607[Quote]
rare giga